Do you have a copy of Vism? If so, it might be a good place to start as well as the suttas.
Check out the section on anapana sati.
Its a section that I go back to over and over and over again. And its probably going to be a constant companion for the rest of my life.
Also, have a read of Ven Analayo's book "Satipatthana: the direct path to realization".
My recommendations are:
Retreat setting, preferably silent.
Maintenance of eight precepts and practice anapana.
And you're comments regarding grasping for attainment. One of the comments SN Goenka makes during the 20-day course is that craving immediately creates a[n insurmountable] barrier to its attainment.
Keep your sila, and maintain awareness on the touch of the breath and have no expectations.
All the very best with your (non) aspiration!
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •
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