Dhamma on Gratitude

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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devaloka
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:35 pm

Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by devaloka »

Dear all,

How should one express gratitude for ones parents and grandparents?

How can one best honor and benefit those who passed away that you are grateful for?

And how to be express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general? In other religions one can pray to thank God. Whats the dharmic equivalent?


Thank you

:anjali:

Mere suffering exists, no sufferer is found;
The deed is, but no doer of the deed is there;
Nibbàna is, but not the man who enters it;
The path is, but no traveler on it is seen
Ontheway
Posts: 3062
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2021 3:35 pm

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by Ontheway »

devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 1:10 am Dear all,

How should one express gratitude for ones parents and grandparents?

How can one best honor and benefit those who passed away that you are grateful for?

And how to be express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general? In other religions one can pray to thank God. Whats the dharmic equivalent?


Thank you

:anjali:
Hi, just my opinion...

For parents or grandparents, we just need to spend time with them, support them (either financially, physically or emotionally), always be with them during hard times. Even if one moved out to stay with spouse, he/she can always give them a call or visit them during weekends. Companionship would be the best.

For departed relatives (reborn as ghosts), we should do meritorious deeds in their name, eg: donate for charity organisation, give food Dana to Sangha, supporting temple activities, donate food (or contribute for shelter) for homeless people...after that, we need to share the merits with all departed relatives. They will gain much happiness through the act of Anumodana.

To express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general, that is to enjoy a wholesome balanced life, endowed with at least Five Precepts. Never be succumbed to negative things such as misusing drugs, prostitution, committing crimes etc. Avoid hedonistic and destructive lifestyles. Associate with wise people and live a blameless life. Try to be a source of happiness for your family and friends.

:anjali:
Hiriottappasampannā,
sukkadhammasamāhitā;
Santo sappurisā loke,
devadhammāti vuccare.

https://suttacentral.net/ja6/en/chalmer ... ight=false
SarathW
Posts: 21184
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2012 2:49 am

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by SarathW »

8. Whoever being affluent, does not support his mother and father who are old, and past their prime — this is the cause of his downfall.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .piya.html
"The following should be looked upon as the six quarters. The parents should be looked upon as the East, teachers as the South, wife and children as the West, friends and associates as the North, servants and employees as the Nadir, ascetics and brahmans as the Zenith.[8]

"In five ways, young householder, a child should minister to his parents as the East:


(i) Having supported me I shall support them,
(ii) I shall do their duties,
(iii) I shall keep the family tradition,
(iv) I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance,
(v) furthermore I shall offer alms in honor of my departed
relatives.[9]
"In five ways, young householder, the parents thus ministered to as the East by their children, show their compassion:


(i) they restrain them from evil,
(ii) they encourage them to do good,
(iii) they train them for a profession,
(iv) they arrange a suitable marriage,
(v) at the proper time they hand over their inheritance to them.
"In these five ways do children minister to their parents as the East and the parents show their compassion to their children. Thus is the East covered by them and made safe and secure.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .nara.html
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”
devaloka
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:35 pm

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by devaloka »

Ontheway wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 2:19 am
devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 1:10 am Dear all,

How should one express gratitude for ones parents and grandparents?

How can one best honor and benefit those who passed away that you are grateful for?

And how to be express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general? In other religions one can pray to thank God. Whats the dharmic equivalent?


Thank you

:anjali:
Hi, just my opinion...

For parents or grandparents, we just need to spend time with them, support them (either financially, physically or emotionally), always be with them during hard times. Even if one moved out to stay with spouse, he/she can always give them a call or visit them during weekends. Companionship would be the best.

For departed relatives (reborn as ghosts), we should do meritorious deeds in their name, eg: donate for charity organisation, give food Dana to Sangha, supporting temple activities, donate food (or contribute for shelter) for homeless people...after that, we need to share the merits with all departed relatives. They will gain much happiness through the act of Anumodana.

To express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general, that is to enjoy a wholesome balanced life, endowed with at least Five Precepts. Never be succumbed to negative things such as misusing drugs, prostitution, committing crimes etc. Avoid hedonistic and destructive lifestyles. Associate with wise people and live a blameless life. Try to be a source of happiness for your family and friends.

:anjali:
Much appreciated thank you,

I havent heard of the term Anumodana. Will need to read up on this. Will this also work if they are not reborn as ghosts but in other and higher planes?

