seeking forgiveness

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genkaku
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seeking forgiveness

Postby genkaku » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:33 pm

In the ordinary way of things, some people are wise enough to seek forgiveness for their bad deeds.

But how many are wise enough to seek forgiveness for their good deeds?

Or is this just an unwise question?

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bodom
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby bodom » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:49 pm

I think i will be dealing with this in the upcoming years. Doing what i feel is right for my daughter may not always be what she feels is right. We have all been there i believe. Resenting our parents for them making us do the right thing even though we think its wrong at the time. Now we look back and think OH! Thats what they meant when they said "One day youll look back and thank me." Im sure my daughter will not be happy with some of the decisions that i will make for her in her life and it will probobly hurt me in the process but it will be for her benefit in the future, but does this mean i should seek forgiveness from my daughter for trying to do the right thing for her?

:namaste:
‘To define Buddhism without a lot of words and phrases, we can simply say, “Don’t cling or hold on to anything. Harmonize with actuality, with things just as they are.”’ - Ajahn Chah

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Cittasanto
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby Cittasanto » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:14 pm

good intentions gone wrong, I find it easier to say sorry for this than when it has been an unintentional mistake
“Mendicants, these two [types of persons] defame the Tathāgata.
(The mendicants asked) What are the two [types of persons]?
(The Lord Buddha responded) The malicious, or the inwardly angry, and the one with (blind) faith or the one who holds things incorrectly.
Mendicants, these two [types of persons] defame the Tathāgata.”
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.
"Others will misconstrue reality based on personal perspectives, firmly holding onto and not easily discarding them; We shall not misconstrue reality due to our personal perspectives, nor firmly holding them, but easily discarded."

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genkaku
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby genkaku » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:21 pm

bodom_bad_boy wrote:I think i will be dealing with this in the upcoming years. Doing what i feel is right for my daughter may not always be what she feels is right. We have all been there i believe. Resenting our parents for them making us do the right thing even though we think its wrong at the time. Now we look back and think OH! Thats what they meant when they said "One day youll look back and thank me." Im sure my daughter will not be happy with some of the decisions that i will make for her in her life and it will probobly hurt me in the process but it will be for her benefit in the future, but does this mean i should seek forgiveness from my daughter for trying to do the right thing for her?

:namaste:


Dear BBB -- My take, with three children of my own, is: Parents are ALWAYS wrong. Just go ahead and do the right thing ... correct as necessary ... and learn to forgive yourself for you 'good' or 'bad' deeds.

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bodom
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby bodom » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:25 pm

:namaste:
genkaku wrote:
bodom_bad_boy wrote:I think i will be dealing with this in the upcoming years. Doing what i feel is right for my daughter may not always be what she feels is right. We have all been there i believe. Resenting our parents for them making us do the right thing even though we think its wrong at the time. Now we look back and think OH! Thats what they meant when they said "One day youll look back and thank me." Im sure my daughter will not be happy with some of the decisions that i will make for her in her life and it will probobly hurt me in the process but it will be for her benefit in the future, but does this mean i should seek forgiveness from my daughter for trying to do the right thing for her?

:namaste:


Dear BBB -- My take, with three children of my own, is: Parents are ALWAYS wrong. Just go ahead and do the right thing ... correct as necessary ... and learn to forgive yourself for you 'good' or 'bad' deeds.


lol thank you for the forewarning genkaku. Ive already come to the conclusion that im always wrong thanks to the wife so this should be no big adjustment then lol.

:namaste:
‘To define Buddhism without a lot of words and phrases, we can simply say, “Don’t cling or hold on to anything. Harmonize with actuality, with things just as they are.”’ - Ajahn Chah

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Fede
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby Fede » Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:30 pm

I have heard it said:
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

We may try to do well by others and still end up with egg on our face.

The secret is to apologise and show remorse.
Whether wrong or right.
but especially if one is right.
But then, move on, eh....?
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/

piper
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby piper » Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:55 pm

Right or wrong we must walk on. :mrgreen:

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genkaku
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby genkaku » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:37 pm

Remember Bodhidharma talking to the emperor? The emperor was pretty proud of his good deeds, having built so many stupas or other holy structures. But when he asked Bodhidharma what merit there was in his deeds, Bodhidharma told him plainly that there was no merit.

Sometimes I think we can all be a bit like the emperor -- noting and quietly hoarding our good deeds. And perhaps they are very good deeds indeed, but don't we need to investigate and forgive the 'goodness' of them?

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appicchato
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby appicchato » Sun Jan 25, 2009 12:01 am

Fede wrote:The secret is to apologise and show remorse.

Contriteness maybe, not remorse... :smile:


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