Contemplating old age sickness and death

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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cooran
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Re: Contemplating old age sickness and death

Post by cooran »

pink_trike wrote:I agree with Chris, life and one's bathroom mirror is the very best teacher when it comes to old age, sickness, and death - if we're awake to these experiences.

Spitting blood
Clears up reality
And dream alike

- Sunao, Zen monk. Died 1926

Late this last Sunday, I had a major heart attack. For about 45 minutes I was a blink from death. Paramedics came and rushed me to hospital, threw me on a stainless steel table in an icy cold room, poured liquid anesthesia on the groin, cut a hole into the artery, moved a cable up the artery to the heart, dislodged the blockage, inserted a NASA quality tiny sewer pipe in the vein, removed the cable, slapped a bandage on the hole, and stuck the body in bed to recover...and then cleaned the table for the next person, and the next, and the next, and the next... The actual procedure took less than 15 minutes. Observing the massive chest pains and the intense, amazing sensations that were arising as a result of the mechanical manipulations taking place inside the heart cleared away yet another layer of confusion. Looking at my face in the mirror a day later cleared up even more confusion. Taking the 6 drugs daily clears away even more.

We don't need a teacher to contemplate aging, sickness, and death. We only need to see what's right in front of, in us, and all around us. Point at anything that isn't aging and degenerating. At any age, if we look behind our deluded self-cherishing of youth and our veneration of regeneration, we see our denied but nevertheless active shadow...aging and degeneration. We have a choice in every single moment - recognize that each inhale may be the last...or delude ourselves with constant reaching and becoming. This choice is our birth right. Choose carefully. :tongue:
Hello Pink,

Thank you for sharing this. My very best wishes for your complete recovery. I found your post very comforting and accurate.

A strange thing happened when I was sitting with my mother after she was transferred to a ward - she has been diagnosed with pneumonia and further tests are being carried out to see if there is further bacterial infection. While I was sitting there, I experienced tachycardia and the nurses popped me into a wheel chair and had me taken down to the Emergency Department. Ecg, x-ray, blood tests were done Only the ecg was showing anything out of the ordinary. I was made an in-patient on a different floor to my mothers' ward and had tubes in my veins (ouch!) and all the patches for an ecg and the dangly wires still attached to me. It is really horrible to be in a hospital without a change of undies, wearing a hospital gown open down the back, no hair brush or make-up, no toothbrush/toothpaste. :( I saw a cardiologist the next morning and was discharged. I am due for a 'procedure' next Thursday. All I know is I have Dual A-V Nodal Pathways, possibly from birth, now with Paroxysmal SupraventricularTachycardia and it will be treated by radiofrequency catheter ablation. :rolleye: I am due to be readmitted on Thursday at 10.00 a.m. I'm not sure if I will be in overnight or just for the day. It is done under local anasthetic - catheter fed up through the groin. Yikes! :cry: I don't like needles. :tantrum:
But seriously, Pink ... to come back to Dhamma Wheel and read your post gave me a great sense of "fellow feeling". Thanks again.
And a big thank-you for all the good wishes from members. by post and esp. by skype call. Appreciated.


metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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pink_trike
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Re: Contemplating old age sickness and death

Post by pink_trike »

tiltbillings wrote: Geez. picky, picky, picky. Let me rephrase: when doing this sort of practice one should have a teacher, given the potential danger in them.
Hi Tilt,

The vast majority of buddhist practitioners have no regular direct access to teachers in our modern world, or perhaps they get to meet them once every year or three. Decades ago in the U.S. many of us were very fortunate to have consistent direct access to our teachers, but it's unrealistic to assume that's true now, except for a minority of (often economically-privileged) practitioners who have their teachers on speed dial.

I was introduced to both aging/sickness/dying practice and corpse meditation three decades ago by my teacher's casual suggest - and apparently no further discussion was required. I've been doing both consistently since then as a lifetime practice commitment, with acknowledgement by all of my subsequent teachers in three traditions. To suggest that one "should" have a teacher just to beneficially contemplate old age, sickness, and death strikes me as infantilizing - and it contributes to the mystification of these very natural human experiences by placing them into the hands of "experts".

The practitioner of corpse meditation would benefit by making themselves aware of potential "side effects" of this strong and effective medicine so that if negative mind states arise they know to seek out a teacher or a place like Dhamma Wheel where they can discuss these reactions, but aging/sickness/death practices are beneficial for all practitioners, imo.
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Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

---

Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.
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pink_trike
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Re: Contemplating old age sickness and death

Post by pink_trike »

Chris wrote:
Hello Pink,

Thank you for sharing this. My very best wishes for your complete recovery. I found your post very comforting and accurate.

A strange thing happened when I was sitting with my mother after she was transferred to a ward - she has been diagnosed with pneumonia and further tests are being carried out to see if there is further bacterial infection. While I was sitting there, I experienced tachycardia and the nurses popped me into a wheel chair and had me taken down to the Emergency Department. Ecg, x-ray, blood tests were done Only the ecg was showing anything out of the ordinary. I was made an in-patient on a different floor to my mothers' ward and had tubes in my veins (ouch!) and all the patches for an ecg and the dangly wires still attached to me. It is really horrible to be in a hospital without a change of undies, wearing a hospital gown open down the back, no hair brush or make-up, no toothbrush/toothpaste. :( I saw a cardiologist the next morning and was discharged. I am due for a 'procedure' next Thursday. All I know is I have Dual A-V Nodal Pathways, possibly from birth, now with Paroxysmal SupraventricularTachycardia and it will be treated by radiofrequency catheter ablation. :rolleye: I am due to be readmitted on Thursday at 10.00 a.m. I'm not sure if I will be in overnight or just for the day. It is done under local anasthetic - catheter fed up through the groin. Yikes! :cry: I don't like needles. :tantrum:
But seriously, Pink ... to come back to Dhamma Wheel and read your post gave me a great sense of "fellow feeling". Thanks again.
And a big thank-you for all the good wishes from members. by post and esp. by skype call. Appreciated.

metta
Chris
Hi Chris,

Both you and your mom are in my thoughts...

I find it helpful when walking through the doors of a hospital to privately regard it as a temple while I'm there. I regard paramedics, nurses, doctors, and support folks as modeling the Dharma, each in their own way...by modeling aware or clouded behavior and mind states. I regard their behavior/mind states/treatment as teachings and regard the other patients, each in their own unfortunate vignette, as embodied apparitions of wisdom that I'm fortunate to encounter. I regard the terrible food, noise, cold, wires, beeping, endless parade of nurses at all hours of the day and night as a practice in renunciation. I find this flip in perception from "a place I don't really want to be" to a place that is full of potential clarity and benefit to be very useful and it colors my relationship beneficially with whatever and whoever I encounter while there - and, best of all, it provides a great stage for the mind to reveal it's antics for what they really are. Just another practice retreat...
Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

---

Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.
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cooran
Posts: 8503
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 pm
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: Contemplating old age sickness and death

Post by cooran »

Hello Pink, all,

It was my day to provide food Dana for the two monks at Dhammagiri. I asked them to dedicate the merits to my mother, and Bhante Dhammasiha had heard about my upcoming experience on this coming Thursday. That is also the Uposatha Day in our Tradition and he said that he and Bhante Paramito will chant the Bojjhangas while holding me in their minds.
When I told him it would be a local anasthetic and that, being the coward I am, I think I would have preferred a general anasthetic he spoke about how, even if an experience is unpleasant, it is much better for a practitioner to be awake and mindful while it happens. I can see his point and will try to keep the Dhamma in mind at the time.

Glad of your advice Pink.

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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