I am responsible for a quarrel between family members

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Training of Sila, the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).

I am responsible for a quarrel between family members

Postby Billy25 » Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:27 pm

I have a severe moral hangover. I know what i did is wrong, but i just could not help myself. I am just so mad at myself. What can I do to make things better? I was just so angry, so so angry the things flew out of my control. I am a very private person, and I do not discuss my personal life with anyone. One of my family members told my estranged aunt what I am studying and I just went mad. We do not get along with this autn, basically with all my fathers sisters and brothers and I just hate the idea they know what I am about to do with my life (studying). And when I heard my father explaining her what I am doing I just got so angry I called my mother who escorted (with shouting) my aunt out of our house. My aunt lives in a nother state and comes every few years. But I am still appaled by the idea she's going to tell everyone of my estranged family members (aunts, cousins, uncles - i mean i wish them all the best, but I do not regard them as my family members) what's going on in my life. I had a row with my father, telling him some pretty nasty things. Well I told him he is stupid. I do not remember the last time I was so angry, furious. I was well aware that my words were bad and completely inappropriate but I just could not help myself. I am still angry when writting this. This happened an hour ago.
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Re: I am responsible for a quarrel between family members

Postby reflection » Sat Jun 08, 2013 5:25 pm

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear of your trouble. We all make mistakes from time to time, and as cliché as it may sound, they are an opportunity to learn. But if you are still angry now, it is not the best time to reflect on what you have done and what to do next. Your mind will still be clouded by the anger and if you reflect on things now, you're likely to refuel it again. I think the best thing is to find a skillful way to remove your anger, by cultivating some kindness in your mind. It may take a while, but when you are at ease again, you can reflect on what happened and how you can make things better. It'll probably all be clearer then.

With metta,
Reflection
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Re: I am responsible for a quarrel between family members

Postby Crazy cloud » Sat Jun 08, 2013 6:26 pm

And while you cool down - try to notice/analyze what that special feeling is, and what it does to your whole body and mind (maybe takes your mind of the angerobjekt) - possibility to learn valuable lessons for later developments ...

Best regards

:candle:
your name Mori means forest like the infinite fresh green distances of your blindness
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