My quest to speak clearly?

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My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:01 pm

Its like I've got this brilliant clear natural voice but I lose it and fall into this really unclear voice that I have no confidence in at all. It's like I know I can speak really easily and clearly without strain or difficulty. However I practically always have spoken in this voice that doesn't feel right, nobody understands me 30% of the time and feels really forced and pressured.

When I'm speaking like this, it makes me feel so self-conscious and when people ask me to repeat myself I get angry inside because it takes so much effort speaking like this. It shouldn't feel that way though, I should be able to project my voice naturally whilst doing handstands and push ups, you get the point.

An amazing thing happened not so long ago, I recorded myself on many occasions because I found it helped with my self-development as a person. It ended up being just something to do for fun and maybe a reassurance, safety blanket I could use when I felt really bad or needed to get something off my mind. Well I was recording once and I was speaking into the camera and I remember saying: Wow I spend so much time thinking about how my voice sounds, adjusting it consciously all the time so I don't sound like this or that. So I decided to "just speak" and let it out how I wanted too not how I thought everyone else wanted to hear me sound or how I would sound the best. I just spoke in a way which felt pleasurable for me, in a way this lead me to being able to reduce my self-consciousness on my voice by at least 70% and therefore free up so much mental energy and making me super energetic.

For the next 3 days I was over the moon with happiness, at the time I was living in a mess on a military base. I suffered serious anxiety and I think majority of it was because I was so inside my head and self conscious because of my voice issue. Which let me say is so hard to explain to people, people just don't understand what I'm trying to tell them and I think its because I find it hard to explain to my self. All I know is I've got a voice like everybody else that shouldn't be difficult to use, it should be easy and fun. Anyway back on the 3 days, I was so confident, I was speaking without thinking about how I sounded, I just knew I sounded great now anyway that was the irony, I sounded a MILLION times better when I stopped trying to sound perfect or come across a certain way. Most importantly I was speaking at ease, it was pleasureable to speak and it was CLEAR, crystal clear. I was just getting on with my days with so much more ease and confidence, I was speaking much more, asking questions, not being afraid to fail in anything I did, just being my self.

Then something happened, I had a mental issue which concerns certain intrusive thoughts (OCD) but I don't want to talk about that. To say it stopped my progress full on is an understatement, anyway these thoughts completely blew me of my road of progress. I'm now at a stage where the thoughts no longer bother me to such an extreme extent that I was afraid to speak, I know much more about how to deal with OCD thoughts of the nature I was having.

So, its funny because I still have the recordings of when I went from my unclear voice I'd been using for so many years to a dramatic and amazing switch to this natural voice I like to call it. So I tried looking back at them and trying to understand how I made the switch but I really am not 100 percent sure how on earth I did it. All I know is its not just in my mind and I can speak clearly and I just think I don't, I know there is a MASSIVE difference between my unclear and naturally clear voice.

I'm going to carry on searching for the answer again but I decided to post this on this forum because I think the Buddhist community are very wise to say the very least. Maybe somebody can relate or understand this in a helpful way, I would love any comment from you guys and hope somebody can give me some advice and their opinion on this.

Am I thinking too much about how I sound, should I drop all this conscious effort to have this natural voice back at my vocals? I know that at the moment I'm afraid to speak or leave the house at times because I have such a low confidence in my voice, speaking on the phone and conversing with people in general causes major anxiety. Its like living without a voice, sure people can hear me if I raise my voice (which is like shouting to my vocal chords) or repeat myself 2-5 times but the mental energy and the self-consciousness and avoidance of saying anything at all this causes is not a life I want to live, my self esteem just hits bottom and I need to find my voice again that is there just waiting to be used.

