siddhartha2010 wrote:At present I think I am following on the path that Budhha taught. I sit for few hours everyday. There is a monastery near where I live. I go there when ever I have the time to. Compare to few years ago I feel that I have transformed myself for better. But I dont know if it is due to my past karma I still find that I carry lots of anxiety within me. At times I feel very fearful of the future. Compare to past my guilty conscience is magnified to 10 times is I were to do something I would regret later.
At times I try my upmost to accept this feeling and begin to observe body in body
Just one step at a time, just continue to observe. This is not a quick fix and it takes time to fully understand how you are creating suffering for yourself and to let go of that.
"Whenever we feel that we are definitely right, so much so that we refuse to open up to anything or anybody else, right there we are wrong. It becomes wrong view. When suffering arises, where does it arise from? The cause is wrong view, the fruit of that being suffering. If it was right view it wouldn't cause suffering." - Ajahn Chah
"Remember you dont meditate to get anything, but to get rid of things. We do it, not with desire, but with letting go. If you want anything, you wont find it." - Ajahn Chah