i can't help but notice that almost all teachers i've come across teaching mettā have included a self-mettā component. such as, 'may i be well & happy'
they often even say that before wishing any other beings well.
i read 'deliverance of the heart' (https://seeingthroughthenet.net/wp-cont ... _Heart.pdf) a little more than 3 years ago, and i agree with venerable ñāṇananda. i even tried to abandon what he said to look for other evidence and arrived at a more appreciative understanding of his argument.
self-mettā is not the buddha's teaching. i am going to post the sutta below because i think it needs to be seen.
there are four other translations to pick from on that link; i find them all to be mostly the same. i think it's no coincidence that i hear less of this original teaching and more of modern methods. buddha predicted this (https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitak ... .than.html)https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/snp.1.08.budd.html wrote:[He] Who seeks to promote his welfare,
Having glimpsed the state of perfect peace,
Should be able, honest and upright,
Gentle in speech, meek and not proud.
Contented, he ought to be easy to support,
Not over-busy, and simple in living.
Tranquil his senses, let him be prudent,
And not brazen, nor fawning on families.
Also, he must refrain from any action
That gives the wise reason to reprove him.
(Then let him cultivate the thought:)
May all be well and secure,
May all beings be happy!
Whatever living creatures there be,
Without exception, weak or strong,
Long, huge or middle-sized,
Or short, minute or bulky,
Whether visible or invisible,
And those living far or near,
The born and those seeking birth,
May all beings be happy!
Let none deceive or decry
His fellow anywhere;
Let none wish others harm
In resentment or in hate.
Just as with her own life
A mother shields from hurt
Her own son, her only child,
Let all-embracing thoughts
For all beings be yours.
Cultivate an all-embracing mind of love
For all throughout the universe,
In all its height, depth and breadth —
Love that is untroubled
And beyond hatred or enmity.
As you stand, walk, sit or lie,
So long as you are awake,
Pursue this awareness with your might:
It is deemed the Divine State here.
Holding no more to wrong beliefs,
With virtue and vision of the ultimate,
And having overcome all sensual desire,
Never in a womb is one born again.
the image i get from karaniya sutta is that a love embracing all beings is selfless, even a sacrifice. instead of focusing on your own (material) welfare you wish for the welfare of others. like a mother gives up and sacrifices much for her children, you cultivate a feeling of love that is more fulfilling than your own self-interest.
this sutta demonstrates the reciprocal relationship between self and others. in the beginning it states that this (the rest of the sutta) is what you do in order to attain your own happiness. and this is consistent with another sutta, the simile of the acrobat
{thanissaro's translation says 'the practice' rather than mindfulness}https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn47/sn47.019.olen.html wrote:[The Buddha said:]
Just like the assistant Medakathalika said to her master:
"I will look after myself,"
so should you, monks, practice the establishment of mindfulness.
You should (also) practice the establishment of mindfulness (by saying)
"I will look after others."
Looking after oneself, one looks after others.
Looking after others, one looks after oneself.
And how does one look after others by looking after oneself?
By practicing (mindfulness), by developing (it), by doing (it) a lot.
And how does one look after oneself by looking after others?
By patience, by non-harming, by loving kindness, by caring (for others).
(Thus) looking after oneself, one looks after others;
and looking after others, one looks after oneself.
doing mettā is how you look after yourself by looking after others. (this is what should be done for he who seeks to promote his own welfare) looking after others by looking after oneself is a separate treatment
i did find one particular sutta regarding one's self-interest.
except that it is a spiritual self-interest. there is no sacrifice of one's practice to cultivate selfless love for all beings. even in giving up one's life a mother does no harm to herself. there's nothing that will serve you better by not relinquishing it. giving up is a gain.https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.159.than.html wrote:"'This body comes into being through craving. And yet it is by relying on craving that craving is to be abandoned.' Thus was it said. And in reference to what was it said? There is the case, sister, where a monk hears, 'The monk named such-and-such, they say, through the ending of the fermentations, has entered & remains in the fermentation-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having known & realized them for himself in the here & now.' The thought occurs to him, 'I hope that I, too, will — through the ending of the fermentations — enter & remain in the fermentation-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having known & realized them for myself in the here & now.' Then he eventually abandons craving, having relied on craving. 'This body comes into being through craving. And yet it is by relying on craving that craving is to be abandoned.' Thus was it said. And in reference to this was it said.
"'This body comes into being through conceit. And yet it is by relying on conceit that conceit is to be abandoned.' Thus was it said. And in reference to what was it said? There is the case, sister, where a monk hears, 'The monk named such-and-such, they say, through the ending of the fermentations, has entered & remains in the fermentation-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having known & realized them for himself in the here & now.' The thought occurs to him, 'The monk named such-and-such, they say, through the ending of the fermentations, has entered & remains in the fermentation-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having known & realized them for himself in the here & now. Then why not me?' Then he eventually abandons conceit, having relied on conceit. 'This body comes into being through conceit. And yet it is by relying on conceit that conceit is to be abandoned.' Thus was it said, and in reference to this was it said.
you gain the share to others that you give of happiness and wellbeing
