Questions about lust/sexual desire.

[JC938]

Hi,

I have a few questions about lust. Please answer if you know for sure.

1. Is lust/sexual desire a defilement/klesa?

2. Is lust/sexual desire is to be abandone? Or is it to be moderated?

3. Did Buddha or arahants have sexual desire anymore or they completely free from sexual desire/lust.

4. Can lust/sexual desire be completely removed if I practice properly or it will always be there?

5. In 2nd truth in the 4 noble truth, the desire which is the cause of suffering, is Buddha talking mainly about sexual desire?

6. Does sexual desire arise because of my thoughts? And will it go away if I think properly and watch my thought?

Thanks.

[JC938]

Please answer, I'm having problem with lust and I need to solve this problem.

Thanks.

[SarathW]

1. Is lust/sexual desire a defilement/klesa? Yes

2. Is lust/sexual desire is to be abandone? Or is it to be moderated? According to Buddhism lay people are allowed sexual activities with reservation.

3. Did Buddha or arahants have sexual desire anymore or they completely free from sexual desire/lust? They are completely free.

4. Can lust/sexual desire be completely removed if I practice properly or it will always be there? You eliminate sexual desire by becoming Anagami.

5. In 2nd truth in the 4 noble truth, the desire which is the cause of suffering, is Buddha talking mainly about sexual desire? Second truth is about Dependent Origination. Sex is only a minor point in my opinion.

6. Does sexual desire arise because of my thoughts? And will it go away if I think properly and watch my thought? I think it is a result of bodily and mental phenomena. The best thing to be mindful of sexual desire rather than fighting it. If you are a layperson observe the five precepts. If you can't observe the third precepts at least try to observe the other four to start with.

[Lucas Oliveira]

"Suffering, as a noble truth, is this: Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering, sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are suffering; association with the loathed is suffering, dissociation from the loved is suffering, not to get what one wants is suffering — in short, suffering is the five categories of clinging objects.

"The origin of suffering, as a noble truth, is this: It is the craving that produces renewal of being accompanied by enjoyment and lust, and enjoying this and that; in other words, craving for sensual desires, craving for being, craving for non-being.

"Cessation of suffering, as a noble truth, is this: It is remainderless fading and ceasing, giving up, relinquishing, letting go and rejecting, of that same craving.

"The way leading to cessation of suffering, as a noble truth, is this: It is simply the noble eightfold path, that is to say, right view, right intention; right speech, right action, right livelihood; right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration.

https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .nymo.html

[JC938]

1. Is lust/sexual desire a defilement/klesa? Yes

2. Is lust/sexual desire is to be abandone? Or is it to be moderated? According to Buddhism lay people are allowed sexual activities with reservation.

3. Did Buddha or arahants have sexual desire anymore or they completely free from sexual desire/lust? They are completely free.

4. Can lust/sexual desire be completely removed if I practice properly or it will always be there? You eliminate sexual desire by becoming Anagami.

5. In 2nd truth in the 4 noble truth, the desire which is the cause of suffering, is Buddha talking mainly about sexual desire? Second truth is about Dependent Origination. Sex is only a minor point in my opinion.

6. Does sexual desire arise because of my thoughts? And will it go away if I think properly and watch my thought? I think it is a result of bodily and mental phenomena. The best thing to be mindful of sexual desire rather than fighting it. If you are a layperson observe the five precepts. If you can't observe the third precepts at least try to observe the other four to start with.

Thanks very much.

[cappuccino]

Does sexual desire arise because of my thoughts?

Dependent Arising


"if this exists, that exists; if this ceases to exist, that also ceases to exist"

[justindesilva]

Please answer, I'm having problem with lust and I need to solve this problem.

Thanks.

