purple planet wrote:good action makes merit but if you agree just cause you dont have the power to argue or refuse - there is no merit in that right?
Correct, it's just like if you give something because you think you will be a "bad person" if you don't give, and you later regret giving, unwholesome (akusala) mental kamma is created as you regret the action (even for an extremely brief moment).
When you start to dislike the person you are doing these "favors" for, because you decide they must be taking advantage of you, dosa will arise, so it is just a breeding ground for lots of akusala mental kamma to be made for you. Further, you are enabling their akusala tendencies of take advantage of others, helping them increase those tendencies. You are not doing them, nor yourself, any real favors.
As soon as you think there is an "I" that should make good kamma, you start accumulating all sorts of subtle, and not so subtle, akusala relative to the "good goal" of this "I". That is not detachment. When you do such actions motivated by that, there is no sati at those times, and no panna or understanding-- no detachment, instead you are attached, sometimes very strongly. We can have patience (even unwholesome patience), we can give dana and practice generosity, but unless they are motivated by wisdom, instead of ignorance, they are not parami leading to enlightenment (parami must be done with wisdom
, not with akusala, such as dosa - which arises with moha). That just heaps up akusala and "creates samsara".
Don't fall into the trap of believing there is this "person" who has to attain on the path. It is very easy to (and I have in the past). At those moments there is no sati of our akusala motivations for "good". Sometimes it's conceit ("I want to be a good Buddhist, or a good person, etc. etc.), sometimes it is aversion ("If I don't do this I'll make bad kamma and suffer a bad result", or "If I don't do this people won't like me", etc. etc.)
Instead, the Buddha implored us to have sati...
Do we have sati if we don't know when we are creating akusala through our akusala motivations? Is there really any development of the path at those times?