I see......pink_trike wrote:Practice and clear view would help to minimize the "need"....and at the same time it may also create the internal circumstances that results in easier more meaningful relationship with people as we clear out and make space.Thaibebop wrote: So, depression aside, a person does not 'need' other people, if they have developed a certain level along the Dhamma path? Am I reading you right?
It's Just Ego Again
Re: It's Just Ego Again
- christopher:::
- Posts: 1327
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:56 am
Re: It's Just Ego Again
Well, this all ties in with Pink's point i think. The key issue is what are your relationships founded on? If you are trying to get away from people because you dont want to be attached, then maybe those relationships were lacking what Buddha talked about as being primary, with human relations.Thaibebop wrote:
You are saying we need people but if we are lonely we are just attached to them, not attached to the idea of needing people, as in people feeling compelled by society to have friends and if they don't something must be wrong with them? Right?
As Ben put it (see my sig):
If your relationships are based on metta, karuna, mudita and upekkha, there's no problem. You can enjoy people, you will be a blessing in their lives, they will be a gift in your life. If these are lacking, then relationships do feel needy, disfunctional..."As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
There's nothing deep there between you....
But the only way to change that is start changing how you relate to others, what you bring to friendships, what you are looking for when you start spending time with people...
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
Re: It's Just Ego Again
I need to think on this while. I understand what you are saying and it makes sense, yet how can it be applied?christopher::: wrote:Well, this all ties in with Pink's point i think. The key issue is what are your relationships founded on? If you are trying to get away from people because you dont want to be attached, then maybe those relationships were lacking what Buddha talked about as being primary, with human relations.Thaibebop wrote:
You are saying we need people but if we are lonely we are just attached to them, not attached to the idea of needing people, as in people feeling compelled by society to have friends and if they don't something must be wrong with them? Right?
As Ben put it (see my sig):
If your relationships are based on metta, karuna, mudita and upekkha, there's no problem. You can enjoy people, you will be a blessing in their lives, they will be a gift in your life. If these are lacking, then relationships do feel needy, disfunctional..."As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
There's nothing deep there between you....
But the only way to change that is start changing how you relate to others, what you bring to friendships, what you are looking for when you start spending time with people...
- christopher:::
- Posts: 1327
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:56 am
Re: It's Just Ego Again
Check out this discussion:Thaibebop wrote:
I need to think on this while. I understand what you are saying and it makes sense, yet how can it be applied?
Buddha's Views on Love, Compassion, Joy & Equanimity
Make sure you read the first link there (and here, below)...
The Four Sublime States: Contemplations on Love, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and Equanimity
I'd go so far as to recommend printing this article out, reading thru it slowly, cause this is very very important. You can meditate 12 hours a day, but if you aren't cultivating the brahma viharas something very essential will be missing....
This is the core of the dhamma, when it comes to social relationships, imo...
Hope that's helpful.
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
Re: It's Just Ego Again
Thank you.christopher::: wrote:Check out this discussion:Thaibebop wrote:
I need to think on this while. I understand what you are saying and it makes sense, yet how can it be applied?
Buddha's Views on Love, Compassion, Joy & Equanimity
Make sure you read the first link there (and here, below)...
The Four Sublime States: Contemplations on Love, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and Equanimity
I'd go so far as to recommend printing this article out, reading thru it slowly, cause this is very very important. You can meditate 12 hours a day, but if you aren't cultivating the brahma viharas something very essential will be missing....
This is the core of the dhamma, when it comes to social relationships, imo...
Hope that's helpful.
- christopher:::
- Posts: 1327
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:56 am
Re: It's Just Ego Again
(((( )))))Thaibebop wrote: Thank you.
"As Buddhists, we should aim to develop relationships that are not predominated by grasping and clinging. Our relationships should be characterised by the brahmaviharas of metta (loving kindness), mudita (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion), and upekkha (equanimity)."
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009
~post by Ben, Jul 02, 2009