Virgo wrote:I think you are making judgements which are unfounded. I wanted to share my experience with like minded people and not gain praise and fame.
Let me repeat and make it a bit more clear and note I am not offering any judgment as to why YOU are doing anything and also note the shift from the rhetorical "you" to a general "person" since I was speaking in general way based upon the info you gave me, trying to understand, from you said, what a sotapanna can do and cannot do, since are now the expert here on that:
"I may still have a lot of lobha and dosa." So, if a sotapanna person acts badly or acts driven by the 8 winds, that person's response is to shrug his shoulders and say "I am not perfect" - is that what you are saying? In other words, a sotapanna may not only want gain and praise derived from the recognition that goes with the attainment, but he or she may actually seek it by broadcasting his or her attainment.
I am thinking there is more virtue, however, in seeing stream-entry as just one more of which to let go; rather, one should merely live one's attainment with no gain or loss, no praise nor blame.
There is nothing here stating what YOUR motivations are. What you told us is that you wanted to share your experience because not doing do made you uncomfortable. You also stated that you may still have "a lot of lobha and dosa,"
and you indicated that you really have no clear understanding as to why you opted to give in to your discomfort. Your "explanation" for broadcasting your attainment is at best unclear, but point of the above is: you certainly have indicated that a sotapanna might act driven by the 8 winds and I stated that I think there is more virtue in letting go any identification with being a sotapanna, living without gain or loss, without praise or blame. Am I saying or implying that you are driven by the 8 winds? No, but there is nothing in what you have said that rules it out. Being New York rule breaker, however, is a very weak explanation for making such an extraordinary claim about yourself, a claim that would bring praise or blame.
Tilt, I will try to sum it up for you. I have been keeping this to myself for a period of time now. Granted 100 days is not an incredibly long period of time, but neither is it a completely insubstantial amount of time either. I don't have many Buddhist friends at all. My main friends are non-Buddhists. The only Buddhist friends I have any physical contact with where I live are of the Tibetan order. Their understanding is much different because the presentation in those schools is different. They don't really understand about sotapanna even if I told them what it was. My only Theravada Buddhist friends live in Thailand. I rarely speak to them now. I stay in contact via e-mail but there is not a lot of exchange between us. I don't have any one around to share this with. My main interaction with Buddhists has been internet forums such as this one and e-sangha for a long time. Every day I think about being a sotapanna. I have no one to share this experience with. I have no companions in this lifestyle. I have no one to talk about it with or express it to. After a while it started feeling like it was getting "bottled up" somehow due to lack of interaction with other Buddhists and lack of telling people about my experience. The final result? I told the people here on the internet which is where I am accustomed to talking about Buddhism. I don't see it as a big deal. It's taken some time but I have really come to terms with my situation as a sotapanna. I am no longer "amazed" by my situation. The experience has integrated with my life well now. It's not a "big shocker" for me now, although I am sure it holds a degree of "shock value" to others. Nonetheless, I got to the point where I just felt like I had to communicate this, let it out and so on. And that is exactly what I have done here. I am happy I did so. People may form all different opinions, but that is alright.
Just to be clear. I did not express this earlier because I thought it wiser to keep it to myself, but after a while of doing so I feel a strong need to express it. The lack of having regular real life conversations about Buddhism with people in my life probably added to my need to express this.
Again, lobha and dosa are realities for a sotapanna. That is the truth.
As far as negative motivations are concerned, I have not and will not accept gifts or money from others simply because I am a sotapanna. That doesn't fit well in todays society and culture, and I won't go for it. I have explicitly stated that I don't want any such offerings and that I will reject them. As far as teaching is concerned, I won't do that either. As I stated, there is a ton of good material out there already that is amazingly complete should any one want to learn Buddhism, in my opinion. I basically direct people to it when they have questions for me although I don't mind answering a Buddhist question here and there of course. That is about the extent of "Buddhist teaching" I will probably ever do.
I don't have any motivation except those born of unwholesome accumulations of attachment and aversion manifesting in my wanting to express my experiences to others like me (Buddhists). This is perfectly normal, I feel. Perhaps announcing it on the internet is a bit "over the top" in some ways but again, it is not like I have a group of close Buddhist friends or Theravada Buddhists or even a teacher nearby that I can express this with, and online communities have been my mainstay in Buddhism for long periods of time aside from when I lived in a Buddhist temple in America and when I lived in Thailand for a few months. The point about the "New York attitude" that I have is that this adds an element of me throwing caution to the wind and just saying what I feel no matter what. Anyway, I hope that explains things a little better. That is about the sum of it. Of course I also want to help people and hope people will ask me about dhamma. Again though, I will probably just direct them to material that has helped me.
Whatever an enemy might do to an enemy, or a foe to a foe, the ill-directed mind can do to you even worse.