J0rrit wrote:Hello there,
While meditating with full concentration on my breath (that is, on the mental 'knowing' what the breath does, breath awareness so not abdomen or nostril awareness) I reach a certain point where I am so focussed on the breath that I feel that I'm becoming absorpted with it. This gives a feeling that my head and my body are 'imploding' as I can feel that when I get through this all that will remain is the awareness of the breath, and I and my body will be gone of my consciousness. But I can't reach that. Something is holding me back. When nearly absorbing in the breath I get the feeling that my head and my body will be 'splashed' from the outside in, because I'm so fully focussed on the breath. Also my eyelids are squeezed and my mouth makes a lot of weird motions. Does someone recognize this ? My feeling is that sense desire is causing this. I hope someone can help me with this,
Thanks in advance,
greets and metta
I'm a bit out of practice at present (just getting back in the saddle recently), but as I recall, the closest I got to jhana (afaik) was when a variety of factors were present, such as a calm and relaxed attitude and environment to begin with, determination to renounce (the hindrances), making a sincere effort to abandon them in my heart (not just for the duration of the sitting, but in day-to-day life as well), not focussing just on the breath in isolated areas of the body but rather, being aware of this entire body (ie of flesh and bones) as a whole, breathing in, and out;
(and getting calm and relaxed with that), not thinking it's a big deal but rather, thinking "jhana is for the purpose of insight, don't get too excited when you get close, it's not the end of the Path, but only a means..." Basically, not making jhana the goal, not being hung up on how pleasant it might or might not be, because if you do, that obsession tends to generate thoughts such as "oh that felt good" or "ah I might be getting close now" which actually distract one from entering into it (and now I had better take my own advice and give all of this another go myself).
Have expectations? Don't.
Follow instructions of your teacher(s) and make a sincere effort? Do.
There's my two cents' worth.