I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Discussion of ordination, the Vinaya and monastic life. How and where to ordain? Bhikkhuni ordination etc.
JC938
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I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JC938 »

Hello

I am almost 31 y/o already, I want to use my life as human fruitful, and I want to be a monk for life (I have never ordain before. Used to only ordain as white cloth for a few days only, and for only one time). I live in Thailand.

I have a problem that is giving me trouble, that is, I don't have any money. I don't have any work or money right now. In the past, I use to do online business, but now I don't have work but I have many years of experience in online business.

I want to stop working and making/chasing money (because it's not easy to make money, I have been working for the past 14 years and I have only got failures again and again. I worry that if I keep chasing money, I will get old before I earn money and I will die before I become a monk.

Now, the problem is if I go and become a monk and everything goes smoothly, then good. Meaning, if I could stay and i'm happy at the monastery.

But if I go for a while and don't feel happy or feel uncomfortable or want to change temples or want to be alone or want to study elsewhere or want to travel to India or whatever problem I will not have any money. Even the money to go home I will not have.

So I thought that I should earn some money first, save some money. Buy a small condo first, own a small house / room, have a little passive income and help my family aswell. Then go to ordain as a monk, if I don't feel happy, i can always come back and stay in my room for awhile, and if I want, I can again go and become a monk, same place or new place. I can also practice in my room alone, I can also travel to India and I will have alot of freedom. I would have more freedom this way.

But if I say to myself, I will always be depending on the monastery for life to provide, what if I went and don't feel happy, what will I do?

Now, there is another way, and that is, why don't I try and become a monk for sometime and see how it goes, before i start venturing into business. But the problem is, I don't know which monastery to go. Near home or somewhere in forest monastery far away from my house (i live in bangkok).

Hope someone can help guide me.

Thanks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0wVrqt0euc - This mantra will guide you to Nibbana. It means:
Lead me from unreal to real,
lead me from darkness to light,
lead me from death to immortality.

It's a prayer to God to guide and lead you to Nibbana.
coconut
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by coconut »

I don't think becoming a monk out of desperation is a good thing. I think one should believe in the dhamma before even attempting to become a monk, as in they have at least 100% faith that it is true.
Now, the problem is if I go and become a monk and everything goes smoothly, then good
Therein lies the problem which needs to be solved before you even become a monk. You need to sort yourself out first, which I already advised you in a previous thread regarding work, school, corona, etc..
JC938
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Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:17 pm

Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JC938 »

coconut wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 4:10 pm I don't think becoming a monk out of desperation is a good thing. I think one should believe in the dhamma before even attempting to become a monk, as in they have at least 100% faith that it is true.
Now, the problem is if I go and become a monk and everything goes smoothly, then good
Therein lies the problem which needs to be solved before you even become a monk. You need to sort yourself out first, which I already advised you in a previous thread regarding work, school, corona, etc..
I don't think becoming a monk out of desperation is a good thing.

Right, the reason I'm desperate is because I want to live alone, I don't want to live my family. I want to move out and live alone, I'm already 30 and my mom treat me like I'm 16.

I think one should believe in the dhamma before even attempting to become a monk

I believe in dhamma, I've been wanting to be a monk since I was 19 years old, but I couldn't somehow.

Therein lies the problem which needs to be solved before you even become a monk.

Here, if I went to a monastery, and I couldn't live (there is always a possibility am I right? it could be for any reason). If I say I will be a monk for life, that is wrong way to say it, because I can't be sure I can be for life. So if I come back, then I need some money. So this thread is all about not having money as a backup plan just incase.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0wVrqt0euc - This mantra will guide you to Nibbana. It means:
Lead me from unreal to real,
lead me from darkness to light,
lead me from death to immortality.

It's a prayer to God to guide and lead you to Nibbana.
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JamesTheGiant
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JamesTheGiant »

Don't worry about backup plan. This is Mara trying to make you stay in the dusty worldly life! Trust in the dhamma.
Ordain now while you have the energy for dhamma practise!
If you disrobe after a few years, no trouble, I'm sure you can find a few bhat for a bus ticket, and stay with family or friends while you get working again. People are very generous.

As for finding a place to ordain, you are Thai, you have many Wats around you. Go to one and ask where they recommend.

You have an exciting journey ahead of you, I wish you well!

(EDIT: Just stay away from Dhammakaya. That's fake dhamma.)
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TamHanhHi
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by TamHanhHi »

JamesTheGiant wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 9:00 pm Don't worry about backup plan. This is Mara trying to make you stay in the dusty worldly life! Trust in the dhamma.
:goodpost:

Yes, part of practicing, especially as a monastic, is being ok with uncertainty. Embrace it and go forth :buddha1:
"Just as a large banyan tree, on level ground where four roads meet, is a haven for the birds all around, even so a lay person of conviction is a haven for many people: monks, nuns, male lay followers, & female lay followers."AN 5.38
Inedible
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by Inedible »

It sounds like you want money and security first. There is no reason why you shouldn't fix up your life first. You can learn the Sutta on Right View and get a lot of good practice in by examining your relationships with the people in your life. Difficult circumstances rub against the ego and polish it. Then when you do become a monk much of the hard work will be done. If you can learn to be happy in normal life it will be much easier when you are surrounded by people who are working toward Nibbana. Also, it is quite likely you will encounter some difficult people even in the best settings. Regular life gives you practice in dealing with them.
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StrivingforMonkhood
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by StrivingforMonkhood »

JamesTheGiant wrote: Wed Jan 20, 2021 9:00 pm Don't worry about backup plan. This is Mara trying to make you stay in the dusty worldly life! Trust in the dhamma.


