Children and spiritual progress

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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Sati1
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Children and spiritual progress

Post by Sati1 »

Hello,

A slightly personal question: my wife and I are in our early thirties and currently childless, but she has recently become keen on having 1-2 children. I used to share her interest, but since getting on The Path about a year ago I feel like children would become a massive inhibitor of spiritual progress due to time & money stress. Does anybody have thoughts on the consequences that having children has for Path pursuit?

Thank you,
Sati1

----
"I do not perceive even one other thing, o monks, that when developed and cultivated entails such great happiness as the mind" (AN 1.30, transl. Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi)
"So this spiritual life, monks, does not have gain, honor, and renown for its benefit, or the attainment of moral discipline for its benefit, or the attainment of concentration for its benefit, or knowledge and vision for its benefit. But it is this unshakable liberation of mind that is the goal of this spiritual life, its heartwood, and its end," (MN 29, transl. Ven Bhikkhu Bodhi)
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Virgo
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by Virgo »

Entanglement.

Kevin
culaavuso
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by culaavuso »

Ven. Ajahn Fuang Jotiko gave a talk titled A Single Mind that discusses in detail children and marriage in relation to practice.

With children, AN 3.48: Pabbata Sutta may be inspirational. Suttas that reference relationships between parents and children such as SN 12.63: Puttamansa Sutta and Snp 1.8: Karaniya Metta Sutta may become more visceral in effect.
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bodom
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by bodom »

My 4 and 3 year old children have been my greatest teachers of the paramis of patience and loving kindness.

:anjali:
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.

- BB
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Jetavan
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by Jetavan »

A perfect chance to produce some little Buddhas.
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Sati1
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by Sati1 »

Thank you for the advice.
culaavuso wrote:Ven. Ajahn Fuang Jotiko gave a talk titled A Single Mind that discusses in detail children and marriage in relation to practice.
This text certainly provides a very strong message. I will continue to reflect on the topic.

Best,
Sati1

----
"I do not perceive even one other thing, o monks, that when developed and cultivated entails such great happiness as the mind" (AN 1.30, transl. Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi)
"So this spiritual life, monks, does not have gain, honor, and renown for its benefit, or the attainment of moral discipline for its benefit, or the attainment of concentration for its benefit, or knowledge and vision for its benefit. But it is this unshakable liberation of mind that is the goal of this spiritual life, its heartwood, and its end," (MN 29, transl. Ven Bhikkhu Bodhi)
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Cittasanto
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by Cittasanto »

stress should be known...

Just remember every moment is an opportunity to practice and see the truth of the Dhamma. Even the less conductive to practice situations we may encounter.
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
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binocular
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by binocular »

One way to think about this matter is to focus on the topic whether one is fit to be a parent.

Ideally, like the Buddha, a parent should be able to enlighten his or her children, as opposed to participate in the children wasting their lives. So if one realizes one isn't able to live up to that standard, then it is better not to have children.

This way one abstains from having children not out of aversion for the difficulties that having children tends to bring along, but out of a recognition of one's own incompetence to be an enlightened parent.
Hic Rhodus, hic salta!
Ananda26
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by Ananda26 »

Sati1 wrote:Hello,

A slightly personal question: my wife and I are in our early thirties and currently childless, but she has recently become keen on having 1-2 children. I used to share her interest, but since getting on The Path about a year ago I feel like children would become a massive inhibitor of spiritual progress due to time & money stress. Does anybody have thoughts on the consequences that having children has for Path pursuit?

Thank you,
In the United States we have big brother and big sister programs. One spends some time with like an orphan or someone in need of a relationship. Maybe it is a way of helping children and without getting locked into too much time and money stress.
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Zom
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Re: Children and spiritual progress

Post by Zom »

Does anybody have thoughts on the consequences that having children has for Path pursuit?
This depends on your current position on the Path -)

In someone's case (like that of prince Siddhattha Gotama) children would be an obstacle (Rahulas -). While it is okey for another person, less spiritually developed. So it is up to you to decide whether to create your own "full family" or not.

PS: My dhamma friend went to Thailand and became a monk. However, he saw that he was not spiritually developed enough to be a monk, so he disrobed and decided to make a family.
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