Hope you understand what emotions are. Sexual feelings arise out of emotions and emotions arise out of desires, also called Tanha. Kama Tanha is expressed as sensual desires.
When we see a woman we take it that she is born to quench our desires, whereas it is a notion mind made. We men create a picture of beauty which is temporary. This picture is made with colours and forms which are impermanent.
I wish to tell you an experience of a friend of mine in the south pacific long ago. My friend was a sex maniac and was drawn in to sex with a beautiful girl. He took her in to his bed , one night to find that he was suffering from from VD next day with an infected male organ. He suffered in facing the society and his family. His desires of beauty turned him into a wreck.
The beauty that we see in a flower perishes the next day explaining impermanence. Impermanence is a good subject to understand the vanity in desire of sex. Further sexual desires are a draw back in our daily desires, a fact , to be realised by observation and experience.

[Inedible]

You'll miss it when it is gone. Until then, fighting it with guilt and shame makes it worse. Stress makes it worse. But try to understand it. Don't try to shut it down by force. It is like turning off your television by smashing it with a hammer.

[SteRo]

... Please answer if you know for sure.

I apologize for deviating from this but if I tried to answer your questions I could only make reference to theravada doctrine thus expressing that I know what theravada doctrine has to say about this and leaving investigation of own experience in this regard up to you.

[DooDoot]

1. Is lust/sexual desire a defilement/klesa?

Yes.

2. Is lust/sexual desire is to be abandone? Or is it to be moderated?

In the Noble Path, it is to be abandoned. In the five precept path for laypeople, it is to be moderated.

3. Did Buddha or arahants have sexual desire anymore or they completely free from sexual desire/lust.

Completely free.

4. Can lust/sexual desire be completely removed if I practice properly or it will always be there?

Completely removed.

5. In 2nd truth in the 4 noble truth, the desire which is the cause of suffering, is Buddha talking mainly about sexual desire?

No. Three types of craving: (i) sensual craving; (ii) craving to be; (iii) craving not-to-be.

6a. Does sexual desire arise because of my thoughts?

Sexual thoughts mostly arise because of sexual desire rather than the other way around (refer to SN 14.12) although, naturally, sexual thoughts will increase sexual desire.

6b. And will it go away if I think properly and watch my thought?

It will go away if you think properly. Think properly will calm & dissolve sexual desire. Refer to MN 19 and SN 35.127.

Best wishes

[Dharmasherab]

1. Is lust/sexual desire a defilement/klesa?

Yes.

2. Is lust/sexual desire is to be abandoned? Or is it to be moderated?

If one wishes to follow the path to Enlightenment, then it is necessary to abandon as many forms of desire as possible (including sexual desire). If you look at the life of the Buddha, acting upon sexual desire was one aspect of his way of life which he relinquished when he left his household to live as a mendicant. To follow the middle path means to train the mind to let go of desire as well as aversion.
As for lay Buddhists who have fully settled into the householders life, the bare minimum standard for them are the 5 Precepts, where the 3rd precepts is inclusive but not limited to moderation of sexual desire.
It all depends on how much one is willing to sacrifice to reach enlightenment. Those who are not interested in reaching for enlightenment in a swift manner, may be content with moderation. But for others who consider enlightenment as their main goal, then for them it is recommended to abandon sexual desire altogether. Abandoning is not forced upon the mind, but instead it is encouraged to look into the true nature of sexual desire - to see it as impermanent and unsatisfactory, and based on this insight, to let go of sexual desire.

3. Did Buddha or arahants have sexual desire anymore or they completely free from sexual desire/lust.

Buddha and Arahants are enlightened being. One of the qualities of Enlightened beings is that they are free from defilements. They are free from the three poisons of desire, aversion and delusion. Sexual desire comes under the broader category of 'desire'. Therefore, Enlightened beings according to Buddhist teachings do not have sexual desire.

There are the 4 stages of Enlightenment - Sotapanna (Stream-Enterer), Sakadagami (Once-Returner), Anagami (Non-Returner) and Arahant (Foe-Destroyer). Human beings all the way upto Sakadagami will have sensual desire (sexual desire is one aspect of sensual desire). When one reaches the Non-Returner state then along with that the sensual desire is fully overcome. So on the path towards Enlightenment, before full enlightenment is reached, at the level of Non-returner, the sexual desire is fully overcome.

