PsychedelicSunSet wrote:I have a question regarding the fourth precept, specifically white lies. Are white lies viewed as breaking the fourth precept? For instance, hypothetically say my friend writes a song he's very proud of, and he plays it for me and asks me what I think. Say this song is (in my opinion) truly horrendous. Would it be better to tell him that I enjoyed it, so as to not cause him sadness, or should I tell him that I really hated it, risking hurting his feelings.
my brainstormin on this:
- This question regularly comes up and the usual answers are: Yes, whitelies are lies. Ask any Buddhist teacher, they all tell the same.
- A lie does not become the truth because someones feeling are supposed to be "protected". It stays a lie.
- Fully thought through, no one has any benefit of not telling the truth.
- Best and most helpful friends to me
are those telling the truth. To grow spiritually, I need their honesty.
- I myself am responsible for how I do react to my feelings. If someone tells me an inconvenient truth - hey, it's up to me how to react to that. I may be a bit disappointed (because things ain't the way I want them to be), but, like all feelings, that's temporarily only. Next to that, how could I learn how unpleasant feelings work (and thus overcome them), if they wouldn't be there.