I'm so depressed

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greggorious
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I'm so depressed

Post by greggorious »

I've fallen back into a heavy depression again. I know there are some Buddhists who like to think of the hell realms as literal places, but to me it's the worst state of mind you can think of. I'm in the hell realms, and no matter how hard I try I can't get out. Doctors don't help, anti depressants don't help, the dharma hasn't helped.
"The original heart/mind shines like pure, clear water with the sweetest taste. But if the heart is pure, is our practice over? No, we must not cling even to this purity. We must go beyond all duality, all concepts, all bad, all good, all pure, all impure. We must go beyond self and nonself, beyond birth and death. When we see with the eye of wisdom, we know that the true Buddha is timeless, unborn, unrelated to any body, any history, any image. Buddha is the ground of all being, the realization of the truth of the unmoving mind.” Ajahn Chah
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Sam Vara
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Sam Vara »

greggorious,

I'm really sorry to read your post, and hear that you are feeling so bad. I am hoping that it will pass quickly. Maybe the doctors and medication and the Dhamma have already helped a bit, but the results are not manifest yet. Keep trying if you can, and remember you are not alone in your suffering.
David2
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by David2 »

and no matter how hard I try I can't get out.
Maybe you are trying too hard? Give it time. Observe your body and feelings carefully, they are constantly changing, there are no two moments in which you have exactly the same feelings. It's all anicca, impermanent.
santa100
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by santa100 »

When you're down, don't just sit there and breathe the stale air in your room. Get out to the open sky and start moving: jogging, running, biking, whatever you like.. The fresh air not only will make your body feels good but also your mind..
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Ben
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Ben »

Hi Greg,
greggorious wrote:I've fallen back into a heavy depression again. I know there are some Buddhists who like to think of the hell realms as literal places, but to me it's the worst state of mind you can think of. I'm in the hell realms, and no matter how hard I try I can't get out. Doctors don't help, anti depressants don't help, the dharma hasn't helped.
I think it wise to have a conversation with your doctor regarding your treatment. If you have been put on medication for your depression and you are taking some of the modern SSRI anti-depressants, they do take a number of weeks to take effect. You may also wish to look at some of your behaviours that maybe exacerbating your depression. CBT can also be an extremely useful tool in your arsenal. If you are still getting no relief then you need to talk to your doctor or therapist to adjust your treatment. You can also enact some lifestyle changes that will help you "feel" better. Regular exercise, a healthy diet and regular sleep patterns are also very helpful.

Don't give up on your Dhamma practice. It is to your long-term benefit and will eventually greatly assist you in removing the root-causes of dukkha. Some years ago I was in contact with researchers at Macquarie University in Sydney who found that cancer patients suffering from depression were significantly benefited by mindfulness practice in conjunction with their medication and 'talk therapy' based treatment for their depression.
kind regards,

Ben
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ground
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by ground »

greggorious wrote:I've fallen back into a heavy depression again. I know there are some Buddhists who like to think of the hell realms as literal places, but to me it's the worst state of mind you can think of. I'm in the hell realms, and no matter how hard I try I can't get out. Doctors don't help, anti depressants don't help, the dharma hasn't helped.
You are thinking too much. You have been running back and forth between what you think of as "Theravada" and what you think of as "Zen" ... accepting this and rejecting that ... but all you have been accepting and rejecting are just your own thoughts .... relax, my friend ... relax and recognize your real enemy ... unskillful thought. Now you may wonder "But what then is 'skillful thought'" ... but you cannot find out through thinking, thinking cannot differentiate between its being skillful or unskillful. First you have to relax and calm all your thinking and experience the relief through less thinking or - even better - not thinking at all ... only after this experience it may dawn what skillful thinking may be but this dawning is not brought about through thinking.


Kind regards
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RMSmith
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by RMSmith »

The depression will dissipate on its own, as long as you don't dwell on it. Its existence relies on being fed by attention. I was severely depressed for 4+ years recently. It slowly faded after a month or so, when I decided I was too tired to have it around anymore. I focused on other things and forgot all about it.
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bodom
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by bodom »

RMSmith wrote:The depression will dissipate on its own, as long as you don't dwell on it. Its existence relies on being fed by attention. I was severely depressed for 4+ years recently. It slowly faded after a month or so, when I decided I was too tired to have it around anymore. I focused on other things and forgot all about it.
First lets have a medically qualified professional give greggorious's depression some attention before recommending any courses of action like this.

