Getting used to sobriety

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
Digity
Posts: 1445
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:13 am

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Digity »

I keep the five precepts, but I'll smoke a cigar once in a blue moon...didn't think it broke the precepts.
D.T.Coyle
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 12:44 pm

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by D.T.Coyle »

Congratulations Sadge.

I'm dipping my toes back into the stream for similar reasons. My alcohol consumption is getting out of hand. I drink nearly everyday, and drink heavily on the weekends. I'm certainly addicted, as I feel a physical craving to drink, especially when distressed in some manner. Aside from being ashamed that I feel a need for a substance, I'm also concerned about my health. With as much as I drink, and for as long as I've been at it, health is a valid concern.

I was talking to a guy at work the other night near the end of the shift. I said "well, almost beer:30!", he replied, "yeah, wish I could have one, but I've had to quit since the seizures started". He went on to explain that due the amounts he use to drink, and a pre-existing condition, he started having seizures. He later revealed that his brother had died at 35 due to liver damage caused by heavy consumption. This little exchange really shook something lose in me, and made me realize that I was being reckless, even when knowing that I was being reckless. I'm grateful for this experience, it's given me motivation to do something about it. I believe the thing to do about it, is get back into practice, and get support from others.

I'm off on the right foot. I bypassed the gas station this morning on my way home from work, where I'd normally stop to pick up a six pack. It wasn't as much of a battle as I feared it would be, though when I got home, it was a bit more difficult because my routine is to crack one open and hop online... and drink for several hours... then stay up longer then I should... then not get as much sleep as I should, waking up feeling like crap... not having any energy for exercise or hobbies... rinse/repeat. It really is a bad way of living.
User avatar
kirk5a
Posts: 1959
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:51 pm

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by kirk5a »

Congratulations to those choosing the way of sobriety. I used to be a heavy drinker myself. I would like to share something from my experience. Abstain from drinking, but do not rely solely upon the willpower to abstain. It's too gritty. Giving up the pleasures of alcohol, you will need to find an inner source of satisfaction to replace that. So - discover the satisfaction and pleasure which arises from putting effort into wakefulness. Just remember - quality of result depends upon quality of effort. Right effort - not too tight, not too loose. :anjali:
"When one thing is practiced & pursued, ignorance is abandoned, clear knowing arises, the conceit 'I am' is abandoned, latent tendencies are uprooted, fetters are abandoned. Which one thing? Mindfulness immersed in the body." -AN 1.230
Sadge
Posts: 39
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:30 am
Location: U. K

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Sadge »

5 months sober apart from nicotine. 3 days 100% sober.... And fell off the wagon. Giving up nicotine creates SO much anger. I gave in to dukkha and had some beers. They were horrible! I felt a million times worse! More anger, more frustration. Very useful lesson to learn.... Alcohol makes you think it will be better with it but it just makes worse. Do I feel stupid now *sigh*
User avatar
manas
Posts: 2678
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:04 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by manas »

Sadge wrote:5 months sober apart from nicotine. 3 days 100% sober.... And fell off the wagon. Giving up nicotine creates SO much anger. I gave in to dukkha and had some beers. They were horrible! I felt a million times worse! More anger, more frustration. Very useful lesson to learn.... Alcohol makes you think it will be better with it but it just makes worse. Do I feel stupid now *sigh*
Hi Sadge,

nicotine isn't a 'drug that leads to heedlessness', so I would say that if you were only smoking you could count that at being '100% sober'. While I'm also trying to cut down on smoking, I don't regard it as intoxication. It doesn't give me either a high or a trip, just a brief head rush, which is a purely physical phenomenon. And while smoking tobacco long term can harm your body, it won't harm your mind in the way that alcohol does. So maybe try giving up the tobacco more gradually, seeing it as the lesser of two evils? It is still within the five lay precepts to smoke tobacco. Do what you have to do to stay off the grog, that's my advice, yes even if that means giving yourself a smoke now and then.

