Sad way to learn

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Sad way to learn

Postby Hoja » Wed Jul 29, 2009 8:53 pm

My wife asked me yesterday night to leave home. I've made many mistakes during my marriage she couldn't accept more. At this point she feels anger and hate towards me, and I've realized what' a fool I've been. I love her and with my daugher are the most important persons in my life, but I don't know if someday we could be toghether as a couple again, or not.

I've learned how my thoughts and actions affects the others. I've learned the bennefits of metta and equanimity. I've learned that we should closely observe our feelings and emotions. And I've learned that even marriages and happy couples could be impermanent. Sadly, perhaps is was too late for the lesson, and she will never let me with her again.

I'm very, very sad.
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:01 pm

:cry: Sorry to hear the sad news. Maybe it will work itself out in time. If not, it is good you found the Dhamma to help you with the emotional drain this will take.

May you, your wife, and daughter be well, happy, and peaceful.
May no harm or troubles come to you.
May you face the inevitable problems and difficulties of life with metta, karuna, mudita, and upekkha.

:buddha2:
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby Cittasanto » Wed Jul 29, 2009 9:32 pm

Sorry to hear this,

I am in a relationship and terible at them, but I try!?!?????

maybe this is an oportunity to change for the better! maybe some time apart will do you both good and form a stronger more successful relationship?

I don't really know if me writing this will help you but I do sincerely hope you find the right path to travel that will bring you, your wife and daughter a truly happy future!

ALL the Best, and I hope you are bearing well

Manapa
This offering maybe right, or wrong, but it is one, the other, both, or neither!
With Metta
Upāsaka Cittasanto
Blog, - Some Suttas Translated, Ajahn Chah.
"Others will misconstrue reality due to their personal perspectives, doggedly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our own personal perspectives, nor doggedly holding onto them, but will discard them easily. This effacement shall be done."
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby Ben » Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:14 pm

Hi Hoja
I'm sorry for the loss of your relationship.
No doubt it is a painful time but I hope you are able to take some time to observe the reality that you are experiencing.
Remember:
sabbe dhamma anicca: all phenomena are impermanent
sabbe dhamma dukkha: all phenomena are unsatisfactory
sabbe dhamma anatta: all phenomena are not self.
Take care my friend, you will be in my metta.

Ben
"One cannot step twice into the same river, nor can one grasp any mortal substance in a stable condition, but it scatters and again gathers; it forms and dissolves, and approaches and departs."

- Hereclitus


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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby Hoja » Fri Jul 31, 2009 6:00 pm

Thanks The Dhamma, Manapa and Ben for your conforting words. It's nice to know that sadness is also impermanent.
Metta
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby cooran » Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:20 pm

Hello Hoja,

I'm sorry to hear of your unhappiness.
Make sure you have a supportive friend, group, or relative that you can see regularly.
Even look towards a new activity, sport or interest and meet new people.
I hope the laws in your country protect your right to see your child frequently.

This too will pass, you WILL be happy again ~ but it often takes longer than we think to get over. Hang in there.

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby adosa » Fri Jul 31, 2009 9:52 pm

Hi Hoja,

I'm sorry to hear this but I hope you're doing okay. Wishing you peace and serenity. I promise you will recover. It just takes time. I also hope you can find some relief from the teachings of the Blessed One.


:namaste:

adosa
"To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one's mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas" - Dhammapada 183
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby Tex » Fri Jul 31, 2009 10:02 pm

Hang in there, friend. We've all been there. It passes, it always does.
"The serene and peaceful mind is the true epitome of human achievement."-- Ajahn Chah, Living Dhamma

"To reach beyond fear and danger we must sharpen and widen our vision. We have to pierce through the deceptions that lull us into a comfortable complacency, to take a straight look down into the depths of our existence, without turning away uneasily or running after distractions." -- Bhikkhu Bodhi
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Re: Sad way to learn

Postby Individual » Sat Aug 01, 2009 2:38 am

I wish you well. I hope you can work things out or that you at least become stronger and happier in the long run, regardless of what happens.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
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