If a person lost the will to live, how do you help them?

[Dugu]

My friend is going through some hard time right now and she told me today she doesn't want to live anymore. She's going to be 50 and she suffering from loneliness. Besides telling her to seek professional help (which she has before), is there a Buddhist solution to this problem?

[jcsuperstar]

is she Buddhist?

but a good way to get over yourself is to care about something or someone else

[Dugu]

is she Buddhist?

but a good way to get over yourself is to care about something or someone else

She's not. She was a Christian at one point.

[Cittasanto]

be there for her and listen

[Dugu]

be there for her and listen

I have.. it's been slowly spiraling down since last year.

[jcsuperstar]

is she Buddhist?

but a good way to get over yourself is to care about something or someone else

She's not. She was a Christian at one point.

see a Buddhist answer is probably not going to work then.

[Cittasanto]

have you talked to her? I mean actually talk, share your life with her

[Dugu]

is she Buddhist?

but a good way to get over yourself is to care about something or someone else

She's not. She was a Christian at one point.

see a Buddhist answer is probably not going to work then.

What did you have in mind? Never know, it might help her.

[jcsuperstar]

all i know is that when i was super low in life, and i mean low. some of what helped me was other people being around, comedy, lots of comedy, its pretty hard to feel down when youre laughing your head off, and goals, any kind of goals, although i would stay away from the type of goals that are easy to fail at as that is just going to reinforce any negative views. fixation on the self that is hurting isn't going to do much good, just remind her you don't have to believe everything you think. but cognitive dissidence can be a good thing, just remember the mind cant think two different things at once, thats why the comedy helps, and the goals help, your mind is fixated on funny not sad, a better future not the dreary past etc.

[Dan74]

Do metta meditation for her.

As much as you can, depending on how much you care.

Also related Tonglen practice may be good. http://www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/tonglen1.php

_/|\_

[pink_trike]

My friend is going through some hard time right now and she told me today she doesn't want to live anymore. She's going to be 50 and she suffering from loneliness. Besides telling her to seek professional help (which she has before), is there a Buddhist solution to this problem?

Loneliness is epidemic among older people in our modern society. Older people have very little value in a consumer culture unless they have buckets of disposal cash. This is one of the uglier realities of modern life - older people are disposable and invisible.

You might gently and casually plant the seed that being alone can be an opportunity to get to know oneself better...sort of a "time out" from a busy world - something that most people don't have time for. Often people are lonely because they've never met themselves at any level of depth...they are often perfect strangers to themselves, having molded themselves to external factors all their life. Maybe you can find a way to suggest that there is a whole universe to explore within.

Invite her to hang out in the lounge here.

[cooran]

My friend is going through some hard time right now and she told me today she doesn't want to live anymore. She's going to be 50 and she suffering from loneliness. Besides telling her to seek professional help (which she has before), is there a Buddhist solution to this problem?

Hello Dugu,

Does she have any friends or family who may not realise she is hurting?

metta
Chris

[Laurens]

That is a tough question. I guess what I would do is show that person kindness and generousity, I would do my best to bring them joy and show them the other side of things, hopefully that would lift their spirits. Let them truely know that you care for them, it might be all that they need.

[Dugu]

have you talked to her? I mean actually talk, share your life with her

Yes, on many occasions. She knows the many struggles I have overcome. She knows I am a Buddhist and I have shared Dharma talks with her. She's beginning to understand the Noble Truths, but she just can't cope at the moment and her mind constantly dwells in the past and worries about the future. It is hardly in the present.

[Dugu]

all i know is that when i was super low in life, and i mean low. some of what helped me was other people being around, comedy, lots of comedy, its pretty hard to feel down when youre laughing your head off, and goals, any kind of goals, although i would stay away from the type of goals that are easy to fail at as that is just going to reinforce any negative views. fixation on the self that is hurting isn't going to do much good, just remind her you don't have to believe everything you think. but cognitive dissidence can be a good thing, just remember the mind cant think two different things at once, thats why the comedy helps, and the goals help, your mind is fixated on funny not sad, a better future not the dreary past etc.

Yes I agree. I have encourage her to get out of the house more often.