I think its a bit more complex than inadvertently developing subtle aversion, though I am sure that does happen as well. I think that its quite easy to mistake equanimity as aversion as a result of either retreat experiences or intensive day-to-day practice when one reacquaints oneself with loved and desired people and objects.
As a case in point, it is quite easy to mistake a practice like contemplation of death, of body parts or of the repulsiveness of food as developing aversion when in fact its about developing equanimity so that we can see things as they really are.
A recent experience of mine, however insignificant, was to attend a summer school course on cuisine design following a ten-day course. It appeared to me that my relationship with the unique Tasmanian produce we were sampling and learning to cook, was not characterized by the same depth of craving that I had in the past. The lack of "passion", I noted, was interesting to say the least.
I'm not suggesting that subtle aversion doesn't take place and we don't excuse it within ourselves through some kind of conceited perception. I'm sure all of us, myself included, are guilty if not capable of that. I think its interesting to analyze what's going on within ourselves.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •
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