Thank you for providing a perspective from "the other side of the fence" as it were, which I feel nicely complements what I wrote at the bottom of the first page of this thread.
I think Brandon from Buddha Chat put it well when he explained that at a particular point in a board's evolution you start to come across "big city issues", many of which you've articulated very well in your post.
I believe it is far better if people are in a position where they can see and understand these issues for themselves... acknowledge they exist, and to understand and appreciate that administrators require a strategy for navigating those "big city issues" which arise. Just like any decision or approach to a situation, there are some who will be happy with it, and there are some who will feel aggrieved by it. To expect otherwise is unrealistic.
I hope your post has gone some way to helping people understand the nature of some of the deeper issues that come with leading or guiding any community, online or offline, once it hits a certain size.
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh
"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)
"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine