by nathan » Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:18 am
This is a tough question so for me to be honest I would have to say, "I don't know". The search for truth has been central to my life, the establishment of truth has been a process in my life. I will have to gloss over most details. Oddly, an ongoing perception of the three marks strongly dominated my childhood and future development which made for a very odd experience of life. This mindfulness arises very naturally for me. In that context I think I have been perceiving dhamma to some extent all along. This suggests that a growing awareness of the characteristics was occurring parallel to the usual developments of the childhood mind. My conceptions have always been perceived as having a fabricated nature and so these have not had so strong a hold on me as they typically have on others. That inclination to see things more so for what they are than for what I wish things to be has always been there from my perspective. I don't think there is any need to read any more into this beyond the acceptance that such qualities of perception may naturally be more intense in some people for whatever reasons.
This kind of insight and the resulting perspectives did not square well with the perceptions and conceptions of most other people and it was cause for an intense need for more understanding of myself and of others which has also shaped my entire life, putting it on a course far different from that which would have been expected in the full context of all of the other conditions involved. I tend to view myself as an alien of some kind, mistakenly born on the wrong planet. Hopefully the paper work has been corrected now for the next time!
(mods: can we get a chuckle smiley that is a little more restrained?)
By the time I was in my late teens I had reviewed and examined most every known school of thought fairly well and began to incline in the direction of the Buddhadhamma. As my learning continued the Dhamma began to be increasingly understood as conforming harmoniously to my own insights and observations and suggested many of the best ways to further develop skill and understanding. By the time I was in my thirties I had established very clearly that all I knew of existence conformed fully to the Dhamma and that it's understanding and skillful means were in every way more complete and efficacious than all others. I knew this was the direct means for developing or perfecting my insight and wisdom. I then put my full confidence in the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha and continue to do so.
Last edited by
nathan on Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
But whoever walking, standing, sitting, or lying down overcomes thought, delighting in the stilling of thought: he's capable, a monk like this, of touching superlative self-awakening. § 110. {Iti 4.11; Iti 115}
t out of me... and i just kept reading more and more on buddhism