:anjali:
This is our foundation: to have sati, recollection, and sampajañña, self-awareness, whether standing, walking, sitting, or reclining. Whatever arises, just leave it be, don’t cling to it. Whether it’s like or dislike, happiness or suffering, doubt or certainty... Don’t try to label everything, just know it. See that all the things that arise in the mind are simply sensations. They are transient. They arise, exist and cease. That’s all there is to them, they have no self or being, they are neither ‘us’ nor ‘them’. None of them are worthy of clinging to.

- Ajahn Chah
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Cittasanto
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Cittasanto »

greggorious wrote:I've fallen back into a heavy depression again. I know there are some Buddhists who like to think of the hell realms as literal places, but to me it's the worst state of mind you can think of. I'm in the hell realms, and no matter how hard I try I can't get out. Doctors don't help, anti depressants don't help, the dharma hasn't helped.
Have you looked at your lifestyle with a qualified therapist, or are you going to a doctor and asking for a prescription?
some medications take time to work, and need a reduction time when coming off of them.
How much exercise do you get, I mean actual exercise like running, swimming, & walking?
do you spend time in nature/with friends, do you communicate with them what you are going through?
are you eating a well balanced diet with all the vinamins and minerals needed?
what are you practising off the cushion, any of the virtues which led the gods to be born in that state, and do you recollect your own virtuousness, your own good qualities?
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
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Fede
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Fede »

It's also worth considering gaining a 'second opinion'... a friend of mine nearly took his own life on more than one occasion, and was put onto several different meds.... but eventually his diagnosis was revised, confirmed and he was subsequently given the correct medication. Medication he was 'compatible' with, and which helped him....
The medication he had been given to date, actually made his condition much, much worse.....it was literally killing him - or making him wish he was dead.

Check it out with more than one professional.
sometimes, in matters of the brain, they're feeling their way too.....
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


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greggorious
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by greggorious »

Thanks for your replies. It's always easy to reccomend that someone with depression go to see a doctor, be put on anti depressants, see a psychiatrist etc. To be honest I've lost all faith in doctors. In our capitalist society I've met too many doctors who are only too happy to just shove loads of pills down my throat. I've been on many different anti depressants over the past 15 years, and this is where it has got me, even more depressed than I was before. Meds just aren't an option for me anymore. This is why I became interested in Buddhism, and especially meditation, cos I want alternative ways to combat my "Mental illness". Usually the people who suggest meds are people who have never even been on them. They all have horrific side effects and I've had enough. I've been in therapy too for many years and have felt no progress at all.
"The original heart/mind shines like pure, clear water with the sweetest taste. But if the heart is pure, is our practice over? No, we must not cling even to this purity. We must go beyond all duality, all concepts, all bad, all good, all pure, all impure. We must go beyond self and nonself, beyond birth and death. When we see with the eye of wisdom, we know that the true Buddha is timeless, unborn, unrelated to any body, any history, any image. Buddha is the ground of all being, the realization of the truth of the unmoving mind.” Ajahn Chah
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Aloka
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Aloka »

Hi Greg,

I'm really sorry that you're not feeling so good. I don't know which country you live in, but it certainly might be worth asking your doctor if Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy is available to you (it includes meditation)

Here's some information for you at the link:

http://mbct.co.uk/about-mbct/

This is a BBC report from 2008 about it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7319043.stm


with kind wishes

Aloka
greggorious
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by greggorious »

Thanks for the link. It's actually very near me, that centre, I'm from North London. I'm guessing it's a private practice charging lots of money though, and I'm unemployed.
"The original heart/mind shines like pure, clear water with the sweetest taste. But if the heart is pure, is our practice over? No, we must not cling even to this purity. We must go beyond all duality, all concepts, all bad, all good, all pure, all impure. We must go beyond self and nonself, beyond birth and death. When we see with the eye of wisdom, we know that the true Buddha is timeless, unborn, unrelated to any body, any history, any image. Buddha is the ground of all being, the realization of the truth of the unmoving mind.” Ajahn Chah
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Aloka
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Aloka »

greggorious wrote:Thanks for the link. It's actually very near me, that centre, I'm from North London. I'm guessing it's a private practice charging lots of money though, and I'm unemployed.

I think its available on the NHS Greg, which is why its worth asking your GP about it.



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Aloka
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Re: I'm so depressed

Post by Aloka »

.

If you're unemployed Greg, why not try doing some voluntary work for a while until you can find a job ?

If you like animals, for example, animal rescue centres sometimes take on volunteers to help look after rescued animals at the centres, or NHS hospitals take voluntary workers to do various jobs. There are lots of things you could do to help others in some way.


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