Take heart Sadge, you will succeed ultimately, just keep striving in the right direction. Every time you make a resolve and then keep it, you strengthen the mind in that direction. You already achieved much with the three-month stint of abstinence. If you get back on the wagon now, it won't be quite so hard to do it again (stay off the grog).

metta
manas :anjali:
To the Buddha-refuge i go; to the Dhamma-refuge i go; to the Sangha-refuge i go.
User avatar
mirco
Posts: 450
Joined: Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:12 pm

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by mirco »

Sadge wrote:Just want to point out that I don't need to go to AA meetings! I was never an alcoholic, pothead yes, ...
Well, take a look at NA. I was heavily drinking, smoking weed, doing coke, acid, mdma, speed, shrooms. When I stopped using I went to the meetings. Relapsed a dozen times. But without the meetings I never would have made it. Best places in the world. It saved my life. There I met people who exactly knew how I felt, and that made me feel comfortable. So I went there again. Now I'm clean for more than two years, just for today. :-)

http://ukna.org

Be Well,
Mirco
Sadge
Posts: 39
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:30 am
Location: U. K

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Sadge »

Thanks everyone for your support.

I reckon I'm making this sound worse than it is!

Think I'm over the hump with nicotine, feeling much calmer today. Man. I have nothing else to give up! Amazing!
Arali
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Aug 16, 2013 7:37 pm

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Arali »

Well done Sadge. :twothumbsup:
Digity
Posts: 1445
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:13 am

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Digity »

Sadge wrote:Thanks everyone for your support.

I reckon I'm making this sound worse than it is!

Think I'm over the hump with nicotine, feeling much calmer today. Man. I have nothing else to give up! Amazing!
Nothing else to give up!? Come on now, there's plenty....like all those defilements in your head. :D
User avatar
Stu
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jul 18, 2013 3:33 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Stu »

Digity wrote:
Sadge wrote:Thanks everyone for your support.

I reckon I'm making this sound worse than it is!

Think I'm over the hump with nicotine, feeling much calmer today. Man. I have nothing else to give up! Amazing!
Nothing else to give up!? Come on now, there's plenty....like all those defilements in your head. :D
Yeah, well said. In my experience of the path, it's a process of gradually 'giving things up', renouncing or abstaining from things, letting them go, peeling them off -- but the other side of that process is you're likely to discover or re-discover other things that are more helpful, whether that be meditation, friendship, dana, etc.

Alcohol/intoxicants and nicotine have been problematic for me at various times. And in the past when I 'took a break' from them for an extended period, I had the problem of struggling to enjoy myself or relate to others without them. But I've found this becomes less of a problem the more I deepen my practice -- the more I cultivate mindfulness, compassion, equanimity, etc.

Anyway Sadge, I congratulate you on giving up the booze and the smokes. :) I definitely feel a lot better for having given them up.
manas wrote:nicotine isn't a 'drug that leads to heedlessness', so I would say that if you were only smoking you could count that at being '100% sober'. While I'm also trying to cut down on smoking, I don't regard it as intoxication. It doesn't give me either a high or a trip, just a brief head rush, which is a purely physical phenomenon. And while smoking tobacco long term can harm your body, it won't harm your mind in the way that alcohol does.
In my experience I've found it difficult to separate what's physical from what's mental when it comes to something like a nicotine 'head rush'. And while I agree in a sense that smoking tobacco 'won't harm your mind in the way that alcohol does', I'd say that smoking tobacco is still harmful for the mind -- certainly once you become addicted. I think back to all the cravings for a cigarette, the irritability that would arise if one couldn't smoke when one wanted to, how thoughts of smoking become so prevalent in the mind ... Looking back, I think such mind-states could at least contribute to some form of heedlessness. Or do you think I'm taking liberties with the definition of 'heedlessness' in terms of the fifth precept here?
Sadge
Posts: 39
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:30 am
Location: U. K

Re: Getting used to sobriety

Post by Sadge »

Finally I know it is out of my system. Man was I a stroppy person for a good 3 weeks. Done done done.
Post Reply