Sensual desire

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Sensual desire

Postby Bunks » Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:52 pm

How does one reconcile a healthy sex life with my wife against letting go of all sensual desires in order to achieve enlightenment?
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Re: Sensual desire

Postby lyndon taylor » Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:01 pm

If sex is important enough to you, try harder to give up other sensual pleasures, just an idea. The Buddha always encouraged Married men to be especially good to their wives and remain faithful. Just how giving up sex works in that equation doesn't make much sense to me, but some couples do it, just maybe not you, I wouldn't lose sleep over it, unless you're loseing sleep because you're having sex!!
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John
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Re: Sensual desire

Postby PadmaPhala » Fri Jun 21, 2013 1:51 am

being an anagami does not imply being asexual*, not that there's anything wrong with this almost-never discussed on sexual preference.

*but there's a general, "meh" or "your loss" with it... ironically, lady seems to enjoy and be attracted to someone like that.
Last edited by PadmaPhala on Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Sensual desire

Postby binocular » Fri Jun 21, 2013 8:12 am

Bunks wrote:How does one reconcile a healthy sex life with my wife against letting go of all sensual desires in order to achieve enlightenment?

"Healthy" according to whose standards?
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Re: Sensual desire

Postby Dan74 » Fri Jun 21, 2013 10:00 am

Bunks wrote:How does one reconcile a healthy sex life with my wife against letting go of all sensual desires in order to achieve enlightenment?


There have been some great threads on this topic. My approach to this is to practice where I am now. Some things I see as problematic and unwholesome and I hould apply attention there. Others may seem perfectly fine but over time may dwindle in prominence or fall away altogether. Most of us like sex and rather than worrying about giving it up, we can bring some mindfulness to it, be more attentive to our partners, more giving and loving and this would already be a big improvement for many, I think. This would make sex less self-centered, less about "my pleasure", "my gratification" and this is going in the direction that the Buddha recommended.
_/|\_
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Re: Sensual desire

Postby Bunks » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:40 am

Thanks Dan74.

This is something I am working on. I have always been quite repressed with regard to my sexuality but my wife has encouraged me to be more open with her. I am working at it.......
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Re: Sensual desire

Postby retrofuturist » Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:43 am

Greetings Bunks,

Given your post immediately above, you might find this article to be of interest...

A contemporary analysis of the dukkha of avoidance
viewtopic.php?f=14&t=17663

Metta,
Retro. :)
If you have asked me of the origination of unease, then I shall explain it to you in accordance with my understanding:
Whatever various forms of unease there are in the world, They originate founded in encumbering accumulation. (Pārāyanavagga)


Exalted in mind, just open and clearly aware, the recluse trained in the ways of the sages:
One who is such, calmed and ever mindful, He has no sorrows! -- Udana IV, 7


Dharma Wheel (Mahayana / Vajrayana forum) -- Open flower ~ Open book (blog)
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