YOU CANNOT POST. OUR WEB HOSTING COMPANY DECIDED TO MOVE THE SERVER TO ANOTHER LOCATION. IN THE MEANTIME, YOU CAN VIEW THIS VERSION WHICH DOES NOT ALLOW POSTING AND WILL NOT SAVE ANYTHING YOU DO ONCE THE OTHER SERVER GOES ONLINE.

I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feelings - Dhamma Wheel

I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feelings

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
Diego
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:19 am

I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feelings

Postby Diego » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:12 am


User avatar
Mkoll
Posts: 6269
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:55 pm
Location: California

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Mkoll » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:28 am

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Diego
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:19 am

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Diego » Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:50 am

Mkoll:

Thanks for your answer!

I see your point... I have thinked a lot about that. One can think that between the time you make the decision to relapse and the time you orgasm , you can simply stop and go back to normal mode.

BUT, and I dont know if you experienced this as a drug addict, previous to all relapses there is a moment when your mind goes from rational to automatic. From that moment on, you dont care about the consequences of your actions, you just think about getting your fix. In that period of time, I am uncapable of noticing that my mind is in control and that what I am about to do is bad for me. I CANT STOP. The desire is so strong that it takes full control.

Of course, I´m not saying this trying to justify my behaviour.
I just think that if I could deal with my cravings in a better way since the first moment they arrive , when Im in a much more clear minded state, maybe I wouldnt have to put myself in that situation where Im in front of the computer watching porn. Trying to control yourself in that scenario, as an addict, is 1000000 times harder.

Thanks for the link, Ill give it a view!

User avatar
Mkoll
Posts: 6269
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:55 pm
Location: California

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Mkoll » Wed Jan 01, 2014 4:18 am

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa

santa100
Posts: 2673
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2011 10:55 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby santa100 » Wed Jan 01, 2014 4:57 am

Five practical strategies to respond to unskillful thoughts:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html

User avatar
Aloka
Posts: 5517
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Aloka » Wed Jan 01, 2014 7:43 am


User avatar
manas
Posts: 2251
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:04 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby manas » Wed Jan 01, 2014 8:08 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

User avatar
manas
Posts: 2251
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:04 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby manas » Wed Jan 01, 2014 9:09 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

User avatar
manas
Posts: 2251
Joined: Thu Jul 22, 2010 3:04 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby manas » Wed Jan 01, 2014 11:02 am

Hi Diego, all,

this wise monk offers a very helpful video, about porn and masturbation - I recommend it.



kind regards,
manas.
Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

chownah
Posts: 6161
Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:19 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby chownah » Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:09 pm

Addictions happen almost exclusively to people whose lives are empty......so they fill their life with the addiction.
It is all well and good to do what you can to directly confront the addiction but you might find it helpful to take a broader view of your life and try to see why there is nothing in your life to rival the importance of the addiction.
chownah

User avatar
waterchan
Posts: 699
Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 7:17 pm
Location: Kamaloka

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby waterchan » Thu Jan 02, 2014 12:10 am

Maybe the problem is not your addiction to porn. Maybe the problem is you are trying to "fight" the addiction.

I was addicted to pornography up to my early 20s. I became disenchanted with it when I later realised that the content of porn has very little to do with reality, that it's little more than fantasy. Now I watch pornography perhaps a couple of hours a month. I'm sure my meditation practice and dhamma study had something to do with it, but I didn't try to fight the addiction. The addiction just burned itself out. Now I find that most of the time, porn even turns me off.

You said you're trying to overcome an addiction, but I am not sure if there's anything that needs to be overcome. Just how bad is your addiction to porn? Is it so bad that you lose sleep at night watching porn? Is it a serious obstacle in your daily life? Do you, like, skip school or not go to work, just so that you can stay home and watch porn all day? Do you often feel the urge to commit sexual offences? Is it affecting your relationships with your family and loved ones? Are you sure you're not overreacting to your own addiction?

You cannot "meditate away" an addiction by force of will. If you sit down and meditate with the express aim of getting rid of your addiction, either the mind rebels against being controlled and you get nowhere, or you end up convincing yourself to feel a placebo, false sense of progress. Try something different. I am thinking what Ajahn Chah would say if he were reading this. Instead of restraining your mind to stay away from porn, try forcing it in the opposite direction. The next time you feel a craving for porn, put a clock on your desk, load up all your favourite porn sites and challenge yourself to watch porn for longer than usual! See if you can watch it for an hour, two hours, or three hours longer! See if you can break your own record for number of hours of porn watched in a day. See if you can break your own record for number of orgasms in a day.

Eventually the mind will get bored and it will want to do something else. But don't go away yet. Stop, and reflect for a moment. That is the time to ask yourself the crucial question: why am I getting bored of this now? Why don't I want to watch any more porn now??
quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur
(Anything in Latin sounds profound.)

Diego
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:19 am

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Diego » Thu Jan 02, 2014 3:42 pm


Diego
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:19 am

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Diego » Thu Jan 02, 2014 3:53 pm


User avatar
waterchan
Posts: 699
Joined: Fri May 07, 2010 7:17 pm
Location: Kamaloka

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby waterchan » Thu Jan 02, 2014 4:48 pm

quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur
(Anything in Latin sounds profound.)