SarathW wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 3:43 am
8. Whoever being affluent, does not support his mother and father who are old, and past their prime — this is the cause of his downfall.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .piya.html
"The following should be looked upon as the six quarters. The parents should be looked upon as the East, teachers as the South, wife and children as the West, friends and associates as the North, servants and employees as the Nadir, ascetics and brahmans as the Zenith.[8]

"In five ways, young householder, a child should minister to his parents as the East:


(i) Having supported me I shall support them,
(ii) I shall do their duties,
(iii) I shall keep the family tradition,
(iv) I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance,
(v) furthermore I shall offer alms in honor of my departed
relatives.[9]
"In five ways, young householder, the parents thus ministered to as the East by their children, show their compassion:


(i) they restrain them from evil,
(ii) they encourage them to do good,
(iii) they train them for a profession,
(iv) they arrange a suitable marriage,
(v) at the proper time they hand over their inheritance to them.
"In these five ways do children minister to their parents as the East and the parents show their compassion to their children. Thus is the East covered by them and made safe and secure.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .nara.html

Very helpful Sutta thank you it is of great help

Mere suffering exists, no sufferer is found;
The deed is, but no doer of the deed is there;
Nibbàna is, but not the man who enters it;
The path is, but no traveler on it is seen
Ontheway
Posts: 3062
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2021 3:35 pm

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by Ontheway »

devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:10 pm
Ontheway wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 2:19 am
devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 1:10 am Dear all,

How should one express gratitude for ones parents and grandparents?

How can one best honor and benefit those who passed away that you are grateful for?

And how to be express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general? In other religions one can pray to thank God. Whats the dharmic equivalent?


Thank you

:anjali:
Hi, just my opinion...

For parents or grandparents, we just need to spend time with them, support them (either financially, physically or emotionally), always be with them during hard times. Even if one moved out to stay with spouse, he/she can always give them a call or visit them during weekends. Companionship would be the best.

For departed relatives (reborn as ghosts), we should do meritorious deeds in their name, eg: donate for charity organisation, give food Dana to Sangha, supporting temple activities, donate food (or contribute for shelter) for homeless people...after that, we need to share the merits with all departed relatives. They will gain much happiness through the act of Anumodana.

To express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general, that is to enjoy a wholesome balanced life, endowed with at least Five Precepts. Never be succumbed to negative things such as misusing drugs, prostitution, committing crimes etc. Avoid hedonistic and destructive lifestyles. Associate with wise people and live a blameless life. Try to be a source of happiness for your family and friends.

:anjali:
Much appreciated thank you,

I havent heard of the term Anumodana. Will need to read up on this. Will this also work if they are not reborn as ghosts but in other and higher planes?

SarathW wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 3:43 am
8. Whoever being affluent, does not support his mother and father who are old, and past their prime — this is the cause of his downfall.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .piya.html
"The following should be looked upon as the six quarters. The parents should be looked upon as the East, teachers as the South, wife and children as the West, friends and associates as the North, servants and employees as the Nadir, ascetics and brahmans as the Zenith.[8]

"In five ways, young householder, a child should minister to his parents as the East:


(i) Having supported me I shall support them,
(ii) I shall do their duties,
(iii) I shall keep the family tradition,
(iv) I shall make myself worthy of my inheritance,
(v) furthermore I shall offer alms in honor of my departed
relatives.[9]
"In five ways, young householder, the parents thus ministered to as the East by their children, show their compassion:


(i) they restrain them from evil,
(ii) they encourage them to do good,
(iii) they train them for a profession,
(iv) they arrange a suitable marriage,
(v) at the proper time they hand over their inheritance to them.
"In these five ways do children minister to their parents as the East and the parents show their compassion to their children. Thus is the East covered by them and made safe and secure.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .nara.html

Very helpful Sutta thank you it is of great help
Hi, maybe you can read Tirokudda Sutta.
https://suttacentral.net/kp7

Only ghosts can gain direct benefits (food, water, clothes, etc.) from Anumodana when their living relatives share merits with them. If the departed ones reborn to Heavenly realms and become Devas (Gods), they might or might not knowing our act of sharing merits, since they maybe too busy with their new heaven life up there. If those departed ones reborn to human realm or animal realm, then there will be no effect. Or of they fallen to Hells, they cannot perform Anumodana too as they are being tormented there.

But Buddha advised us to always perform meritorious deeds and share merits for the departed ones, because there are immeasurable number of them in the ghost realm waiting for us, since Samsara is long and without a definite beginning.
Hiriottappasampannā,
sukkadhammasamāhitā;
Santo sappurisā loke,
devadhammāti vuccare.

https://suttacentral.net/ja6/en/chalmer ... ight=false
devaloka
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:35 pm

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by devaloka »

Ontheway wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:31 pm
devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:10 pm
Ontheway wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 2:19 am

Hi, just my opinion...