EDIT: Something that's drove me insane since childhood was that I went to speech therapy as a child and would often get comments in school about not being understood or friendly banter about how I couldn't pronounce certain words or had a lisp. It made me really self conscious with my voice and by the time I hit High School and was introduced to 200 people I didn't know, shyness rapidly hit me turning into daily anxiety by the time I went into college. Yes I think far too much conscious concentration is focused on my voice.
Last edited by JDW on Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby mikenz66 » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:29 pm

Hi JDW,

I'm not clear about your question. Are you asking how Buddhism could help your condition, or asking for general advice?

Best Wishes
Mike
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby SarathW » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:41 pm

King George VI had Stuttering problem but he overcome his problems and became a great king!
Some times your weakness could be your greatest asset.
There is good movie called Kings Speech. Please watch that.
This is the footage of the real speech.
:)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1TubkzxPFY
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby Aloka » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:54 pm

Hi JDW,

As well as speech problems, you've mentioned having major anxiety, as well as OCD and lack of self-esteem. My advice to you would be to speak to a health professional about your difficulties because Its possible that you might need therapy or counselling to help you with your difficulties.

Wishing you all the best ,

Aloka
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby Modus.Ponens » Thu Jan 09, 2014 2:20 am

Hello JDW

First of all, see a psychologist and a psychiatrist. That level of suffering has to be dealt with the help of people whose expertise is to help people with mental suffering.

If you have that part covered I can share some of my experience that may apply to you. I've dealt with mental health problems all my adult life. I'm much better now. I have learned some things along the way.
I've learned to deal with my problems mainly with two strategies. One of them is to do metta for myself. Metta means loving kindness. It is a form of meditation where you arouse feelings of loving kindness (either to your self, or to a dear relative, etc.). A good guide can be found here: http://www.buddhanet.net/metta_b.htm . This is very important. Low self esteem problems can be handled very skilfuly with loving kindness towards yourself.
The other strategy is by practicing mindfulness. You have to be relatively stable to practice either of the forms of meditation. And even then you should aproach it gradualy. But cuting to the chase, your goal is to clearly comprehend that the fear you feel is unjustified. What I mean is that you attribute more importance to the fear you have, than the importance it actualy has. Fear has a function, from the evolution point of view. It enables you to avoid risks that might get you injured or killed. But we are humans. Independent humans in a civilised society. Fear has almost no function anymore. It's an unjustified emotion. It only makes you suffer because you think it's justified. You think it's a valid emotion that you should care about. That you should act acording to that fear. In reality, that's not true.
The Buddha explained that the cause of suffering is attachment, aversion and ignorance. Fear is a form of aversion. Ask yourself: have you ever really benefited from the fear you have? Meaning: you obviously prefer not to feel pain, or to get sick. But you can act to do that without fear. Fear is useless. Its importance is completely unjustified. Have you ever benefited from fear in a way that you wouldn't just with the preference for well being, that is natural to all humans? How much suffering has fear brought you? I bet a gigantic amount. How much happiness? I doubt there's any. The advantage of trying to see this for yourself far outweighs the disadvantages.
Regarding your voice. I heard a teaching, not too long ago, by the great monk Ajahn Chah. When people would go for him to ask for help with their suffering he would often reply: "what are you attached to?" That's what it boils down to. You had a taste of what it's like for you to speak with a clear voice. It must have felt very, very good. Now that you don't seem to be able to do it, you are suffering. You are attached to speaking with a clear voice. It's perfectly understandable that you feel that way. But the attachment to that experience will only lead to suffering. It doesn't mean that you lose preference for speaking with a clear voice. It just means that attachment is not helping you feel better. Just let go of that attachment as if you were relaxing a muscle.

EDIT: I forgot to add something important. I don't mean to say that you should not feel fear. You do, and you will, feel fear. What I mean is that, if you understand that that emotion is completely blown out of proportion, that you give much more importance than it really has, then you will feel fear, but in a very different way. It reminds me of a story told by a tibetan master once: he was talking about how a group of tibetan refugees went to the movies for the first time. They had never, ever seen any TV before. So, for example, when it started to rain in the movie, they tried to protect themselves from the rain. He compared this behaviour with our human behaviour towards experience. Not to get technical, people attribute importance to emotions and views that they don't really have. And what has been my understanding of this analogy so far is that I now feel fear, but I don't care much. It's a sensation in the body. An unpleasant one. But it's no longer debilitating.

