Sad way to learn

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Hoja
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Sad way to learn

Post by Hoja »

My wife asked me yesterday night to leave home. I've made many mistakes during my marriage she couldn't accept more. At this point she feels anger and hate towards me, and I've realized what' a fool I've been. I love her and with my daugher are the most important persons in my life, but I don't know if someday we could be toghether as a couple again, or not.

I've learned how my thoughts and actions affects the others. I've learned the bennefits of metta and equanimity. I've learned that we should closely observe our feelings and emotions. And I've learned that even marriages and happy couples could be impermanent. Sadly, perhaps is was too late for the lesson, and she will never let me with her again.

I'm very, very sad.
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DNS
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by DNS »

:cry: Sorry to hear the sad news. Maybe it will work itself out in time. If not, it is good you found the Dhamma to help you with the emotional drain this will take.

May you, your wife, and daughter be well, happy, and peaceful.
May no harm or troubles come to you.
May you face the inevitable problems and difficulties of life with metta, karuna, mudita, and upekkha.

:buddha2:
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Cittasanto
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by Cittasanto »

Sorry to hear this,

I am in a relationship and terible at them, but I try!?!?????

maybe this is an oportunity to change for the better! maybe some time apart will do you both good and form a stronger more successful relationship?

I don't really know if me writing this will help you but I do sincerely hope you find the right path to travel that will bring you, your wife and daughter a truly happy future!

ALL the Best, and I hope you are bearing well

Manapa
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
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Ben
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by Ben »

Hi Hoja
I'm sorry for the loss of your relationship.
No doubt it is a painful time but I hope you are able to take some time to observe the reality that you are experiencing.
Remember:
sabbe dhamma anicca: all phenomena are impermanent
sabbe dhamma dukkha: all phenomena are unsatisfactory
sabbe dhamma anatta: all phenomena are not self.
Take care my friend, you will be in my metta.

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

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Hoja
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by Hoja »

Thanks The Dhamma, Manapa and Ben for your conforting words. It's nice to know that sadness is also impermanent.
Metta
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cooran
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by cooran »

Hello Hoja,

I'm sorry to hear of your unhappiness.
Make sure you have a supportive friend, group, or relative that you can see regularly.
Even look towards a new activity, sport or interest and meet new people.
I hope the laws in your country protect your right to see your child frequently.

This too will pass, you WILL be happy again ~ but it often takes longer than we think to get over. Hang in there.

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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adosa
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by adosa »

Hi Hoja,

I'm sorry to hear this but I hope you're doing okay. Wishing you peace and serenity. I promise you will recover. It just takes time. I also hope you can find some relief from the teachings of the Blessed One.


:namaste:

adosa
"To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one's mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas" - Dhammapada 183
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Tex
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by Tex »

Hang in there, friend. We've all been there. It passes, it always does.
"To reach beyond fear and danger we must sharpen and widen our vision. We have to pierce through the deceptions that lull us into a comfortable complacency, to take a straight look down into the depths of our existence, without turning away uneasily or running after distractions." -- Bhikkhu Bodhi

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man." -- Heraclitus
Individual
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Re: Sad way to learn

Post by Individual »

I wish you well. I hope you can work things out or that you at least become stronger and happier in the long run, regardless of what happens.
The best things in life aren't things.

The Diamond Sutra
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