un8- wrote: ↑Mon Jul 05, 2021 7:03 am
Hello, this is my first post here, and came to ask the only one important question I have regarding the dhamma, as someone who has tried to practice for several years.
From my position
- I don't know if rebirth is true or that I will be reborn, so when I die my life is over
- As a 36 year old, I have another 40-50 years at best to live, so I want to enjoy life
- Even though I know sensual pleasures are impermanent, I know pleasant feelings are Impermanent, and I know access to sensual pleasures are impermanent (I may go blind, lose my teeth, lose internet, money, etc..) I still want to enjoy sensual pleasures in the here and now
So faith, ideology, and metaphysics aside, which are things I can't verify here and now like rebirth, why should I give up sensual pleasures?
Take pornography for example, it takes zero effort to load up a website, it doesn't physically harm you, it can mentally harm you if you're obsessively addicted, but what's wrong with someone spending less than 20 minutes a day getting the urge out and then moving on? I know the pleasant feeling of an orgasm is extremely short and momentarily but in the moment it feels good and then when the feeling is gone, you move on.
No matter how many suttas I've read on this topic, or how many hours I've spent meditating, I can't rationally nor experientially arrive at a point where I give up sensual pleasures.
Thank you in advance for your input
Hello,
You don't have to give up sensual pleasures. What you have to give up is greed, ill will and delusion towards sensual pleasures.
There is no problem on enjoying sensual plesures as long as they don't raise greed or ill will in you.
The problem is that we are adicts to sensual plesures, so the only way to abandon this adiction is to say no to a lot of sensual plasures:
The only reason you’re not seeing sense desires as a problem of addiction is because you are refusing to give them up. All you need
to do is say “no” to sensual cravings that manifest in your day-today life and then very quickly you will feel how deeply addicted you
are. You’re never going to see how addicted to cigarettes, alcohol or heroin you are until you try to quit. That’s when you will feel the
weight of it. So the necessary step for giving up an addiction is to stop giving in to it even while you still want to. By restraining yourself
physically, your dependence will become more apparent. Then you will have to be willing to accept and endure the inevitable pains of withdrawal. For as long as it takes.
An alcoholic don't have to give up visiting pubs, what he has to give up is drinking alcohol, you can go to a pub and just drink a coke, the problem is that this isn't going to work, if an alcoholic goes to a pub is going to get drunk for sure.
The reason to give up greed, ill will and delusion should be obvios for you, it isn't just because you don't want to be reborn, it's because yo want to stop suffering here and know in this life:
- dukkha (suffering, incapable of satisfying, painful) is an innate characteristic of existence in the realm of samsara;
- samudaya (origin, arising) of this dukkha, which arises or "comes together" with taṇhā ("craving, desire or attachment");
- nirodha (cessation, ending) of this dukkha can be attained by the renouncement or letting go of this taṇhā; [7][8][9][10]
- magga (path, Noble Eightfold Path) is the path leading to renouncement of tanha and cessation of dukkha. [11][12]
This book is free, you can read:
5. Addiction to Sensuality—33
6. No Need to Say No to Everything—39
I think that the explanation is very clear, why you have to abandon desire and what pleasures you don't need to say no.
https://www.hillsidehermitage.org/new-book/
Anyway if you still have doubt's after reading just ask.
Metta