I've have just been reading and like the discussions here.
I hadnt realized to what degree negative expectations colored my experience of other boards and its so nice just to read discussions about buddhism.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you
"When you meditate, don't send your mind outside. Whatever knowledge you've gained from books or teachers, don't bring it in to complicate things. Cut away all preoccupations, and then as you meditate let all your knowledge come from what's going on in the mind. When the mind is quiet, you'll know it for yourself.
But you have to keep meditating a lot. When the time comes for things to develop, they'll develop on their own. Whatever you know, have it come from your own mind.http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/dune/giftsheleft.html