failing to meditate at home retreat

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths - what can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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purple planet
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failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by purple planet »

I am trying to do a home retreat (talking to a teacher on the phone) - i can manage with the no eating -sleeping 6 hours - no music ect by will force
but i fail some times to manage to sit throw a meditation sitting -

what is the best thing to do once i cant keep meditating - i always get very tired when i give up on the meditation

until i found a better way i decided that instead of eating or watching videos whenever i fail to meditate i will just continue the retreat as usual i will just sleep whenever i feel i cant continue until i have the power to meditate again

does anybody have a better idea of what to do when i dont fell like i can continue to meditate ?
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Crazy cloud
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by Crazy cloud »

Hi, maybe do some "walking meditation", or just do some housework, or gardening, and so on. I'm mostly used to do home reatreats, and I just keep my focus on the breath, whatever and whenever. Works fine by me, and I dont have a special teacher either, but with this www, it's no problem. Lighten up, and play around with your breath, is my advice.


Best regards and may you be happy :smile:
If you didn't care
What happened to me
And I didn't care for you

We would zig-zag our way
Through the boredom and pain
Occasionally glancing up through the rain

Wondering which of the
Buggers to blame
And watching for pigs on the wing
- Roger Waters
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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by TheNoBSBuddhist »

You sound bored.
You sound as if you are doing a Home retreat because you think it's what you should do, rather than doing it because you feel dedicated and want to.

To you it's an obligation which has turned into an ordeal.

If this is true, or even close to the truth, your Motivation is unskilful and you should suspend the activity.

A retreat is something you practise with dedication and sincerity.
If you 'look forward' to your time spent in Meditation as a stumbling block, or a problematic activity, then your heart will not be in it. On the contrary, you will dread it, and the situation will get worse, not better.

:namaste:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



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Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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purple planet
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by purple planet »

So how do i do a home retreat - i need to do it no doubt - so how do i do it in a different way ?
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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by TheNoBSBuddhist »

"Need" is incorrect.
Nobody 'Needs' to do anything, if their heart is not in it.

And clearly, your heart is not in it.
You cannot 'force' something like this, you will know when you are ready and eager to accomplish it.

Your task, really, is to treat every day as an opportunity to practise: To be Mindful, Compassionate, and Skilful in your keeping the Precepts and the Eightfold Path.

Pay Attention, Mind the Gap, and Simplify.

:namaste:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



Image

Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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purple planet
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by purple planet »

I used to want to mediate before when i was mindful during the day - its an interesting point do you think mindfulness during the day causes you to want to meditate ?

But now i have a rare opportunity to do a home retreat i dont have the privilege to wait until i would want to do a home retreat
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TheNoBSBuddhist
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by TheNoBSBuddhist »

Mindfulness during the day - IS Meditating.....
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



Image

Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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cooran
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by cooran »

Hello PP.,

Here is a previous discussion on Self Retreats
http://www.dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=15537

With metta,
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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Goofaholix
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by Goofaholix »

Travel to a retreat centre or monastery and do it there, I've been doing retreats for 20 years but I still don't think I'd be very successful trying to do it at home.
Pronouns (no self / not self)
“Peace is within oneself to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it.”
― Ajahn Chah
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Viscid
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by Viscid »

When we're at home we lapse into the habitual patterns associated with that environment. Everything in the home tells us to behave in the way we're used to behaving. When we're in a completely new environment, we don't have those past behavioural patterns to struggle with.
"What holds attention determines action." - William James
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Mkoll
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by Mkoll »

Yeah, the associations you carry (sleeping, eating, watching movies, etc.) with your home location and its familiar objects make it that much harder to act like an ascetic. Going to a location like a monastery or retreat center gets you away from those "triggers" and makes it easier to do.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
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Viscid
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by Viscid »

You could also significantly alter your home environment: smash the computer, empty your fridge, throw your mattress into the garden.. though you might regret that later.
"What holds attention determines action." - William James
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purple planet
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by purple planet »

I have much less trouble with the asetic side of it - but more with the meditations - if i would just do the 8 precepts i would have little problem (did it once for a month when i couldnt even meditate more then 30 minutes a day)
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Mkoll
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by Mkoll »

PP,

I just noticed that your signature has changed and your dog has passed away. I'm very sorry for your loss and for Mika. It is very sad and painful to lose a pet. Our family dog, Ginger, just passed away last month after 12 happy years. She lived a good, comfortable life and I'm sure Mika did too.

May they have gone on to a good destination.

:anjali:
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa
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purple planet
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Post by purple planet »

thanks - may your dog go to a good place and have a good life and reach nibbana -

i took care of her all day (the passing away part was not hard for me) - couldnt really meditate cause she would sometimes get caught somewhere or fall so i didnt want to meditate just to stop it every-time i hear a sound - there were times i was mindful during the day and it did make me want to do formal meditation but i couldnt - a good reason to mediate was so i can take better care for her

so now i finally can meditate formally and i can also do it all day - im pretty sure i wont have this option for long not sure i even got a month of "peace" before something bad will happen again - so i defiantly need to do a retreat now so i can deal better with the new thing more easily and better - im sure i could not take as good care for my dog if i hadnt advanced in meditation before - and it would probably be 10 times harder (probobly taking care for my 90 year old grandfather) (+shouldnt we always aspire to meditate as much as we can as if we die tomorrow?)

the things are that like i said its hard to meditate for me and when that breaking point happens well i really cant find a good reason to push throw it ( my dog use to be a good reason but shes dead i dont care for no one that much to be honest - and to improve on that i would probably need lots of time i dont have to practice metta)

so everything we do is dukkha - i can understand it and even experience it to some extent - but its still not clear enough to make me want to "push throw" the hard part

- i will change my question : why should i push throw the hard part ? (for myself ? - nah i rather sleep ... for others ? i dont feel such good feelings to others to a point im willing to sit throw the aversion (the metta helps in this but not to a point to help sit throw meditation) )
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