Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

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Ben
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Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Ben » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:40 pm

LOS ANGELES—The International Mindfulness Foundation (IMF) today announced the discovery of a fifth noble truth, overturning the ancient Buddhist belief that there are only four. Speaking at a press conference at UCLA, IMF president Hugh Briss reported that researchers in the US and UK, using the latest quantum MRI technology, had scanned the brains of more than 100 select meditators to locate the fifth center of noble-truth activity in a part of the striatum normally associated with lust and desire, an area previous researchers had overlooked.

Follow the link to read the rest of the article

-- http://www.tricycle.com/blog/newsleek-f ... discovered
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.

Taṃ nadīhi vijānātha:
sobbhesu padaresu ca,
saṇantā yanti kusobbhā,
tuṇhīyanti mahodadhī.

Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR
Buddhist Life Stories of Australia
e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com

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Anagarika
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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Anagarika » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:47 pm

Ben wrote:
LOS ANGELES—The International Mindfulness Foundation (IMF) today announced the discovery of a fifth noble truth, overturning the ancient Buddhist belief that there are only four. Speaking at a press conference at UCLA, IMF president Hugh Briss reported that researchers in the US and UK, using the latest quantum MRI technology, had scanned the brains of more than 100 select meditators to locate the fifth center of noble-truth activity in a part of the striatum normally associated with lust and desire, an area previous researchers had overlooked.

Follow the link to read the rest of the article

-- http://www.tricycle.com/blog/newsleek-f ... discovered


..and the Sixth Noble Truth is that memberships in the IMF can be purchased with AMEX or VISA cards.

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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Anagarika » Wed Mar 19, 2014 9:53 pm

From the same author (PB Law), tongue firmly planted in cheek:

Buddhism Receives Coveted Pro-Business Rating

NEW YORK—A 20-year public relations campaign by major Buddhist leaders appears to have paid off, according to a business-climate poll released today by Business Week magazine. For the first time in the 50-year history of the poll, business leaders across the country have ranked Buddhism among the nation’s top ten business-friendly religions.

“This is a dramatic turn-around,” reported Gregory Hobbes, Business Week’s religion watchdog. “Only 25 years ago Buddhism was deep in the ‘actively unfriendly’ category, due to the chilly climate created by its emphasis on contentment, renunciation, and karmic responsibility. When Small is Beautiful was published in the early seventies, Buddhism’s rating hit an all-time low from which we thought it would never recover. But thanks to the concerted efforts of a new breed of enlightened Buddhist teacher-entrepreneurs, that image has been totally erased. Buddhism has shown convincingly that it is willing and able to do business on our terms.”

Among the factors cited by Hobbes to explain the turn-around:

•The tacit abandoning of any teachings that might question the values of the modern business corporation. “With a little help from the publishing industry, Buddhists have done a brilliant inside job on the doctrine of karmic consequences, for which they’ve been amply rewarded. And their willingness to waive copyright on the concept of nirvana for use in advertising was a savvy touch,” Hobbes commented.


•The recent spate of Buddhist books celebrating the workplace as the ideal context for a complete spiritual life. “This way,” Hobbes noted, “Buddhism doesn’t get in the way of the increasing demands that executives are forced to place on their employees in today’s competitive environment. Buddhist employees can feel that they’re practicing their religion at the same time they’re meeting their quarterly targets.”


•The Buddhist contribution to motivational literature and programs. “For years Buddhists have been teaching executives mental skills that not only increase their productivity but allow them to find fulfillment in their work, no matter how demeaning or mind-deadening the job. But what really pushed Buddhists into the top ten this year was their recent media blitz to promote faith as a verb without a specific object, a motivational self-confidence that can be pointed in any direction at all. This opens unlimited opportunities for personnel directors all over the country.”


•The cultivation of an ideal experience-consumer attitude. “With American business increasingly geared toward providing experiences rather than mere products to its customers, we need to teach the public how to enjoy experiences enough to keep them hooked but not so much as to get them sated. Buddhists, with their training in embracing each experience as it comes and then letting it go to embrace whatever experience comes next, have shown imaginative leadership in fostering the right experience-consumption mentality.”


