Are monks allowed to touch their mothers?

[gavesako]

I am not sure what this is supposed to mean:

Monastic discipline prohibits hugs across genders. But if you are a man and a hugger, Amma can show you a “monastic hug.” Just ask.

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[Ceisiwr]

What about personal visits from parents, without touching?

I've wanted to ordain for a long time but i know it would upset my parents if they weren't able to keep in contact with me.


Also can you live as an anagarika at a monastery for years without requesting formal ordination?

[Dhammanando]

What about personal visits from parents, without touching?

I've wanted to ordain for a long time but i know it would upset my parents if they weren't able to keep in contact with me.

In the west it’s not uncommon for monks to hug their mothers when they go home to pay a visit and then confess the dukkaṭa offence when they get back to the monastery. But hugging them when they visit the monastery would probably be frowned upon.

In the traditional Theravada countries Asian monks generally keep the rule to the letter. Their mothers may not be entirely happy about it, but they don’t get inordinately upset. Having grown up in a Buddhist society they’ve pretty well internalized their culture’s perception of monks as being entirely off-limits to women.

Also can you live as an anagarika at a monastery for years without requesting formal ordination?

In Thailand one could do this in theory, though in practice it would be unfeasible as a long-term option for a westerner because the special monastic visa extensions are granted only to bhikkhus and mae chees. In Burma I think such visa extensions are available to anyone staying long-term in a monastery or meditation centre. As for the Forest Sangha monasteries in Britain, Ven. Gavesako will know better than I how things are now. It used to be the case that although anagarikaship was generally regarded in the FS as the first stage in a programme that would eventually culminate in bhikkhuhood, exceptions would occasionally be made for men who wanted to live the brahmacariya but were unsuitable for (or debarred from) bhikkhuhood for one reason or another.

[Kumara]

What about personal visits from parents, without touching?

My parents have visited me in the monastery many times. Clearly no prohibition on this.

I've wanted to ordain for a long time but i know it would upset my parents if they weren't able to keep in contact with me.

No Vinaya prohibition on this too, but individual monasteries may be have idiosyncratic prohibitions.

Also can you live as an anagarika at a monastery for years without requesting formal ordination?

It depends on where.

[Dhammanando]

What about personal visits from parents, without touching?

I've wanted to ordain for a long time but i know it would upset my parents if they weren't able to keep in contact with me.

Sorry about my irrelevant earlier reply. I misread the question.

[Sekha]

Major NO

AN 5.55

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Herein, Lord, a mother and son
were both spending the rainy season in Sāvatthī,
as monk and nun.

They longed to see one another often;
the mother often wished for her son,
the son his mother.

And from seeing each other often,
companionship arose;
from companionship,
intimacy;
from intimacy,
amorousness;
and without giving up the training
and making their weakness manifest,
with their hearts inflamed,
they gave themselves over
to incestuous intercourse.

[Dhammanando]

Major NO

Touching one's mother without lust incurs only a dukkaṭa offence. Since dukkaṭas are classed as light offences (in fact the second lightest of all), not heavy ones, it's a minor NO.

[Sekha]

Thank you Bhante, you are obviously right.
I should have said : Minor No that may become Major No according to the associated mental posture, especially if it becomes a recurring habit.
The sutta goes on:

Bhikkhus, does the foolish man think the mother would not crave for the son or the son for the mother?