I hope this helps.

Again, this has to be done while being followed by mental health professionals.

Be well.
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Thu Jan 09, 2014 4:52 pm

Modus.Ponens wrote:Hello JDW

Regarding your voice. I heard a teaching, not too long ago, by the great monk Ajahn Chah. When people would go for him to ask for help with their suffering he would often reply: "what are you attached to?" That's what it boils down to. You had a taste of what it's like for you to speak with a clear voice. It must have felt very, very good. Now that you don't seem to be able to do it, you are suffering. You are attached to speaking with a clear voice. It's perfectly understandable that you feel that way. But the attachment to that experience will only lead to suffering. It doesn't mean that you lose preference for speaking with a clear voice. It just means that attachment is not helping you feel better. Just let go of that attachment as if you were relaxing a muscle.


Hi Modus, I'm really fascinated by your advice regarding my voice. In some ways I guess thats what gave me that switch in the effectiveness of my voice, in fact I'm certain. I gave away my attachment to my voice and just let it be what it is, I didn't have a name to it until your post which can I say it was all very helpful. I'm going to work on detachment now not only with my voice but with other problems I've found I'm far too attached too. I will definitely update you on my progress with that. In regards to detachment, do you know any strong practices to increase our abilities to detach ourselves from external and internal issues? I would love to know of any books that are primarily focused on the subject of detachment and advice regarding it. Thank you very much Modus.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Thu Jan 09, 2014 4:58 pm

Aloka wrote:Hi JDW,

As well as speech problems, you've mentioned having major anxiety, as well as OCD and lack of self-esteem. My advice to you would be to speak to a health professional about your difficulties because Its possible that you might need therapy or counselling to help you with your difficulties.

Wishing you all the best ,

Aloka


Thank you Aloka, I'm currently in a waiting list to get therapy/counseling, I've told my GP. I honestly would love any input of your own opinion and advice on this topic.

SarathW wrote:King George VI had Stuttering problem but he overcome his problems and became a great king!
Some times your weakness could be your greatest asset.
There is good movie called Kings Speech. Please watch that.
This is the footage of the real speech.
:)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1TubkzxPFY


Hi Sarath, I loved The Kings Speech and funnily enough I've recently purchased it with special features which is fantastic. I don't have a stuttering problem but I could really see and understand his struggles.

mikenz66 wrote:Hi JDW,

I'm not clear about your question. Are you asking how Buddhism could help your condition, or asking for general advice?

Best Wishes
Mike


Hi Mike, I'm asking for advice in general, Buddhism is a bonus.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby Mkoll » Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:36 pm

JDW wrote:I'm asking for advice in general, Buddhism is a bonus.


Hi JDW,

Some random thoughts and tips from someone who has experienced chronic anxiety as well, you'll take them as you will but I hope some help. My apologies if my tone comes across as abrasive. :tongue:

- Your perception of your voice is your perception of your voice. Each individual you meet will have a different perception. I may like dance music and you may hate it; we're hearing the same thing but we each have a different perception.

- There is no need to project an aura of confidence. In trying to sound confident, or trying to sound like anything***, you'll inevitably judge yourself as to whether you've succeeded based on perceptions of the other person's reactions. However, your perceptions can be unreliable especially when anxious. When anxious, you see a person's reaction and you make a snap judgement about what they thought of you. But their thought may have been different. And if you base your further actions on a false perception, it does no good.

- I dislike talking on the phone as well. If who you are talking to is more than an acquaintance, let them know that you'd rather talk in person. Otherwise, make the conversations as short as possible: just keep silent if the other person is not saying something that you can give a response to that will steer the call towards its demise. If you have some tact, which I imagine you do given your abundance of self-reflection, you can do this without being rude.

