In my opinion, there is a lot of merit to be found here, but with a catch. In your case, Peter, since you do not like the custom or the prospect of someone staying that long, you would be making a huge sacrifice for another. You would be sacrificing your comfort, your time and most importantly your view on the whole matter by allowing the situation to proceed. That's worth a lot of merit. Well at least according to my understanding of dana, which in addition to food and help to sangha also includes sacrifices and good deeds to all beings. This would be one great sacrifice. However, if you were to spend the duration harboring angry thoughts and an agressive attitude at your wife and houseguests, that kamma may cancel out whatever merit you are gaining. So that would be something to keep in mind, and for me personally would be the most significant and difficult aspect of the whole situation.PeterB wrote:What merit is gained by an unquestioning compliance to dumb custom...whether of the East or West.
So I guess what I'm saying, Ruud, is that beforehand you need to believe in your reasoning for going through with it so you don't have to battle with that personal anger and confusion on a daily basis. In addition you should prepare yourself for the possible negative states of mind that may occur on a daily basis. Because it sounds like it will be quite a tough situation.
And for the record I would have a really hard time going through with this living situation, despite my opinion on the situation.