rowyourboat wrote:How did you understand the non-self/not-self through your meditation? I think it is something worth talking about as it might point others in a useful direction (no guarantees though!) and is our duty as kalyanamittas. Undestanding non-self does not mean that person is enlightened and not even a stream entrant if I understand the insight knowledges correctly so please feel free to say how you feel.
I understood it when I saw non-continuous 'packets' of reality arising and passing away. It struck me if reality was just this, then there could be no doer, no continuous state which we could call the self.
It would be interesting to see how most people have understood it- this might be the most effective way perhaps!
with metta
RYB
Hi RYB,
still not sure what the term "self" refers to but I can speak about recognising "this is not me, I am not it".
There are - in my experience - four ways of directly knowing this.
1) I see the thoughts, intentions, etc arise automatically, without anybody (especially not me) doing them. There is a very spacious impression with it, as if everything arises inside this space. The space is experienced as "this is me, I am that space in that feelings, etc arise and dissolve". There is an increase of temporal resolution and discernment depending on concentration.
2) I see the space described in 1) from an external perspective, knowing "this space in that everything arises and dissolves is not me, is not what I am". I get the impression of watching the mind of another, of someone else, of it all being external to me, there is a simultaneous recognition of "this is a being that I observe" as well as "it consists of processes and patterns, nobody is controling it, more like a program running" (of course not in a language). Temporal resolution is even more increased, seconds seem like eternities. It is very difficult (for me) to reflect on the observing subject during these experiences as the focus is on the observed processes, but it seems it is a kind of space, too, just pretty empty.
3) I experience both perspectives simultaneously. Really odd this one as I am two and one is aware and observing and discerning the other and this other is not aware of the first. Temporal resolution can vary.
4) I get a view from outside that space described in 2). From this perspective 2) seems like a border or skin or shell around the space described in 1). They appear like a kind of "ball", 1) is a closed space with 2) around it like the skin of the ball. Temporal resolution is so high it seems almost a standstill. Both "spaces" (1) and 2) ) can be annihilated at will (a different will - not the one arising in that space 1) ) - but it seems I didn't want it as my personality in space 1) is still intact.
Seriously, this is why I don't understand "atta" or "an-atta" and prefer to speak about perspectives.
