Hello Dhamma Wheel!
I've known about you as a community for a long time, but for some reason haven't gotten around to posting until now. That's how the Dhamma has been for me... I'm always putting it off, eschewing what I know deep down is truly important, so that I can spend one more day or year pushing my career, my ambitions, my art, or whatever other distractions Mara dangles in front of me.
Two years ago, I hit my head hard while longboarding, and it resulted in a cascade of defeats, struggles, and self-destructiveness in my life. I have toiled over whether the injury's effects have left me unable to achieve spiritual peace. These self-doubts, when I approach them calmly with insight, seem to go away rather quickly when I realize that our mind is, in fact, constantly in flux: dulled by substances, ignited by insights, weathered by age... to imagine my mind like a broken mirror is erroneous. The mind is more like a mud figure, never quite reified, getting wetter and drier, moulding into different forms.
Now I find my life much more settled. I have entered one of those periods of my life, like I have before, where something deep inside of me begins to still, and I subtly emerge onto this plane of consciousness where I'm aware of how insane samsara's psychology really is. All of this striving towards self-realization is, in fact, a distraction from reality. Like a beautiful-sounding creature, deep in the forest, something calls to me...
And thus I'm here greeting you. I hope that I am here to stay.