Sharing: if it's so good, why don't we do more of it?
http://theconversation.edu.au/sharing-i ... of-it-6345
Food for thought ... and a thought about food
Kim
Sharing and community
Re: Sharing and community
Hi Kim,
Its an interesting article.
Over this past Summer I have been sharing produce with my next door neighbour who also grows some of his own vegetables. He recently gave me a whole lot of cow garlic bulbs and tree garlic bulbs.
My immediate thoughts are that over the last forty years we have become more isolated and insular and that people seem to not want to feel obliged to those they don't know nor know well.
kind regards,
Ben
Its an interesting article.
Over this past Summer I have been sharing produce with my next door neighbour who also grows some of his own vegetables. He recently gave me a whole lot of cow garlic bulbs and tree garlic bulbs.
My immediate thoughts are that over the last forty years we have become more isolated and insular and that people seem to not want to feel obliged to those they don't know nor know well.
kind regards,
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief • UNHCR
e: [email protected]..
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief • UNHCR
e: [email protected]..
- retrofuturist
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Re: Sharing and community
Greetings,
It's interesting, because on the flip side, if I share something with someone, or randomly give them something, I don't expect anything back in return.
Perhaps it's about not wanting to seen as a moocher? I don't like feeling I "owe" anybody anything or feeling indebted. Either way, I know my instincts aren't balanced in this regard...
Metta,
Retro.
My instinctual reaction to someone giving something to me, has always been for me to reciprocate.Ben wrote:My immediate thoughts are that over the last forty years we have become more isolated and insular and that people seem to not want to feel obliged to those they don't know nor know well.
It's interesting, because on the flip side, if I share something with someone, or randomly give them something, I don't expect anything back in return.
Perhaps it's about not wanting to seen as a moocher? I don't like feeling I "owe" anybody anything or feeling indebted. Either way, I know my instincts aren't balanced in this regard...
Metta,
Retro.
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
Re: Sharing and community
I work and live on-site during the work week. Its in a rural location and I am surrounded by farms on three sides and a state forest on the other. I am very reliant on my neighbours as they are on me. Its more pragmatic but we all look out for each other and drop what we are doing to help each other.
kind regards,
Ben
kind regards,
Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief • UNHCR
e: [email protected]..
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725
Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global Relief • UNHCR
e: [email protected]..
Re: Sharing and community
I can see most of these patterns in my own life -
- feeling good about giving but a bit uncomfortable about receiving (and a bit uncomfortable about the the lack of balance that creates)
- sharing easily and freely in both directions only with people I have known for a long time, mostly relatives or long-term neighbours.
That second point suggests a reason that sharing has dwindled in our society over the last (say) 50 years: families are smaller and everyone is more mobile, so we have far fewer long-term relationships outside the nuclear family.
Kim
- feeling good about giving but a bit uncomfortable about receiving (and a bit uncomfortable about the the lack of balance that creates)
- sharing easily and freely in both directions only with people I have known for a long time, mostly relatives or long-term neighbours.
That second point suggests a reason that sharing has dwindled in our society over the last (say) 50 years: families are smaller and everyone is more mobile, so we have far fewer long-term relationships outside the nuclear family.
Kim
Re: Sharing and community
Great article, thanks KimKim O'Hara wrote:Sharing: if it's so good, why don't we do more of it?
http://theconversation.edu.au/sharing-i ... of-it-6345
Food for thought ... and a thought about food
Kim
Sharing is an important reason why I feel so inspired by the monks! They receive their daily food from the laypeople, they depend on laypeople. The act of sharing is as impressive as giving others the opportunity to share, to give and to be there for others.
I do give unrequested presents from time to time. Tasty coffee for my mother when i visit her, some chocolate for stressed out friends or spicy Samosas for a neighbour who totally loves Samosas now When it comes to receiving, i often remind myself of exactly this: Not accepting a present means to deny others the opportunity to share and give. Accepting a present means to give others the opportunity to give and to share.
What i find problematic for myself, is explicitely asking others for something. Simply because i don't want to cause inconveniance (as mentioned in the article). I experienced it for a few times that i asked friends to hang out and chat when i really could use someone to talk - but people are busy, don't have lots of time and usually feel quite bad when they have to deny the request. Naturally one stops asking.
The matter is that offering others to help or share something with you may make you vulnerable and independence seems like a convenient solution. That may sound quite petty but maybe people rate the emotional cost of either feeling good via successful social interaction/ sharing and taking the risk of being rejected with a request. Since people tend to value safety very much, many would just avoid the risk and strive for independence.
- Ron-The-Elder
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Re: Sharing and community
Ben wrote:Its more pragmatic but we all look out for each other and drop what we are doing to help each other.
kind regards,
Ben
Suppose what you are doing is helping someone, perhaps one of your neighbors? What do you do then, Ben?
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
- Ron-The-Elder
- Posts: 1909
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2011 4:42 pm
- Location: Concord, New Hampshire, U.S.A.
Re: Sharing and community
Thanks for the article, Kim. Reminded me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h38srxvt6qE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h38srxvt6qE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
What Makes an Elder? :
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
A head of gray hairs doesn't mean one's an elder. Advanced in years, one's called an old fool.
But one in whom there is truth, restraint, rectitude, gentleness,self-control, he's called an elder, his impurities disgorged, enlightened.
-Dhammpada, 19, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
Re: Sharing and community
I'm involved in a "garden share" scheme here in the UK. A local Transition group has set up a website that allows people who want to grow food but have insufficient land, to get in touch with people who have land but who can't spare the time/labour to do the digging. We share the produce at an agreed ratio.
So as well as some extra cheap home-grown food, I have met some very nice neighbours.
Often, all that prevents us from sharing is the initial communication.
So as well as some extra cheap home-grown food, I have met some very nice neighbours.
Often, all that prevents us from sharing is the initial communication.
Re: Sharing and community
Again, this may reflect the fact that we don't know people around us as well as we would have a few decades ago when entertainment was face-to-face (not electronic), when people shared transport rather than each driving to work in their own cars, when children lived with or near their parents most of their lives, etc.Sam Vega wrote:Often, all that prevents us from sharing is the initial communication.
Can you remember your 'initial communication' with your parents? Or your siblings?
Kim