I am determined to abstain from pornography

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Training of Sila, the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Guy » Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:30 am

To be fair, it says more than just the fact that they like the way each other look. It points out that there is nothing more distracting and captivating. Which is good to know. If you can lessen sexual craving, or cut it off completely, then you've achieved a great deal.
Four types of letting go:

1) Giving; expecting nothing back in return
2) Throwing things away
3) Contentment; wanting to be here, not wanting to be anywhere else
4) "Teflon Mind"; having a mind which doesn't accumulate things

- Ajahn Brahm
User avatar
Guy
 
Posts: 762
Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 4:05 am
Location: Perth, Western Australia

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby BubbaBuddhist » Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:09 am

Maybe it's just me, but I think this is pretty obvious. Not one of Lord Buddha's more profound observations. Men and women (and women/women and men/men) have been ferociously attracted to each other forever. it's a no-brainer. This is one of those things you observe yourself. Hence the problems the posters are having controlling their desires to click-and-spank. Did you really need to read this in a book? I still say, unplug the computer and go for a walk. No need to quote suttas. Walk away. Get a hobby. Do something practical. Stop talking about it and take positive action. :soap:

J
Author of Redneck Buddhism: or Will You Reincarnate as Your Own Cousin?
User avatar
BubbaBuddhist
 
Posts: 640
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:55 am
Location: Knoxville, Tennessee

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Ben » Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:19 am

Hi Jon,

Bubbabuddhist wrote:Maybe it's just me, but I think this is pretty obvious. Not one of Lord Buddha's more profound observations. Men and women (and women/women and men/men) have been ferociously attracted to each other forever. it's a no-brainer. This is one of those things you observe yourself. Hence the problems the posters are having controlling their desires to click-and-spank. Did you really need to read this in a book? I still say, unplug the computer and go for a walk. No need to quote suttas. Walk away. Get a hobby. Do something practical. Stop talking about it and take positive action. :soap:

J


And yes, to talk about masturbation is a form of masturbation in itself.
But for many of us, its a necessary first step - to talk openly about something that one has some difficulty managing.
Your suggestion of getting a hobby, going for a walk or doing some positive action is excellent. Personally, I've found a good way to 'handle' (excuse the pun) my lust is to meditate.
kind regards

Ben
"Only those who take to meditation with good intentions can be assured of success. With the development of the purity and the power of the mind backed by the insight into the ultimate truth of nature, one might be able to do a lot of things in the right direction for the benefit of mankind."

Sayagyi U Ba Khin


Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief
UNHCR Syria Emergency Relief AppealTyphoon Haiyan Relief AppealKiva: (person to person micro-finance)

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
User avatar
Ben
Site Admin
 
Posts: 15795
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: Land of the sleeping gods

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby ground » Tue Sep 28, 2010 4:41 am

Sensual pleasures and dukkha go hand in hand. I think one has to meditate this over and over again until one feels this truth from the depth of one's heart. This is the antidot to any kind of sensual addiction. One has to feel disgust with one's ignorant habits that caused one's wandering in samsara from beginningless time and firmly decide "No. I am going to stop that now. This life is the most precious and very rare opportunity. If I am not going to stop that now this misery will be going on for ever and ever". The only and most excellent supports to stop ignorant habits are the three juwels.

Kind regards
User avatar
ground
 
Posts: 2592
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Aloka » Tue Sep 28, 2010 6:39 pm

The only and most excellent supports to stop ignorant habits are the three juwels.



....and hands that just firmly unplug the computer or TV rather than fondle genitals, might also be a good start. :P



.
User avatar
Aloka
 
Posts: 3265
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby ground » Tue Sep 28, 2010 7:15 pm

Aloka wrote:
The only and most excellent supports to stop ignorant habits are the three juwels.



....and hands that just firmly unplug the computer or TV rather than fondle genitals, might also be a good start. :P



.


Without knowing "why" and without having cultivated the faith of conviction that's probably pretty useless, i.e. bound to fail in all cases of sensual addiction.

Kind regards
User avatar
ground
 
Posts: 2592
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Aloka » Tue Sep 28, 2010 9:36 pm

.

Is it ? Well how is it that I know guys who are atheists who've given up watching porn just because they see it for what it is.


.
User avatar
Aloka
 
Posts: 3265
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby ground » Wed Sep 29, 2010 2:18 am

Aloka wrote:.

Is it ? Well how is it that I know guys who are atheists who've given up watching porn just because they see it for what it is.


.


I do not understand why you are referring to "atheists" in this context.
Anyway, what do they think it is?

Kind regards
User avatar
ground
 
Posts: 2592
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Vepacitta » Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:38 am

Well, whenever you boys are having a bout with the temptation to engage in onanism - just think of the words in my avatar (too small to read in the pic), which are:

"Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten ... so please ... think of the kittens!"

