I'm sorry to hear about the difficult family dynamic that you are caught in.
If you don't want to, there's nothing wrong with not disclosing your Buddhist faith to your family. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Perhaps a way to justify your non-drinking is to cite the deleterious health effects of alcohol consumption and suggest that you don't want to compromise your health, especially at this point during your PhD. In the past I have also mentioned the catastrophic effects of drink-driving on the community. It was something that was easy for me to do having worked a number of years in Victoria's No. 1 road-trauma hospital but also because an older brother of mine inadvertently killed himself on the road after a drinking binge some years ago.
Another thing you could do, if you have a taste for high-drama, is to call a spade a spade and tell them that you are a Buddhist. It might provoke an interesting situation but at least it would be out in the open and they could accept it or not accept it. You're 25 now, so its probably about time that they accepted and respected you for who you are, not who they would like you to be.
In my own situation, I just tell people that I don't drink. Its not that unusual anymore so most of the time its no big deal. Sometimes I might get asked 'why' and I'll then tell them that I am a Buddhist. If its a problem for them, its their problem. The monkey stays on their back, not mine.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •
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