User avatar
Mkoll
Posts: 6269
Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:55 pm
Location: California

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Mkoll » Thu Jan 02, 2014 11:32 pm

Dear Diego,

As waterchan said, don't beat yourself up. You're not harming any living beings.

And I would advise, don't conceptualize an elaborate story around it. It's easy to get lost in our fantasies about why things are how they are and end up believing they are true.

:anjali:
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa

Diego
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2014 2:19 am

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Diego » Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:25 pm

Thanks for every one of your kind respones!

I have found so much help in talking with you about this problem!

User avatar
Pondera
Posts: 573
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 10:02 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby Pondera » Sat Jan 04, 2014 12:33 am

I used to smoke. I've quit off and on about three times. The cravings with cigarettes are a lot like the craving for sexual release. They pop up quickly and before you have time to kick the impulse to the curb, you're already lighting up. To quit, i found first off that i need a good personal reason. For me its been "i don't want to be smoking three years down the road so that i can shorten my life and make my last days of life potentially horrible".

Once the excuse has solidified I say goodbye to my last smoke, butt out, and prepare to conquer the urges. When the first one comes, I ignore it. I say "forget it! I just quit". And that works for about three days. Then the addiction takes on a different appearance. Ignoring the urges doesn't work. I start noticing people smoking a million times more than I did when I was a smoker. The observations just keep coming. So I have to avoid temptation. I do this by reaffirming my reasons for quitting. I tell my self "I'm a week in. If I go back, I can look forward to at least another six months of smoking before I have enough will power to try quitting again." After two weeks, with smoking anyhow, it's clear sailing until three months. That's where I am now. I've been here before. The symptoms are a deep longing for the cigarette as if it will give life meaning again. It's like, if only I could have one smoke my life would have meaning again. But that's the withdrawal talking. That's your nicotinic receptors finally letting go of the last traces of the cigarette substance. That's the point where the body is finally going to start putting neurotransmitters from food - like B vitamins - in the place of - you know - large doses of pure nicotine. This will be depressing for another three months. I will form this big existential excuse about how poor off I am without smokes and "why can she smoke? Why can he smoke?" But also the benefits start appearing. You realize you're actually free from the habit - now your just addicted to the idea. And you can say to your self "my health is more important." That's with cigarettes.

So my challenge to you would be - okay - you KNOW that urge is going to come up sooner of later, at one point during the day or another. And you're going to be able to recognize it when it occurs. My challenge for you is to man up and turn away from it. What law of nature dictates (no pun intended) that if you have an urge to do something, you have to go through with it.

I won't sugar coat this. Unless you are able to physically restrain your self from the action, you'll keep doing it. Like quitting smoking, the first time you resist the urge is the most difficult one. You won't want to; you'll say "maybe next time"; right now isn't the best time, etc.

Maybe the next time you have an urge won't be the best time to quit. But keep building mental affirmations about the "drawbacks" of this action. (That is also one of the five methods in the link provided above about overcoming unprofitable thoughts). Build some really strong reasons - like - "would I do this in public?" Etc. Real, genuine reasons why you would be happier stopping. And then when you're ready tell your self it's the last time and the next time you have an urge recall your reasons, notice a certain mental distaste for the act, ignore the impulse and don't act out the urge.

Ignoring the impulse without a mental basis for a distaste for the act will be very difficult. That's my advise. Sorry about the lengthy post.

- Pondéra

villkorkarma
Posts: 506
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:43 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby villkorkarma » Sat Jan 18, 2014 1:48 am

I really liked this thread because I havent thought about the stress Is a konsvekvens of watching porn before. I Think that can change my behaviour. But how did that work (continue follower as do answers) Because I readed about stress and now can see that as a konsveksvens of stress? Or Is it now iaim stressed so. Anyway I readed this book from masters in heaven they said that you dont get happy of sex. So did they mean that the orgasms isnt good? Or does that matter If one has sex - you dont get any extra hapiness from that anyway? How does that work, If you have sex what feelings will you feel? what feelings will you feel when your orgasm come? How will you feel after your orgasm? Good? A Little while after that? Not so good as you were when you sat here and write?[/b] I Believe so. So what do we do with this knowledge?
Last edited by villkorkarma on Sat Jan 18, 2014 3:30 am, edited 3 times in total.
one suffer because one hasnt existed long : )

villkorkarma
Posts: 506
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:43 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby villkorkarma » Sat Jan 18, 2014 2:59 am

We must find something else to do, that makes us happy all the time because the feelings we get after having sex isnt good at all. So we can take Little hapiness from this time instead of gross hapiness and gross dissapointment. But how do we change our habbitpattern? We will find something else to do instead of having sex. But what?! Lay down on the floor and be happy about that? YESS! Its WORTH IT ITS MUCH BETTER! :anjali:
one suffer because one hasnt existed long : )

User avatar
cooran
Posts: 8502
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:32 pm
Location: Queensland, Australia

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Postby cooran » Sat Jan 18, 2014 3:22 am

Hello all,

This previous thread may be of assistance:

Porn free for 90 days
viewtopic.php?f=16&t=13168

Please note: this thread is 17 pages long. :tongue:

With metta,
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---


Return to “Connections to Other Paths”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 33 guests

Google Saffron, Theravada Search Engine