(Maybe that poster should be hung in every serious practitioner's bedroom :thinking: )

A public service message from Mt. Meru,

V.

NB - On a more serious note - for a monk or nun - porn or onanism (I like that word better) is a no-no. As for a lay-person - I guess it depends. The best porn is really inside one's own head - imo - and as to onanism - well - stream enterers can enjoy sensual pleasures - it's the other 3 levels that abstain - no pun intended - but yes - truly abstain from all sensual lusts. I think there's a balance here for us 'regular' folk is my point - another pun comes to mind here but I will forbear.
I'm your friendly, neighbourhood Asura
User avatar
Vepacitta
 
Posts: 299
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 3:58 pm
Location: Somewhere on the slopes of Mt. Meru

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Aloka » Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:34 am

TMingyur wrote:
I do not understand why you are referring to "atheists" in this context.
Anyway, what do they think it is?



I meant men who don't have any religious beliefs/are not Buddhists.

They think that the porn industry is very corrupt and riddled with crime and drugs. They realise that the sex isn't spontaneous and that it's staged with a cameraman and a director and that the participants get paid and so on and so forth.

Quite frankly I don't understand why this subject gets so much prominence in a Buddhist group....I guess it's probably because most of you are men - and many men have little control over their sexual lust.


Kind wishes,

Aloka :)
User avatar
Aloka
 
Posts: 3265
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby ground » Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:52 am

Aloka wrote:
TMingyur wrote:
I do not understand why you are referring to "atheists" in this context.
Anyway, what do they think it is?



I meant men who don't have any religious beliefs/are not Buddhists.

They think that the porn industry is very corrupt and riddled with crime and drugs. They realise that the sex isn't spontaneous and that it's staged with a cameraman and a director and that the participants get paid and so on and so forth.

They may be right with their assessment. However this will not lead them to liberation. Why? Because they may have reasons to abstain from this specific sensual pleasure but not do so in other cases of sensual pleasures. And this is the context here: Sensual addiction and dukkha. This topic here is just one example.


Aloka wrote:Quite frankly I don't understand why this subject gets so much prominence in a Buddhist group....I guess it's probably because most of you are men - and many men have little control over their sexual lust.

You may be right as to the karmic effects manifesting in human beings of masculine gender. But this exactly is good reason for this prominence ... and one should not forget that it is exemplary ... "just" examplary ...

Hit by even a small poisoned arrow the poison spreads in the whole body!

Kind regards
User avatar
ground
 
Posts: 2592
Joined: Wed Nov 25, 2009 6:01 am

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby beeblebrox » Wed Sep 29, 2010 4:57 am

Aloka wrote:Quite frankly I don't understand why this subject gets so much prominence in a Buddhist group....I guess it's probably because most of you are men - and many men have little control over their sexual lust.


Obviously many feel like it's a problem. They're being honest with themselves. (Isn't that a part of practice?) They're sincere about investigating this issue... so that they can resolve it for themselves. What's so hard to understand?

If it's not relevant to your own practice... and if you don't have any issues with it... then why make these posts at all? Some of your comments (like above) aren't really helpful.
User avatar
beeblebrox
 
Posts: 827
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 10:41 pm

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby Aloka » Wed Sep 29, 2010 9:46 am

.

Well considering I made a silly harmless joke : "Handcuffs and whips at dawn ?" to someone who in a discussion was starting to harass me rather like the Spanish Inquisition, ...who then on reading that, advised me: ''This is a family site'' ....I'm wondering if so much talk about porn addiction is good for the family either ?


Some of your comments (like above) aren't really helpful.



Oh please, Beeblebox,... a doubled up quote with Tenzin there... maybe its all unnecessarily heavy and you're taking things way too seriously ? - but hey, why not gang up on me now, with outrage about me being 'unhelpful' to you, guys?

Don't worry, I'll leave you to it ! :D

Bye for now.... I sincerely hope you all achieve your aims in life. :meditate:

.
User avatar
Aloka
 
Posts: 3265
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Re: I am determined to abstain from pornography

Postby bodom » Wed Sep 29, 2010 10:11 am

I think this thread has run its course.

:anjali:
The heart of the path is SO simple. No need for long explanations. Give up clinging to love and hate, just rest with things as they are. That is all I do in my own practice. Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. When you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing. Of course, there are dozens of meditation techniques to develop samadhi and many kinds of vipassana. But it all comes back to this - just let it all be. Step over here where it is cool, out of the battle. - Ajahn Chah
User avatar
bodom
 
Posts: 4539
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Previous

Return to Ethical Conduct

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest