seeking forgiveness

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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genkaku
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seeking forgiveness

Postby genkaku » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:33 pm

In the ordinary way of things, some people are wise enough to seek forgiveness for their bad deeds.

But how many are wise enough to seek forgiveness for their good deeds?

Or is this just an unwise question?

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bodom
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby bodom » Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:49 pm

I think i will be dealing with this in the upcoming years. Doing what i feel is right for my daughter may not always be what she feels is right. We have all been there i believe. Resenting our parents for them making us do the right thing even though we think its wrong at the time. Now we look back and think OH! Thats what they meant when they said "One day youll look back and thank me." Im sure my daughter will not be happy with some of the decisions that i will make for her in her life and it will probobly hurt me in the process but it will be for her benefit in the future, but does this mean i should seek forgiveness from my daughter for trying to do the right thing for her?

:namaste:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo

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Cittasanto
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby Cittasanto » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:14 pm

good intentions gone wrong, I find it easier to say sorry for this than when it has been an unintentional mistake
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill

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genkaku
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby genkaku » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:21 pm

bodom_bad_boy wrote:I think i will be dealing with this in the upcoming years. Doing what i feel is right for my daughter may not always be what she feels is right. We have all been there i believe. Resenting our parents for them making us do the right thing even though we think its wrong at the time. Now we look back and think OH! Thats what they meant when they said "One day youll look back and thank me." Im sure my daughter will not be happy with some of the decisions that i will make for her in her life and it will probobly hurt me in the process but it will be for her benefit in the future, but does this mean i should seek forgiveness from my daughter for trying to do the right thing for her?

:namaste:


Dear BBB -- My take, with three children of my own, is: Parents are ALWAYS wrong. Just go ahead and do the right thing ... correct as necessary ... and learn to forgive yourself for you 'good' or 'bad' deeds.

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bodom
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby bodom » Fri Jan 23, 2009 4:25 pm

:namaste:
genkaku wrote:
bodom_bad_boy wrote:I think i will be dealing with this in the upcoming years. Doing what i feel is right for my daughter may not always be what she feels is right. We have all been there i believe. Resenting our parents for them making us do the right thing even though we think its wrong at the time. Now we look back and think OH! Thats what they meant when they said "One day youll look back and thank me." Im sure my daughter will not be happy with some of the decisions that i will make for her in her life and it will probobly hurt me in the process but it will be for her benefit in the future, but does this mean i should seek forgiveness from my daughter for trying to do the right thing for her?

:namaste:


Dear BBB -- My take, with three children of my own, is: Parents are ALWAYS wrong. Just go ahead and do the right thing ... correct as necessary ... and learn to forgive yourself for you 'good' or 'bad' deeds.


lol thank you for the forewarning genkaku. Ive already come to the conclusion that im always wrong thanks to the wife so this should be no big adjustment then lol.

:namaste:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo

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Fede
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby Fede » Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:30 pm

I have heard it said:
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

We may try to do well by others and still end up with egg on our face.

The secret is to apologise and show remorse.
Whether wrong or right.
but especially if one is right.
But then, move on, eh....?
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/

piper
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby piper » Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:55 pm

Right or wrong we must walk on. :mrgreen:

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genkaku
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby genkaku » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:37 pm

Remember Bodhidharma talking to the emperor? The emperor was pretty proud of his good deeds, having built so many stupas or other holy structures. But when he asked Bodhidharma what merit there was in his deeds, Bodhidharma told him plainly that there was no merit.

Sometimes I think we can all be a bit like the emperor -- noting and quietly hoarding our good deeds. And perhaps they are very good deeds indeed, but don't we need to investigate and forgive the 'goodness' of them?

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appicchato
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Re: seeking forgiveness

Postby appicchato » Sun Jan 25, 2009 12:01 am

Fede wrote:The secret is to apologise and show remorse.

Contriteness maybe, not remorse... :smile:


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