I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feelings

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths - what can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
Diego
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by Diego »

Thanks for every one of your kind respones!

I have found so much help in talking with you about this problem!
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Pondera
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by Pondera »

I used to smoke. I've quit off and on about three times. The cravings with cigarettes are a lot like the craving for sexual release. They pop up quickly and before you have time to kick the impulse to the curb, you're already lighting up. To quit, i found first off that i need a good personal reason. For me its been "i don't want to be smoking three years down the road so that i can shorten my life and make my last days of life potentially horrible".

Once the excuse has solidified I say goodbye to my last smoke, butt out, and prepare to conquer the urges. When the first one comes, I ignore it. I say "forget it! I just quit". And that works for about three days. Then the addiction takes on a different appearance. Ignoring the urges doesn't work. I start noticing people smoking a million times more than I did when I was a smoker. The observations just keep coming. So I have to avoid temptation. I do this by reaffirming my reasons for quitting. I tell my self "I'm a week in. If I go back, I can look forward to at least another six months of smoking before I have enough will power to try quitting again." After two weeks, with smoking anyhow, it's clear sailing until three months. That's where I am now. I've been here before. The symptoms are a deep longing for the cigarette as if it will give life meaning again. It's like, if only I could have one smoke my life would have meaning again. But that's the withdrawal talking. That's your nicotinic receptors finally letting go of the last traces of the cigarette substance. That's the point where the body is finally going to start putting neurotransmitters from food - like B vitamins - in the place of - you know - large doses of pure nicotine. This will be depressing for another three months. I will form this big existential excuse about how poor off I am without smokes and "why can she smoke? Why can he smoke?" But also the benefits start appearing. You realize you're actually free from the habit - now your just addicted to the idea. And you can say to your self "my health is more important." That's with cigarettes.

So my challenge to you would be - okay - you KNOW that urge is going to come up sooner of later, at one point during the day or another. And you're going to be able to recognize it when it occurs. My challenge for you is to man up and turn away from it. What law of nature dictates (no pun intended) that if you have an urge to do something, you have to go through with it.

I won't sugar coat this. Unless you are able to physically restrain your self from the action, you'll keep doing it. Like quitting smoking, the first time you resist the urge is the most difficult one. You won't want to; you'll say "maybe next time"; right now isn't the best time, etc.

Maybe the next time you have an urge won't be the best time to quit. But keep building mental affirmations about the "drawbacks" of this action. (That is also one of the five methods in the link provided above about overcoming unprofitable thoughts). Build some really strong reasons - like - "would I do this in public?" Etc. Real, genuine reasons why you would be happier stopping. And then when you're ready tell your self it's the last time and the next time you have an urge recall your reasons, notice a certain mental distaste for the act, ignore the impulse and don't act out the urge.

Ignoring the impulse without a mental basis for a distaste for the act will be very difficult. That's my advise. Sorry about the lengthy post.

- Pondéra
Like the three marks of conditioned existence, this world in itself is filthy, hostile, and crowded
villkorkarma
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by villkorkarma »

I really liked this thread because I havent thought about the stress Is a konsvekvens of watching porn before. I Think that can change my behaviour. But how did that work (continue follower as do answers) Because I readed about stress and now can see that as a konsveksvens of stress? Or Is it now iaim stressed so. Anyway I readed this book from masters in heaven they said that you dont get happy of sex. So did they mean that the orgasms isnt good? Or does that matter If one has sex - you dont get any extra hapiness from that anyway? How does that work, If you have sex what feelings will you feel? what feelings will you feel when your orgasm come? How will you feel after your orgasm? Good? A Little while after that? Not so good as you were when you sat here and write?[/b] I Believe so. So what do we do with this knowledge?
Last edited by villkorkarma on Sat Jan 18, 2014 3:30 am, edited 3 times in total.
one suffer because one hasnt existed long : )
villkorkarma
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by villkorkarma »

We must find something else to do, that makes us happy all the time because the feelings we get after having sex isnt good at all. So we can take Little hapiness from this time instead of gross hapiness and gross dissapointment. But how do we change our habbitpattern? We will find something else to do instead of having sex. But what?! Lay down on the floor and be happy about that? YESS! Its WORTH IT ITS MUCH BETTER! :anjali:
one suffer because one hasnt existed long : )
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cooran
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by cooran »

Hello all,

This previous thread may be of assistance:

Porn free for 90 days
http://www.dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=13168

Please note: this thread is 17 pages long. :tongue:

With metta,
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
villkorkarma
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by villkorkarma »

As speaking about this i Think i ve reached equanimity i sit and shake like a guy i know a Little bit.
one suffer because one hasnt existed long : )
villkorkarma
Posts: 506
Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:43 pm

Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by villkorkarma »

How do I block a website on internet? Is it good to to so
one suffer because one hasnt existed long : )
Babadhari
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Re: I´m trying to overcome an Addiction- Suppresion of Feeli

Post by Babadhari »

:focus:
Aflame with the fire of passion, the fire of aversion, the fire of delusion.
Aflame, with birth, aging & death, with sorrows, lamentations, pains, distresses, & despairs ......

Seeing thus, the disciple of the Noble One grows disenchanted. SN 35.28
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