AHHH, THE FREAKIN' NOISE!

[Rob427W]

Good freakin' night, man. You want to talk about anger / annoyance / maybe hate?


I think tonight might be the first night that I've had to stop my sit early, because of my father's loud television -- at least since I've been back from Jack Kornfield's retreat.


So, while I deal with the anger -- is there something you folks might suggest for the noise...better word, sound?

I'm thinking earplugs, but then you have to deal with the annoying sound of your breath, which becomes very loud.


Maybe I just need to move out. I am 22.


...yikes.

[Cittasanto]

Try practicing Metta? or focs on what you want to focus o instead of what ou mind wants to?

[Ben]

Hi Rob
Definitely move out. Get your own place. I highly recommend it.
However, I think you'll find you'll take your annoyances with you.

Before you move out, you may want to support your meditation practice by getting some earplugs. Something that I use is an ipod and play sound files of my teacher reciting suttas in pali. It provides a nice meditative ambience, blocks out most distracting outside noises and is a convenient time piece. I've used that set-up to meditate while commuting on rural trains.
Another recommendation is to meditate very early in the morning and after your father has gone to bed for the night - when its a bit quiter.

If you can support your practice in this way then you'll find over time that you'll start to let go of your annoyances.
All the best

Ben

[pink_trike]

Until you're able to find a quieter place to sit your practice can be to note "sound" and note mind's reaction to sound without engaging with either of them - just observe sound and mind's reaction to it....this can be your entire practice for as long as those are the circumstances you find yourself in.

Observe the difference between hearing and listening.

[zavk]

Hi Rob

This might be of interest: viewtopic.php?f=22&t=2305

[BlackBird]

TV blares when we're eating meals, I've actually been told more or less to stop muting the television during the ad break - "You always do that, it's annoying."

People are funny.
Situations require patience.

[mikenz66]

Hi Rob,

PT's suggestion is good:

...just observe sound and mind's reaction to it....this can be your entire practice for as long as those are the circumstances you find yourself in.

However, my experience is that it's difficult to LEARN to do this when the sound is REALLY ANNOYING. You might try training yourself by actively focussing on sounds while it is relatively quiet, and while some of the sounds are pleasant. Notice how, for example, the birds and the wind don't bother you, but the traffic and TV do...

Metta
Mike

[Rob427W]

You guys are really wonderful.

Only about a week here, and I've received so much.


I'm going to contemplate all your suggestions well.


Off to bed for now. Nite, folks.

[pink_trike]

Hi Rob,

PT's suggestion is good:

...just observe sound and mind's reaction to it....this can be your entire practice for as long as those are the circumstances you find yourself in.

However, my experience is that it's difficult to LEARN to do this when the sound is REALLY ANNOYING. You might try training yourself by actively focussing on sounds while it is relatively quiet, and while some of the sounds are pleasant. Notice how, for example, the birds and the wind don't bother you, but the traffic and TV do...

Metta
Mike

Yes, excellent suggestion.

[mikenz66]

Hi Rob,

Perhaps I should add that it's only after several years that I'm no longer bothered by the relatively innocuous bells that the Thais like to hang around the grounds of our Wat to ring in the wind...

And I recall Ajahn Tiradhammo mentioning a monk who left a monastery that he was staying in in Thailand in the 1970s, with the complaint that: "I can't meditate here, the frogs are too noisy!".

So don't feel bad if you can't be equanimous about the TV right away...

Mike

[PeterB]

During the course of most weeks I move between a very quiet house in a small village with just one road in and out, and an apartment near London. I was interested to realise that the adjustment that I had to make was the reverse of what I expected. The sound of traffic when at the apartment is constant and consistant, a hum. After a while I had to make a conscious effort to hear it. The sounds around the house are natural but random, gulls,magpies, the wind in the trees, peasant folk dancing by torchlight ( I made that bit up )..and its those sounds I have to adjust to after being away. Its all in the mind.
Having said that 22 is a good age to move away if finances allow, also Rob, have you asked dad to turn it down a bit ?

[Bhikkhu Pesala]

Get up early in the morning to meditate — I bet your dad is not watching TV at 5:00 am.

In the evenings, go out for a walk.

[cooran]

Ben said: meditate very early in the morning and after your father has gone to bed for the night - when its a bit quiter.

Elegant and simple - thanks Ben. I'm having the same problem with the loud T.V. and, also, with having to listen to a full CD of Kamahl which my mother uses every single evening as a means of lulling herself to sleep. Listen to, say, One Hundred Children - I do every single evening as it is on the album my mother plays loudly as she has a hearing impairment - as well as about 15 others.
http://www.emusic.com/album/Kamahl-Imag ... 01674.html

My brother takes the dog for a walk at 4.30 a.m. and turns lights on and rattles cups before doing so. So .... I wait until he has gone, and try to meditate for the 45 mins. he is away.
It will be a while (up to a year) before I can move.

Of course, their excellent qualities far outweigh my dosa because their way of living doesn't match my wishes - so I have to learn to watch my own mindstream and judging mind. Still can't get away from the "So-precious-I" after all these years.

metta
Chris

[PeterB]

I find that in my case the " so precious I " can always find a reason why THIS particular situation is simply too much to ask..The trouble is THIS particular situation has a habit of recurring under a series of guises..

[ashtanga]

Definitely move out. Get your own place. I highly recommend it.
However, I think you'll find you'll take your annoyances with you.

[acinteyyo]

Freakin' Noise?

[Laurens]

If you find yourself becoming angry at your father I would certainly recommend metta meditation.

Also another simple thing that might work is this:

"Dad is that okay if you turn the TV down just a little please? I find it distracts me from my meditation"

[rowyourboat]

the sound doesn't disturb

the mind getting agitated at the sound does

when we stop fighting with the sound, stop having aversion, we can let the sound arise and pass away

[retrofuturist]

Greetings RYB,

the sound doesn't disturb

the mind getting agitated at the sound does

when we stop fighting with the sound, stop having aversion, we can let the sound arise and pass away

Precisely so, but to reach that realisation, often it takes a bit of quiet meditation and contemplation.



Possibly a bit of a catch-22 situation if you're continually surrounded by noise.

Metta,
Retro.

[suriyopama]

Hi Rob
Definitely move out. Get your own place. I highly recommend it.
However, I think you'll find you'll take your annoyances with you.

Hi Ben,

You're right. It's exactly as you say

I've spent the last years "moving on" trying to find a better place, but I still can't get rid of my annoyances. Now I'm living in Thailand, and it's even worst!!

It's not the place, it's not the sounds, it's definitively my mind. Someone said that the best place to fight is in the front-line, not in the happy and quiet retirement environment. But it's like being caught in a vicious circle...

I’m going to practice metta with the noisy street dogs, the crazy birds, the live music from the distant pub, TV's, frogs, mosquitoes...