For parents or grandparents, we just need to spend time with them, support them (either financially, physically or emotionally), always be with them during hard times. Even if one moved out to stay with spouse, he/she can always give them a call or visit them during weekends. Companionship would be the best.

For departed relatives (reborn as ghosts), we should do meritorious deeds in their name, eg: donate for charity organisation, give food Dana to Sangha, supporting temple activities, donate food (or contribute for shelter) for homeless people...after that, we need to share the merits with all departed relatives. They will gain much happiness through the act of Anumodana.

To express gratefulness for being in a good spot in general, that is to enjoy a wholesome balanced life, endowed with at least Five Precepts. Never be succumbed to negative things such as misusing drugs, prostitution, committing crimes etc. Avoid hedonistic and destructive lifestyles. Associate with wise people and live a blameless life. Try to be a source of happiness for your family and friends.

:anjali:
Much appreciated thank you,

I havent heard of the term Anumodana. Will need to read up on this. Will this also work if they are not reborn as ghosts but in other and higher planes?


Very helpful Sutta thank you it is of great help
Hi, maybe you can read Tirokudda Sutta.
https://suttacentral.net/kp7

Only ghosts can gain direct benefits (food, water, clothes, etc.) from Anumodana when their living relatives share merits with them. If the departed ones reborn to Heavenly realms and become Devas (Gods), they might or might not knowing our act of sharing merits, since they maybe too busy with their new heaven life up there. If those departed ones reborn to human realm or animal realm, then there will be no effect. Or of they fallen to Hells, they cannot perform Anumodana too as they are being tormented there.

But Buddha advised us to always perform meritorious deeds and share merits for the departed ones, because there are immeasurable number of them in the ghost realm waiting for us, since Samsara is long and without a definite beginning.
Thank you this is very valuable and helpful information

:anjali:

Mere suffering exists, no sufferer is found;
The deed is, but no doer of the deed is there;
Nibbàna is, but not the man who enters it;
The path is, but no traveler on it is seen
Ontheway
Posts: 3062
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2021 3:35 pm

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by Ontheway »

devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:34 pm
Ontheway wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:31 pm
devaloka wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 12:10 pm
Much appreciated thank you,

I havent heard of the term Anumodana. Will need to read up on this. Will this also work if they are not reborn as ghosts but in other and higher planes?





Very helpful Sutta thank you it is of great help
Hi, maybe you can read Tirokudda Sutta.
https://suttacentral.net/kp7

Only ghosts can gain direct benefits (food, water, clothes, etc.) from Anumodana when their living relatives share merits with them. If the departed ones reborn to Heavenly realms and become Devas (Gods), they might or might not knowing our act of sharing merits, since they maybe too busy with their new heaven life up there. If those departed ones reborn to human realm or animal realm, then there will be no effect. Or of they fallen to Hells, they cannot perform Anumodana too as they are being tormented there.

But Buddha advised us to always perform meritorious deeds and share merits for the departed ones, because there are immeasurable number of them in the ghost realm waiting for us, since Samsara is long and without a definite beginning.
Thank you this is very valuable and helpful information

:anjali:
Welcome.
We are learning from each other. :hug:
Hiriottappasampannā,
sukkadhammasamāhitā;
Santo sappurisā loke,
devadhammāti vuccare.

https://suttacentral.net/ja6/en/chalmer ... ight=false
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bodom
Posts: 7215
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 6:18 pm
Location: San Antonio, Texas

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by bodom »

You may find this book of collected Dhamma talks on gratitude by senior monks in the Ajahn Chah tradition helpful:

Gratitude
https://www.abhayagiri.org/books/567-gratitude

:anjali:
Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.

- BB
devaloka
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2016 3:35 pm

Re: Dhamma on Gratitude

Post by devaloka »

bodom wrote: Sat Oct 23, 2021 5:41 pm You may find this book of collected Dhamma talks on gratitude by senior monks in the Ajahn Chah tradition helpful:

Gratitude
https://www.abhayagiri.org/books/567-gratitude

:anjali:
Really great resource thank you
:anjali:

Mere suffering exists, no sufferer is found;
The deed is, but no doer of the deed is there;
Nibbàna is, but not the man who enters it;
The path is, but no traveler on it is seen
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