- We've all got problems that we dwell upon. While you're dwelling on how your voice sounds, the other person is dwelling upon something in their domain. Your worry about your voice is your worry about your voice.

***The one exception to this is trying to speak in the five wholesome ways taught by the Buddha in Majjhima Nikaya Sutta 21. When I try to speak in alignment with these ways, especially trying to be gentle in voice and kind in heart, I find that there is much less automatic judgement of how I sounded or was perceived by the other person, ie less anxiety.

5 ways others may speak to you or you may speak to others
1. timely or untimely
2. true or untrue
3. gentle or harsh
4. connected with good or with harm
5. spoken with a mind/heart of good will/amity or with inner hate

May you fare well.

:anjali:
Peace,
James
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby Modus.Ponens » Thu Jan 09, 2014 6:06 pm

JDW wrote:
Modus.Ponens wrote:Hello JDW

Regarding your voice. I heard a teaching, not too long ago, by the great monk Ajahn Chah. When people would go for him to ask for help with their suffering he would often reply: "what are you attached to?" That's what it boils down to. You had a taste of what it's like for you to speak with a clear voice. It must have felt very, very good. Now that you don't seem to be able to do it, you are suffering. You are attached to speaking with a clear voice. It's perfectly understandable that you feel that way. But the attachment to that experience will only lead to suffering. It doesn't mean that you lose preference for speaking with a clear voice. It just means that attachment is not helping you feel better. Just let go of that attachment as if you were relaxing a muscle.


Hi Modus, I'm really fascinated by your advice regarding my voice. In some ways I guess thats what gave me that switch in the effectiveness of my voice, in fact I'm certain. I gave away my attachment to my voice and just let it be what it is, I didn't have a name to it until your post which can I say it was all very helpful. I'm going to work on detachment now not only with my voice but with other problems I've found I'm far too attached too. I will definitely update you on my progress with that. In regards to detachment, do you know any strong practices to increase our abilities to detach ourselves from external and internal issues? I would love to know of any books that are primarily focused on the subject of detachment and advice regarding it. Thank you very much Modus.


I'm glad I could be of help. :)

I don't know much buddhist literature, so I hope knowledgeable people here will advise you on that.

Meanwhile, you can practice equanimous mindfulness. That means observing your experiences objectively. You pay atention to your body, or feelings, or mental states or ideas like a scientist would observe an experiment. Equanimity means that you (try to) observe your experience without attachment and aversion. You just try to let go of those tendencies which only bring suffering.

There are at least two tricky things here. One is that you are both the scientist and the experiment. You are not able to start observing with perfect equanimity, and one of the reasons why it's difficult, is because you are the very subject of your observation. The other tricky thing is confusing equanimity with indifference or even repression of emotions. You have to observe things exactly as they arise, without pushing the experience away or pulling it towards you. Just let it all be experienced.

But don't think this is not a bumpy road! This is serious and has to be done under the supervivion of mental health professionals. You will deal with a lot of difficult things inside you that you're not quite aware of, and that can destabilise you even more, if you don't have their help. Try to balance the time you spend doing metta meditation towards yourself and the time you spend doing equanimous mindfulness.

Be well. :)
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby Aloka » Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:05 pm

JDW wrote:Thank you Aloka, I'm currently in a waiting list to get therapy/counseling, I've told my GP. I honestly would love any input of your own opinion and advice on this topic.


Hello again JDW,

I don't feel qualified to give opinions and advice on this topic, other than to suggest you get professional help.

With metta,

Aloka
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:35 pm

Modus.Ponens wrote:I'm glad I could be of help. :)

I don't know much buddhist literature, so I hope knowledgeable people here will advise you on that.

Meanwhile, you can practice equanimous mindfulness. That means observing your experiences objectively. You pay atention to your body, or feelings, or mental states or ideas like a scientist would observe an experiment. Equanimity means that you (try to) observe your experience without attachment and aversion. You just try to let go of those tendencies which only bring suffering.

