Thank you Modus Ponens, it is very late to this answer but i think still works, i have been taking 1/2 capsule and before i was taking like 4 medicines, then 3, 2, 1 and now 1/2. I feel i can leave it like the others medicines, but is still uncertain.
Yesterday in the party of new year i had to go with my family to a house to celebrate new year, it was good until my sister disrespectufully mistreat me and i became angry, how can she treat me like that if i had been virtous, practising and advancing very fast? i became angry, i couldnt resist it, and it became worst and worst when my father told me to enter the house but i wanted to be alone, i didnt saw any problem i thought he was exaggerating and it became a big fight haha, in the party, i was forced to be there but i didnt wanted, i was first in a room alone but it became unbeareable when all of them came to give me the welcome of new year, i just wanted to be alone, such a ridiculous thing.
All of this made me think of renouncing my family and searching for my own independence because my father had been very hostile to me even if i help him in work and been virtous. It was until this that i had such toughts of release. I tought he wont be able to forgive me after that, and now i am just thinking in leaving home, alone and looking for a work, but i still find it difficult because i am still little sick and have to go to school. I think even if i am practising sila he wont change.
I had been practising metta and a lot of good practices, but it is nonsense to me right now the response i had found.
Thank you if someone here in the forum can advice me about what right attitude i have to take it would be very helpful.
I think karma is the first topic we should understand before starting in meditation.