4. Can lust/sexual desire be completely removed if I practice properly or it will always be there?

Yes it can be. But one needs to be patient. One needs to give time for the practice for it to bring about effects on the mind. Most of us have 'trained' our minds to see that acting upon sexual desire as a highly rewarding activity. Therefore it can take time to overcome this. Throughout our existence in Samsara a lot of us have spent more time indulging in sensual pleasures as opposed to transcending them. This is why patience is necessary to overcome the compulsive attitude towards results from practice.

5. In 2nd truth in the 4 noble truth, the desire which is the cause of suffering, is Buddha talking mainly about sexual desire?

The 2nd Noble Truth does include desire as a cause for suffering. But to be more clear on this, it is the clinging, the attachment which causes suffering. This clinging to things which undergo change and therefore not having the ability to give us satisfaction. But what is the cause for desire? It is Ignorance (Avijja). Ignorance in Buddhism means not having the full understanding of the 4NT. It means not seeing the true nature of things (that conditioned things and thoughts are ever changing, that they are unsatisfactory and not-self). The desire to conditioned things (including sexual desire) is because of Avijja.

As for desire, there are three types of desire, (1) The desire of 'becoming' (Bhava Thanha), The desire for 'non-existence' (Vibhava Thanha) and sensual desire (Kama Thanha). For humans, sensual desire is any type of desire based on the six different sense bases (eye - vision, nose - smell, tongue - taste, ear - sound, body - tactile sensation, heat/cold, mind - mind objects). Sexual desire is one aspect of sensual desire among many different ways sensual desires can arise. Sexual desire usually involves the eye faculty (seeing the object of sexual attraction), ear faculty (hearing the voice of the person we are attracted to), mind faculty (sexual thoughts in the mind) and body faculty (the physical activity of sex).

6. Does sexual desire arise because of my thoughts? And will it go away if I think properly and watch my thought?

As I mentioned above, sexual desire arises like all other desire arises because of not knowing the true nature of things (Avijja). Following the N8FP is the way to transcend this.

[anagaarika]

Dharmasherab´s answer is quite spot-on so I´m just going to elaborate on certain points and add some experience from my practice.

1. Is lust/sexual desire a defilement/klesa?

Absolutely, this cannot be denied. Although there are many people in the community who would argue that it is possible to even have family and still practice dhamma in great depth, I think it can be at the very best non-detrimental under some circumstances and for some people, but I don´t see how it could ever be conducive to one´s practice. One can either head towards liberation, which means away from the sense objects and desires, or one can indulge and thus be less free. It is fairly impossible to proceed in both directions - that would be similar to wanting to both lose and gain weight at the same time.

2. Is lust/sexual desire is to be abandone? Or is it to be moderated?

As already mentioned, this very much depends on whether you are a lay person or a monastic. For monastics any type of sexual behaviour is of course out of question. As for lay people, I think you should aim for your personal best, but I have very bad experience with trying to achieve more than I actually could at the given moment. Abandoning sexual desire is extremely tiresome and frustrating when you´re not ready and don´t have the right method, but extremely effortless and smooth if you are ready and have the right method. It took a lot of re-iteration for me but once I managed to sort it out I was totally shocked how incredibly easy and unforced it was. Once you put in the right causes and these causes ripe, it will fall off by itself. It takes a lot of understanding, a lot of scrutiny and a lot of vigilance, but it can be done. And I should perhaps add that having a certain amount of first-hand experience with women is probably a pre-requisite too - it shows you very clearly how much suffering goes with that.

4. Can lust/sexual desire be completely removed if I practice properly or it will always be there?

Of course it can, because the deeper you get, the more refined your perception, thinking etc. becomes and the less you are attracted to coarse things. A lot of people don´t understand that giving up sex is not a loss, it is exchange for something much better. It is a gradual process, but once you gain the momentum you will start to enjoy it and aim for higher states of consciousness which are less dukha than sex.