Can monks attend to his sick parents or former wife?

[SarathW]

Can monks attend to his sick parents or former spouse?

[appicchato]

'Attend' is a relative term...*physically, the mom and ex are out...the dad, possibly, but only if there was absolutely no one else in the mix...

*Thailand...

[James the Giant]

Only mad tradition and commentaries written hundreds or a thousand years after the time of the Buddha, forbid tending to one's mother. Or even touching her.
These same commentaries also say a monk should not touch his mum even if she is drowning in a river! He has to use a stick or a rope, or let her drown.
Total insanity.
Not in the original teachings of the Buddha.

[Anagarika]

Only mad tradition and commentaries written hundreds or a thousand years after the time of the Buddha, forbid tending to one's mother. Or even touching her.
These same commentaries also say a monk should not touch his mum even if she is drowning in a river! He has to use a stick or a rope, or let her drown.
Total insanity.
Not in the original teachings of the Buddha.

This seems consistent with the tradition in Thailand, where a monk may bow only to two persons: a senior monk, or his/her parents. I recall one of the Thai great Bhikkhus (Ajahn Mun?) who moved to a village close to his mother in her old age, to open a Wat there. I believe she eventually moved into the temple.

[kmath]

Only mad tradition and commentaries written hundreds or a thousand years after the time of the Buddha, forbid tending to one's mother. Or even touching her.
These same commentaries also say a monk should not touch his mum even if she is drowning in a river! He has to use a stick or a rope, or let her drown.
Total insanity.
Not in the original teachings of the Buddha.

Do you have a reference on that?

[Babadhari]

compassion and loving-kindness for others should be the first priority for anybody truly following what the Buddha taught.

[Bankei]

Only mad tradition and commentaries written hundreds or a thousand years after the time of the Buddha, forbid tending to one's mother. Or even touching her.
These same commentaries also say a monk should not touch his mum even if she is drowning in a river! He has to use a stick or a rope, or let her drown.
Total insanity.
Not in the original teachings of the Buddha.

Do you have a reference on that?

Common sense perhaps?

In Thailand it is common for monks to go home and care for parents.

[Mkoll]

compassion and loving-kindness for others should be the first priority for anybody truly following what the Buddha taught.

If this situation occurred and it wasn't allowed that you could take care of it, the right think to do would be to disrobe and help your relatives. You could always re-ordain later when the time is right.

[SarathW]

Hi Mkoll
What if he is an Arahant?

[santa100]

I think a monk no longer gives special treatment to just his own parents or his own wife. Every sick elderly couple are his sick parents, every sick older woman is his sick older sister,...younger woman...younger sister...etc..and he'll give the best of his impartial service to everyone.

[Mkoll]

Hi Mkoll
What if he is an Arahant?

Dear SarathW,

I have no idea.

I think a monk no longer gives special treatment to just his own parents or his own wife. Every sick elderly couple are his sick parents, every sick older woman is his sick older sister,...younger woman...younger sister...etc..and he'll give the best of his impartial service to everyone.

Dear santa100,

But does that ideal still hold today? As BuddhaSoup wrote above, even a committed meditator like Ajahn Mun took care of his old mother. The Buddha said there were two people one could never repay: father and mother.

[kmath]

Only mad tradition and commentaries written hundreds or a thousand years after the time of the Buddha, forbid tending to one's mother. Or even touching her.
These same commentaries also say a monk should not touch his mum even if she is drowning in a river! He has to use a stick or a rope, or let her drown.
Total insanity.
Not in the original teachings of the Buddha.

Do you have a reference on that?

Common sense perhaps?

In Thailand it is common for monks to go home and care for parents.

Sorry, I meant the reference for where in the commentaries it says "a monk should not touch his mum even if she is drowning in a river!"

[Dhammanando]

• "The tradition that has come down to all Theravada Buddhist monks is that described in the Samantapasadika, the great commentary on the Vinayapitaka compiled by Buddhaghosa in Sri Lanka in the 5th century C.E. This authoritative work states that a monk may prescribe and supply medicines to his fellow monastics (monks and nuns), to his parents or to those looking after his parents, and to any laypeople staying in the monastery of Vihara either preparing to go forth as monks of just staying to help the monks. Also, a monk may prescribe but not buy medicines to his brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents and to whatever travellers, bandits, people wounded in battle and those without relatives who come to the monastery of Vihara for emergency help. Should a monk prescribe or supply medicines beyond his allowance, he commits an offence against his precepts (a dukkata offence). Further, if he prescribes of supplies a medicine to a layperson for a material gift in return, then he incurs another offence against his precepts for "corrupting families" (kuladusaka). That is what is stated in the Samantapasadika Vinaya Commentary, respected in all Theravada Buddhist countries."

From Ajahn Brahmavamso, May a Monk Act as a Doctor?

[santa100]

Mkoll wrote: Dear santa100,
But does that ideal still hold today? As BuddhaSoup wrote above, even a committed meditator like Ajahn Mun took care of his old mother. The Buddha said there were two people one could never repay: father and mother.

As Bhante pointed out, hopefully any monk would try to provide his impartial service to his parents and other people within the framework of the Vinaya, which he must've had listened AND agreed to before joining the monkhood. About the huge debt we owe our parents, the Buddha taught the best way to repay them in AN 2.31:

"I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? Your mother & father. Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder & your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, & rubbing their limbs, and they were to defecate & urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. If you were to establish your mother & father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, abounding in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. Why is that? Mother & father do much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world. But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one's mother & father." ~~ http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html ~~