There are at least two tricky things here. One is that you are both the scientist and the experiment. You are not able to start observing with perfect equanimity, and one of the reasons why it's difficult, is because you are the very subject of your observation. The other tricky thing is confusing equanimity with indifference or even repression of emotions. You have to observe things exactly as they arise, without pushing the experience away or pulling it towards you. Just let it all be experienced.

But don't think this is not a bumpy road! This is serious and has to be done under the supervivion of mental health professionals. You will deal with a lot of difficult things inside you that you're not quite aware of, and that can destabilise you even more, if you don't have their help. Try to balance the time you spend doing metta meditation towards yourself and the time you spend doing equanimous mindfulness.

Be well. :)


I'll look into equanimous mindfulness, seems like something extremely difficult to master and persist with but I'll see what I can get from it, I would love to contact you in the near future and tell you how its going. I'll hopefully get in contact with a professional sooner rather than later. Meditation takes a lot out of somebody, its difficult to get into the habit of sitting down for even 10 minutes and not reacting to thoughts or procrastinating. I really would love to start doing it though, I know how beneficial it is, let me ask you though, when your doing metta mediation towards yourself are you creating positive thoughts about yourself? Does that not go down the think positive cliche that a lot of people recommend and is found in hundreds of self-help books, I wonder if simple mindfulness mediation of just observing your thoughts and not reacting to any would be better to start off on?

Thank you again, I'm struggling at the moment to really detach myself from my voice which is what I've been trying to do but I've found myself not speaking at all or every time I speak or say something even when I know I'm understood, I just put myself down and it still doesn't feel natural. I'm still over thinking every little detail of my voice, I guess bad habits die hard. I've always found the process of detachment is such a difficult one to understand, it's like the more you ask for help or advice on it the harder it gets, I guess its something you do and not think of doing in order to achieve it. Which is why I want to avoid asking you for advice on working on detachment in case I end up just asking a lot of questions about it for reassurance and not actually for the sole purpose of learning more about it. I really can't deny the amount of clarity your speech on how I might be going about "finding" my voice again.

I mean it really does make so much sense, I literately detached myself from how my voice sounded etc whilst recording my voice back then, it was like it happened in a heartbeat. I was able to let go and by doing so I immediately found the result of having a clear voice and my confidence grown 110% straight away, it was like 60% of my mental energy which was usually monitoring my voice in all aspects was lifted and thrown away, I was able to put my focus on more important things and with the knowledge that my voice sounded better than ever which is just amazing result. I was able to see the world clearly and understand how I personally can overcome shyness and why its played such a big role in my life. I tell you I always go back to my speech therapy days which started all this self conscious crap at a young age. Its just about learning that detachment and seeing and hearing the difference in my voice again, I know I am seconds away from "unlocking" it again and that it will always be mine. Its just about figuring things out.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:37 pm

Aloka wrote:
Hello again JDW,

I don't feel qualified to give opinions and advice on this topic, other than to suggest you get professional help.

With metta,

Aloka


Thanks Aloka I understand your position and reasoning on this but understand that I'm not fragile nor unwise to take advice or take something the wrong way and do something stupid.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:40 pm

Mkoll wrote:
Hi JDW,

Some random thoughts and tips from someone who has experienced chronic anxiety as well, you'll take them as you will but I hope some help. My apologies if my tone comes across as abrasive. :tongue:

- Your perception of your voice is your perception of your voice. Each individual you meet will have a different perception. I may like dance music and you may hate it; we're hearing the same thing but we each have a different perception.

- There is no need to project an aura of confidence. In trying to sound confident, or trying to sound like anything***, you'll inevitably judge yourself as to whether you've succeeded based on perceptions of the other person's reactions. However, your perceptions can be unreliable especially when anxious. When anxious, you see a person's reaction and you make a snap judgement about what they thought of you. But their thought may have been different. And if you base your further actions on a false perception, it does no good.