•The business of Buddhism itself. “Not only has Buddhism been what you might call a Buddha-send to the publishing and advertising industries, the recent rash of five-star Club Meditation retreat centers springing up around the country has given the construction industry a real shot in the arm.”

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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby m0rl0ck » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:29 pm

Funny on SO many levels :rofl:
Thank you
"When you meditate, don't send your mind outside. Don't fasten onto any knowledge at all. Whatever knowledge you've gained from books or teachers, don't bring it in to complicate things. Cut away all preoccupations, and then as you meditate let all your knowledge come from what's going on in the mind. When the mind is quiet, you'll know it for yourself. But you have to keep meditating a lot. When the time comes for things to develop, they'll develop on their own. Whatever you know, have it come from your own mind.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai ... eleft.html

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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Anagarika » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:44 pm

m0rl0ck wrote:Funny on SO many levels :rofl:
Thank you


Thanks to Ben for the original post. I was captured by the Tricycle article, and then couldn't help but follow up. I gotta find out who this PB Law is...

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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby SDC » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:47 pm

Image

I feel you, Cliff.

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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby SDC » Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:51 pm

In all seriousness, is this serious, Ben. I'm actually at a loss for brains right now after reading that article and can't tell if it is real or not.


Will the dumb ever wear off?????

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David N. Snyder
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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:18 pm

IMF = International Mindfulness Foundation
IMF = International Monetary Fund

:thinking:

“The newly discovered fifth noble truth is that all other noble truths are subject to change without notice,” added Briss. “Obviously, this last truth is the noblest of the five.”


I am sure this is satire, but:
I don't think so. The unenlightened life is always suffering. Always has been, always will be.

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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby retrofuturist » Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:20 pm

Greetings,

David N. Snyder wrote:IMF = International Monetary Fund
IMF = .....


NSFW...


Metta,
Retro. :)
If you have asked me of the origination of unease, then I shall explain it to you in accordance with my understanding:
Whatever various forms of unease there are in the world, They originate founded in encumbering accumulation. (Pārāyanavagga)


Exalted in mind, just open and clearly aware, the recluse trained in the ways of the sages:
One who is such, calmed and ever mindful, He has no sorrows! -- Udana IV, 7


Dharma Wheel (Mahayana / Vajrayana forum) -- Open flower ~ Open book (blog)

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Ben
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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Ben » Wed Mar 19, 2014 11:31 pm

SDC wrote:In all seriousness, is this serious, Ben. I'm actually at a loss for brains right now after reading that article and can't tell if it is real or not.


Will the dumb ever wear off?????


SDC, you are soooo funny!
I like the article and the other Buddhasoup quoted. They are fine examples of (Buddhist) satire.
Kind regards,
Ben
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.

Taṃ nadīhi vijānātha:
sobbhesu padaresu ca,
saṇantā yanti kusobbhā,
tuṇhīyanti mahodadhī.

Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR
Buddhist Life Stories of Australia
e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com

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Anagarika
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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Anagarika » Thu Mar 20, 2014 12:15 am

Here's the author's website: http://www.buddhisthumor.org/index.html

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Kim OHara
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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Kim OHara » Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:59 am

m0rl0ck wrote:Funny on SO many levels :rofl:
Thank you

Yes - extremely well done!
:clap: :clap:

...from the "March 18, 2014 NewsLe(a)k" a fortnight before April Fool's Day to Prof Re(e)ductionist's disappearance.
But at the same time, there are points in it which are genuinely worth pondering. This, for instance ...
“... suffering, the first noble truth, is an inability to accept life as it is, while the second noble truth, the cause of suffering, is bad social conditioning. Research strongly suggests that the third noble truth is that suffering can’t be ended but it can be managed, while the fourth noble truth, the path for the management of suffering, corresponds to learning an attitude of mindful acceptance.”

... is really not as far from the original teaching as it looks at first.
:thinking:

:namaste:
Kim

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Ben
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Re: Fifth Noble Truth Discovered

Postby Ben » Thu Mar 20, 2014 7:15 am

That's right, Kim. Which makes it really good, in my opinion. It's both thought provoking and very funny.
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.

Taṃ nadīhi vijānātha:
sobbhesu padaresu ca,
saṇantā yanti kusobbhā,
tuṇhīyanti mahodadhī.

Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR
Buddhist Life Stories of Australia
e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com


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