Yes, part of practicing, especially as a monastic, is being ok with uncertainty. Embrace it and go forth :buddha1:
Excellent post above! :anjali:


We in the West really like to discourage folks from trying out monasticism. I suppose it's because of our materialistic/sex-obsessed world + family-focused Protestant ethics. Al that said, we just don't jump into Buddhist monasticism on a whim without serious judgment and consideration.

May these two men fulfill their deepest wish for happiness. May the Holy Buddha lead them to monastic life when it is ripe.

Peace, love and enlightenment.

:namaste:
May we all fulfill our deepest wish for happiness

We are already Buddha
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Goofaholix
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by Goofaholix »

I think you need to find a monastery or teacher that you are comfortable to live with long term before you worry about finances.

Go and live in a monastery as a layman for a while, you'll need a little for living expenses but not a lot. If you don't like it there try a different monastery or teacher. Keep doing that until it becomes clearer what you want to do with your life. If you decide you want to ordain with a particular monastery then that's the time to talk through these issues with your teacher, maybe he can offer some solutions.
“Peace is within oneself to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it.” ― Ajahn Chah
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StrivingforMonkhood
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by StrivingforMonkhood »

Goofaholix wrote: Sun Feb 14, 2021 9:08 pm I think you need to find a monastery or teacher that you are comfortable to live with long term before you worry about finances.

Go and live in a monastery as a layman for a while, you'll need a little for living expenses but not a lot. If you don't like it there try a different monastery or teacher. Keep doing that until it becomes clearer what you want to do with your life. If you decide you want to ordain with a particular monastery then that's the time to talk through these issues with your teacher, maybe he can offer some solutions.
Good advice.

There are also monks who are not part of any Buddhist school who are forest/desert dwellers. I know it's not "proper" Buddhism school they belong to, per say, but a few go down this path, still identifying as Buddhist.

Some proper Buddhist monks become hermits as well.

The OP has many options ahead, I believe.

Peace and enlightenment
May we all fulfill our deepest wish for happiness

We are already Buddha
JC938
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Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:17 pm

Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JC938 »

Thanks everyone, I'm now ready for monkhood, but I'm still living at home. But I no longer worry about money, as I now have faith that God will send what I and my family needs. If we don't need it, God won't send. If God didn't send food today, I means, it's ok to go without food for a day.

Thanks everyone,for all the guides and replies you gave me in this and all other threads.

Also, the other day I shave my head and my eye brows :tongue:

I don't know when I will be a monk, but I should start practicing it now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0wVrqt0euc - This mantra will guide you to Nibbana. It means:
Lead me from unreal to real,
lead me from darkness to light,
lead me from death to immortality.

It's a prayer to God to guide and lead you to Nibbana.
tamdrin
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Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 7:34 pm
Location: Chiang Mai, Thailand

Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by tamdrin »

You are Khon Thai right? I'm up here in Chiang Mai. Why don't you try out living 8 precepts and white clothes for a year and see if you like it.

Best wishes,
JC938
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Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:17 pm

Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JC938 »

tamdrin wrote: Mon Feb 22, 2021 1:17 pm You are Khon Thai right? I'm up here in Chiang Mai. Why don't you try out living 8 precepts and white clothes for a year and see if you like it.

Best wishes,
Yes, I'm Thai, I'm home and I'm keeping 8 precepts at home. I think I will not be a monk for now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0wVrqt0euc - This mantra will guide you to Nibbana. It means:
Lead me from unreal to real,
lead me from darkness to light,
lead me from death to immortality.

It's a prayer to God to guide and lead you to Nibbana.
tamdrin
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Location: Chiang Mai, Thailand

Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by tamdrin »

What are you doing this Friday for Magha Bucha day?
JC938
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JC938 »

tamdrin wrote: Wed Feb 24, 2021 5:51 am What are you doing this Friday for Magha Bucha day?
I will probably be home like everyday and keep sila 8 like everyday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0wVrqt0euc - This mantra will guide you to Nibbana. It means:
Lead me from unreal to real,
lead me from darkness to light,
lead me from death to immortality.

It's a prayer to God to guide and lead you to Nibbana.
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JamesTheGiant
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Re: I want to ordain, but I have a problem that I just can't solve.

Post by JamesTheGiant »

JC938 wrote: Wed Feb 24, 2021 7:33 am
tamdrin wrote: Wed Feb 24, 2021 5:51 am What are you doing this Friday for Magha Bucha day?
I will probably be home like everyday and keep sila 8 like everyday.
If you are interested, maybe you can go visit a wat on that day.
I love to wake up on those special days and go to the sala in the dark before dawn, and do chanting and meditation with all the other people. So nice.
Then the sun rises, and you can help with sweeping or something, and it's a really good start to the day.
Just a suggestion
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