- I dislike talking on the phone as well. If who you are talking to is more than an acquaintance, let them know that you'd rather talk in person. Otherwise, make the conversations as short as possible: just keep silent if the other person is not saying something that you can give a response to that will steer the call towards its demise. If you have some tact, which I imagine you do given your abundance of self-reflection, you can do this without being rude.

- We've all got problems that we dwell upon. While you're dwelling on how your voice sounds, the other person is dwelling upon something in their domain. Your worry about your voice is your worry about your voice.

***The one exception to this is trying to speak in the five wholesome ways taught by the Buddha in Majjhima Nikaya Sutta 21. When I try to speak in alignment with these ways, especially trying to be gentle in voice and kind in heart, I find that there is much less automatic judgement of how I sounded or was perceived by the other person, ie less anxiety.

5 ways others may speak to you or you may speak to others
1. timely or untimely
2. true or untrue
3. gentle or harsh
4. connected with good or with harm
5. spoken with a mind/heart of good will/amity or with inner hate

May you fare well.

:anjali:



Really interesting points you made, they make a lot of sense and definitely need more pondering on by myself, I'll be going over what you said again and trying to see what I can take from your wisdom and put into my daily life and beliefs. The only problem I see with bringing in the 5 ways which was taught by a very wise man is would it not make you a walking talking self conscious falling all over the place trying to be something your not guy? I don't know, maybe you can implement this in daily life, I need to think about it and see how I could start living by those rules maybe.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby Modus.Ponens » Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:29 am

JDW wrote:I'll look into equanimous mindfulness, seems like something extremely difficult to master and persist with but I'll see what I can get from it, I would love to contact you in the near future and tell you how its going. I'll hopefully get in contact with a professional sooner rather than later. Meditation takes a lot out of somebody, its difficult to get into the habit of sitting down for even 10 minutes and not reacting to thoughts or procrastinating. I really would love to start doing it though, I know how beneficial it is, let me ask you though, when your doing metta mediation towards yourself are you creating positive thoughts about yourself? Does that not go down the think positive cliche that a lot of people recommend and is found in hundreds of self-help books, I wonder if simple mindfulness mediation of just observing your thoughts and not reacting to any would be better to start off on?

Thank you again, I'm struggling at the moment to really detach myself from my voice which is what I've been trying to do but I've found myself not speaking at all or every time I speak or say something even when I know I'm understood, I just put myself down and it still doesn't feel natural. I'm still over thinking every little detail of my voice, I guess bad habits die hard. I've always found the process of detachment is such a difficult one to understand, it's like the more you ask for help or advice on it the harder it gets, I guess its something you do and not think of doing in order to achieve it. Which is why I want to avoid asking you for advice on working on detachment in case I end up just asking a lot of questions about it for reassurance and not actually for the sole purpose of learning more about it. I really can't deny the amount of clarity your speech on how I might be going about "finding" my voice again.

I mean it really does make so much sense, I literately detached myself from how my voice sounded etc whilst recording my voice back then, it was like it happened in a heartbeat. I was able to let go and by doing so I immediately found the result of having a clear voice and my confidence grown 110% straight away, it was like 60% of my mental energy which was usually monitoring my voice in all aspects was lifted and thrown away, I was able to put my focus on more important things and with the knowledge that my voice sounded better than ever which is just amazing result. I was able to see the world clearly and understand how I personally can overcome shyness and why its played such a big role in my life. I tell you I always go back to my speech therapy days which started all this self conscious crap at a young age. Its just about learning that detachment and seeing and hearing the difference in my voice again, I know I am seconds away from "unlocking" it again and that it will always be mine. Its just about figuring things out.


I would prefer that you report your progress and ask for advice on the forum. I'm not nearly experienced enough to give advice that doesn't need to be excrutinated by other members. If you really need, though, you can send me a private message. I (we, very likely) would like to know if you eventualy manage to speak with a clear voice, as you want; and I would like to know if you manage to be happier.

