What's stopping you?

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What's stopping you?

Postby ihrjordan » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:05 am

My question is something iv'e been battling with myself for some time....What is stopping you from ordaining as a monk? Every now and then i go over this question in my head. As iv'e come to see in my meditation practice, everything in the material world is uncontrollable and unsatisfying so why go on? It seems as though I am subconsciously torturing myself to an extent just by staying. But the reasons i always come up with when asked the question is "I want to have kids one day" and "I don't look like a monk" (because I am black/white idk) and those are probably the only 2 things stopping me as of now....so what's stopping you from ordaining?
"Ko imaṃ pathaviṃ vicessati, yamalokañca imaṃ sadevakaṃ.
ko dhammapadaṃ sudesitaṃ, kusalo pupphamiva pacessati"
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Ben » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:26 am

I have a family.
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby daverupa » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:29 am

Lack of a large intestine.
    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.
- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Weakfocus » Tue Mar 18, 2014 9:49 am

ihrjordan wrote:so what's stopping you from ordaining?


The knowledge that ordaining as a monk will do absolutely nothing to accelerate my journey to nibbana.

I am very fortunate in that I already have favorable circumstances in my life which allow me to meditate and be mindful as much as I want, without worrying about money, job or any family/social obligations. I already have the opportunity to -theoretically- meditate for 18+ hours a day. Yet I can barely meditate for two hours a day and that is due to my own personal limitations. These limitations won't automagically disappear by me ordaining as a monk. Beyond a point you cannot force the issue and it takes time to ripen.

By becoming a monk I might have to face circumstances (eg sangha politics and duties) that might make it harder to cultivate devotion and meditate daily, and make my journey slower.

So I prefer to be a layperson and not ordain. I recognize that not everyone has favorable life circumstances as I do, and thus for many people ordraining is the right decision to speed up their way out of misery.
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Zom » Tue Mar 18, 2014 10:29 am

:goodpost:
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Coyote » Tue Mar 18, 2014 11:22 am

Personally it is because I know I would eventually disrobe, I would not be able to keep the precepts. At one point I had thought, very strongly, that I wanted to ordain. But taking a good, honest look at myself I can see that I am not ready. I would only want to ordain if I knew I was going to be there for life.
"If beings knew, as I know, the results of giving & sharing, they would not eat without having given, nor would the stain of miserliness overcome their minds. Even if it were their last bite, their last mouthful, they would not eat without having shared."
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Jayantha-NJ » Thu Mar 20, 2014 8:40 pm

Right now, nothing! I'm going in into Bhavana on June 1st and if all goes well a year from now I'll be a novice monk

Before that it was a car payment keeping me back. I'm 36, a widower for 8 years, no kids, and no responsibilities, so hopefully nothing else will keep me from full ordination. I have kept myself open to life the last few years while preparing myself as I know life happens while we plan, but so far my life continues to be moving down this path and unless I go in and change my mind, I plan to do this for life.
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby manas » Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:30 am

What stops me is that I believe I will make more spiritual progress as a good lay Buddhist, than as a monastic, at this time. Also because I have two children who need me...it would be wrong for me to abandon them.

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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Invincible_Summer » Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:01 am

I am engaged to be married. It may just be "delusion" talking, but I just don't feel that the way my life is going so far is leading me to ordination. Devout laity, sure, but at this point I don't see it being skillful to leave my partner and our families.
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby manas » Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:19 am

Invincible_Summer wrote:It may just be "delusion" talking


Or it might just be that you know yourself well enough, to know what is most suitable for you at this stage of your life. Not all Buddhists should ordain anyway. If all Buddhists got ordained, it would make getting dana very difficult for all those monks and nuns, would it not?

:anjali:
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Invincible_Summer » Fri Mar 21, 2014 1:31 am

manas wrote:
Invincible_Summer wrote:It may just be "delusion" talking


Or it might just be that you know yourself well enough, to know what is most suitable for you at this stage of your life. Not all Buddhists should ordain anyway. If all Buddhists got ordained, it would make getting dana very difficult for all those monks and nuns, would it not?

:anjali:


Haha yes, you have a point. I know it's difficult to get a sense of others' humour via text, but I was trying to be fairly tongue-in-cheek with my reference to "delusion."
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Ananda26 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:25 pm

ihrjordan wrote:My question is something iv'e been battling with myself for some time....What is stopping you from ordaining as a monk? Every now and then i go over this question in my head. As iv'e come to see in my meditation practice, everything in the material world is uncontrollable and unsatisfying so why go on? It seems as though I am subconsciously torturing myself to an extent just by staying. But the reasons i always come up with when asked the question is "I want to have kids one day" and "I don't look like a monk" (because I am black/white idk) and those are probably the only 2 things stopping me as of now....so what's stopping you from ordaining?


There are many lay people who attained Never Returner. If you have not found a suitable place to ordain yet, you can still accomplish some very worthwhile things as a lay practicer.
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby TheNoBSBuddhist » Wed Apr 09, 2014 3:44 pm

What's stopping me?
The fact I don't want to, or need to.
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Bakmoon » Thu Apr 10, 2014 2:11 am

I'm too tangled up in Mara's snare to ordain in my current state to be quite blunt. :tongue:

I like entertainment too much right now to renounce worldly pleasure entirely, and I still haven't yet beaten that old habit of procrastination when it comes to meditation, so no going forth for me.

But you never know. With hard work and progress, perhaps someday I will be ready.
The non-doing of any evil,
The performance of what's skillful,
The cleansing of one's own mind:
This is the Buddhas' teaching.
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Crazy cloud » Thu Apr 10, 2014 5:11 am

I'm to old.

Be well and happy :)
your name Mori means forest like the infinite fresh green distances of your blindness
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby appicchato » Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:48 am

I'm to old.


If one is able to live unassisted, age is not an obstacle to ordination...
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Spiny Norman » Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:53 am

I can't find a monastery with a wide-screen TV. :tongue:
Well, oi dunno...
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby cooran » Thu Apr 10, 2014 8:56 am

Hello Bhane,

Age IS a barrier for any older female thinking of ordaining. I think 50 is the upper age.

With metta,
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby Khalil Bodhi » Thu Apr 10, 2014 9:42 am

I have kids and a family to support.
To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one's mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas.
-Dhp. 183

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Re: What's stopping you?

Postby appicchato » Thu Apr 10, 2014 9:46 am

cooran wrote:Age IS a barrier for any older female thinking of ordaining.


I stand corrected...hopefully that will change...
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