I have had a keen interest in the Dhamma for a few years now, reading a lot and gaining a useful intellectual understanding of the Dhamma. I mainly practiced what I called Anapanasati and some Metta on occasion. I have really felt great benefits in this time and felt like I had some insights into the Dhamma on some short retreats and visting a monastery for a time once. I decided I needed to find a technique and stick with it to develop some real insight and to move forward, some monastics recommended Goenka style to me and I said I would give it a go, so today I have arrived back from my 10 day retreat and I feel it was the best thing I have done in my life. There was a real experience of Dukkha and a strong sense of arising and passing away as the days passed in the course. This was my first experience of sweeping and I am amazed that I have not being doing this all along . I felt the subtle vibrations all through my body as I became equanimous to plaeasure and pain, I entered in to free flow and moved through my whole body inside and out , at one stage I just stopped, and my whole body radiated and pulsed in a mass of changing phenomena. There was a real experience of no self, when I came out I still had a deep rooted sense of self but I have had the experience of not having one, this may sound strange but it is what I have experinced. When I told the teacher about the radiating and pulsing he said I should not stay like that too long before sweeping again so as to work on my equanimity, but that this is very good. So the last few days went like that, sweeping , radiating and pulsing, arising and passing away.I did experdience occasional blocks of pain or gross sensations but with total equanimity.
Now I am home I feel I should of discussed all of this further with the teacher but at the time I did not care and could really hold a thought in a way, strange.
Anyone have anything similar happen?
Also I am very sensitive now to sense pleasure , listened to some music and I felt orgasmic with vibrations, hard to work on equanimity in this instance but I will be patient and diligent. I realize that the senstivity will change aswell.
Would it be just as good to meditate for two hours in the morning instead of one in morning and one at night?
If any one could answer my queations and comment on my experience it would be great.
May all beings be happy.