Regarding metta, I probably don't do it in a traditional manner. But the purpose is not just to generate positive thoughts. It's to generate the feeling and attitude associated with those positive thoughts and consciously cultivating them. The positive thoughts are not the cliche kind, like "I am a strong person. I am a confident person. I can surpass any obstacle.", etc. The only assumption of this meditation is that you, like everyone in the whole world, has the right to be unconditionaly loved. It's like water: it's a fundamental right of any sentient being. Read the link about metta that I posted and just try it. See where it goes.
And the Blessed One addressed the bhikkhus, saying: "Behold now, bhikkhus, I exhort you: All compounded things are subject to vanish. Strive with earnestness!"
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:03 pm

Modus.Ponens wrote:
I would prefer that you report your progress and ask for advice on the forum. I'm not nearly experienced enough to give advice that doesn't need to be excrutinated by other members. If you really need, though, you can send me a private message. I (we, very likely) would like to know if you eventualy manage to speak with a clear voice, as you want; and I would like to know if you manage to be happier.

Regarding metta, I probably don't do it in a traditional manner. But the purpose is not just to generate positive thoughts. It's to generate the feeling and attitude associated with those positive thoughts and consciously cultivating them. The positive thoughts are not the cliche kind, like "I am a strong person. I am a confident person. I can surpass any obstacle.", etc. The only assumption of this meditation is that you, like everyone in the whole world, has the right to be unconditionaly loved. It's like water: it's a fundamental right of any sentient being. Read the link about metta that I posted and just try it. See where it goes.


Yep thats cool i'll do that, I've discovered some other things since this post which has been really enlightening, I've started a recording blog which I record my progress also starting from yesterday, I look forward to moving forward with self development and overcoming these demons.

You've cleared up the metta and I'll be sure to integrate that into my daily life.

Thanks for your support thus far.
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby binocular » Fri Jan 10, 2014 4:47 pm

I used to record my voice and tried this and that vocal practice to improve it. That didn't work, eventually, it just got me upset and made my throat hurt.
In my personal experience and insight, the core of the problem is that when I'm not sure what I want or what I'm supposed to do, then my voice goes awry.
When I have a to-do list, a schedule, when I have a clear idea what I'm supposed to be doing at a given time, then my speaking is clear and I feel good about it.

So, basically, being clear about what tasks I need to do and attending to those tasks takes care of a lot of other things (for me, that's both voice and posture).
binocular
 
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Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby JDW » Sat Jan 11, 2014 4:06 pm

binocular wrote:I used to record my voice and tried this and that vocal practice to improve it. That didn't work, eventually, it just got me upset and made my throat hurt.
In my personal experience and insight, the core of the problem is that when I'm not sure what I want or what I'm supposed to do, then my voice goes awry.
When I have a to-do list, a schedule, when I have a clear idea what I'm supposed to be doing at a given time, then my speaking is clear and I feel good about it.

So, basically, being clear about what tasks I need to do and attending to those tasks takes care of a lot of other things (for me, that's both voice and posture).


Hi binocular, I think you've really hit the nail on the head. I've been giving all this a lot of thought and your message relates very well to my past experiences. I've been living under the false illusion that I had an unclear voice but in actual fact it was just a late developer with some very minor faults early on in my life. This however lead me to being very unconfident in my later life which made it difficult to talk to people which I blamed on having an unclear voice. As you can see, its a horrible cycle to say the least that went on for years, now though I'm finally beginning to mature to the truth and idea that this horrible cycle has been at the root of my "unclear" voice.

The only bad thing is, this has lead me to developing many a mental health problems at the present day, many an irrational thoughts that have replaced many of my rational automatic thoughts. Just a whole can of mental crap and now I've got to face up to these fears I've developed and overcome this.
JDW
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 10:59 pm

Re: My quest to speak clearly?

Postby binocular » Mon Jan 13, 2014 10:20 am

I hope and wish you find a way that works best for you!
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