Ben wrote:I hope this helps.
The Five Mental Hindrances and Their Conquest Selected Texts from the Pali Canon and the Commentaries
compiled and translated by Nyanaponika Thera
I always had to be special. It had to be Phra
Sumedho’s food and then the rest. That was hard to
deal with — to be a foreigner, a “Phra Farang”, and
then to have a special diet and special privileges.
That was hard for me to impose on the group, as I was
helping to pass out the food, I’d get very possessive.
The vegetable dishes they did have, I felt I had a right
to have a lot of, because the other monks were eating
all the fish, chicken and things like that. I found myself
aiming for the vegetarian dishes first so that I could
pass them out according to my own needs. It brought
up a really childish tendency in me. Then one day
another monk saw me doing this, so he grabbed the
vegetarian dish first and only gave me a little spoonful.
I was so angry when I saw that. I took this fermented
fish sauce, this really strong stuff and when I went past
his bowl, I splattered it all over his food! Fortunately,
we were forbidden to hit each other. This is an
absolute necessity for men — to have rules against
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