Joke!!! 2.0

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JeffR
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by JeffR »

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Therein what are 'six (types of) disrespect'? One dwells without respect, without deference for the Teacher; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Teaching; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Order; one dwells without respect, without deference for the precepts; one dwells without respect, without deference for heedfulness; one dwells without respect, without deference for hospitality. These are six (types of) disrespect.
:Vibh 945
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retrofuturist
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by retrofuturist »

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"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"It is natural that one who knows and sees things as they really are is disenchanted and dispassionate." (AN 10.2)

"Overcome the liar by truth." (Dhp 223)
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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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Meezer77
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Meezer77 »

Not really a joke as such, but a video of my cat Shug eating chicken. The noises he makes are hilarious

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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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This one is the header image of a FB group, "Nondual Humor" - https://www.facebook.com/groups/1481610875491274/ which looks like our kind of fun.

:coffee:
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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk »

Ponton: You never cease to surprise me, sir.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: With me, surprises are rarely unexpected.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [about Bizu - dead] It's amazing how he fell perfectly into the chalk outline on the floor.

Ponton: I think they drew the outline after he was shot.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Ah! We must be working with some kind of mastermind!


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[footsteps are heard in the background]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Shhhh! Footsteps. It's a young woman... 30 to 35 years old... 5'2" ,5'4", brunette. And she is wearing high heels. Perhaps a bit too formal for the afternoon. And she has on... Chanel N°5.

[a male in his forties walks in]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Is anyone with you?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Do you have a pair of high heels in that bag?

Yuri: No.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Not even a small pair of pumps?

Yuri: No.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He is not 'pushing up the daisies,' he is DEAD!

Bizu: [glares] It's an idiom!

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: *You*, sir, are the idiom.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?
===================================================================

Nicole: Would you like me to stay behind and help you?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: That is a generous offer, Nicole. But I am quite sensitive to office gender politics. And in today's world, the slightest gesture can be misinterpreted as harrasment. And it is late, and I would prefer not to put you or me into that delicate situation. Agreed?

Nicole: Yes, I agree.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: [gives her a quick kiss on her lips] Well, lets seal it with a kiss. And I'll get back to work.

[slaps her on her butt as she goes out]
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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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robertk
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by robertk »

My neighbor knocked on my door at 3:00 AM. Can you believe it, 3:00 AM?




Lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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Mettāya,
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

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DNS
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by DNS »

When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
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Coëmgenu
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Coëmgenu »

DNS wrote: Tue Feb 20, 2018 6:34 pm When I see curling at the Olympics I tend to think "brooming, sweeping . . . seriously; this is a sport?!"

I'll bet their wives say, "look at him sweeping; at home I can't even get him to take out the garbage."
It's funny to see Americans point out the sweeping as something funny about curling.

In Canada, it is also considered something of a "strange" sport, but we Canadians just presume that the sweeping "comes with the package", so to speak. We don't even question it. It's " normal". Instead, the humour inherent for us comes from the fanaticism of the crowd.

Go look up literally (not figuratively) any national or Olympic curling match ever. Listen to the crowd *expletive* yell at that sweeper. Listen to that passion.

That is what makes curling truly and profoundly inexplicable.
If you see a river, pray that beings gain entrance into the stream and into the ocean of wisdom. If you see a reservoir, pray that beings swiftly taste the one taste of the Dharma. If you see a pond, pray that beings become great in locution and skillful in preaching. If you see a well, pray that beings draw deep from the well of reason to disclose all dharmas. If you see a spring, pray that beings have inexhaustible roots of virtue. If you see a bridge, pray that beings carry all across to safety, as via a bridge. If you see a waterfall, pray that all beings cleanse the stains of delusion.
Meezer77
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Re: Joke!!! 2.0

Post by Meezer77 »

Some humour from my culture

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