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Advice on raising girls - Dhamma Wheel

Advice on raising girls

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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Annapurna
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Advice on raising girls

Postby Annapurna » Thu Jan 29, 2009 10:08 am

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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bodom
Posts: 5713
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby bodom » Thu Jan 29, 2009 1:51 pm

I have one on the way. Im clueless about girls let alone raising one. Its gonna be crazy.

:namaste:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

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Annapurna
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Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Annapurna » Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:21 pm

Congratulations, BBB!

May she be happy, healthy and a joy in your life!

You say you are clueless about girls? Well, that is impopssible...

You got one of them pregnant!

(You must have done something right....) :smile:

Just don't break her selfconfidence. Like : Girls can't do this.

That's something I never heard.

My brother had to help in the household as much as I did, and he also learned to cook and bake.

The neighbor girl had to help her mom in the kitchen while her 2 brothers had leisure time instead.

She wept bitter tears about the privileges her brothers had, while she had to wipe their dirt up.

I even tried to speak to her parents about it, but her father insisted that men are too good for low work like kitchenstuff.

She felt humiliated and worthless.

I felt very sorry for her.

My parents and I then invited her out on many Sundays for lunch. That helped her a bit I think.

When she fell in love with an Afro American man, her father forbid him to set foot in the house.

Albeit she was 5 or 6 months pregnant, they found a clinic in UK to abort her unborn child.

She was broken hearted, told me they had forced her.

I 'll spare you the rest of the tragedy.



Anyhow, just treat your little girl like the apple of your eye, and a boy as well.

When will your little princess be born? :heart:
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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bodom
Posts: 5713
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby bodom » Thu Jan 29, 2009 6:29 pm

My little girl can choose to be whoever she wants to be. I would never hold her back from anything she wants in her life. She is do June 12th. 4 months to go!
Thank you for your blessings.

:namaste:
To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

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AdvaitaJ
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Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:17 am
Location: Michigan, USA

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby AdvaitaJ » Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:46 am

First rule: don't turn your back on her or she'll grow up before you know it. :D Mine is now pursuing her Masters degree and teaching music. :smile:

While she was growing up, I deliberately bought all types of toys for her, "girl" toys and "boy" toys. She got doll houses and helicopters. Barbie dolls and bulldozers. I very specifically worked to ensure she did not place limits on her abilities. However, her Mother and I have the classic relationship where I go off to work every morning while her Mother stayed home. I always took care to supply the "muscle" for things around the house while her Mother, in a kind and loving way, made clear to all that I was incapable of doing laundry or loading the dishwasher. To the point, despite my overt attempts to ensure she never knew gender prejudice, she definitely picked some up from our examples. A classic case of doing what we do and not what we said!

Second rule: they are likely to turn out "just like you", so be mindful! Mine now has my old unfortunate tendency to pursue the acquisition of things in the belief they'll bring happiness. I'm now working on setting a better example! :meditate:

Regards: AdvaitaJ
The birds have vanished down the sky. Now the last cloud drains away.
We sit together, the mountain and me, until only the mountain remains.
Li Bai

Element

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Element » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:19 am


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Annapurna
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Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Annapurna » Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:50 am

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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Annapurna
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Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Annapurna » Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:17 am

I guess that all boils down to teaching a girl she is allowed to say : NO.

This is especially important in our times of sexual abuse and child rape.

I recall how my parents warned me already in kindergarten of evil people and how I should run away and ask adults for help in case that happens.

This may have saved my life or wellbeing already in kindergarten as well, as I was once urged by a stranger to come along with him, and instead I ran right back into the kindergarten and refused to walk home alone.

My parents had to pick me up.
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

Element

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Element » Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:09 am


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Annapurna
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Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Annapurna » Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:53 pm

Wow, I'm glad it didn't traumatize you.
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

Element

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Element » Sun Feb 01, 2009 8:56 pm


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Ngawang Drolma.
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Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Ngawang Drolma. » Sun Feb 01, 2009 9:53 pm



Element

Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Element » Mon Feb 02, 2009 12:09 am


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Ngawang Drolma.
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Re: Advice on raising girls

Postby Ngawang Drolma. » Mon Feb 02, 2009 1:42 am




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