Lockdown Stress

[No_Mind]

I am facing a strange problem on day 12 of lockdown.

I suffer from OCD (I have chronicled my struggle with it elsewhere). It has been under remarkable control for about 15 years. But lockdown means no maid, so no one to clean.

I am cooking, working (from home) and looking after an invalid .. which leaves me no time/energy to clean.

This was not a problem for first 4-6 days. But now my OCD is driving me mad. I can try and clean (I am doing what I can) but no possible way I can do it as a professional cleaner can (just like the professional cleaner can't do what I do for a living!)

I am sort of failing. Not doing anything wrong like drink but getting depressed and more depressed and more depressed! Theoretically this can go on for another 30 days

What I am trying to say is, when life is stripped down to a bare struggle for survival (not unlike zombie stories) why do I still have an attachment to words like failing (or winning)?

I am unable to just exist and that shows I have not progressed at all in almost 7 years. I still apply adjectives to my life. I thought I was way past the rich/poor, fat/slim, dichotomous manner of thinking.

How to stay mindful? How to not subject myself to judgement by me?

Edit Add -

1. This is not the same as a retreat. A retreat does not have an uncertain ending.
2. Also, I have come face to face with how deep samskaras run and quite overwhelmed by the thought of ever being able to eradicate any except the ones that are most superficial - lust, greed, envy .. so on

[santa100]

I am facing a strange problem on day 12 of lockdown.

You're still allowed to exercise outdoor right? Sometimes the simplest fix is to get out of the house and fill your lungs with some fresh air doing intensive cardios like running, biking, etc. Just be mindful of the social distancing rule of keeping at least 8 feet away from people when're you're out.

[Sam Vara]

https://www.cittaviveka.org/video

You might find this talk from Ajahn Sucitto helpful.

Also, try googling something like "Dhamma talks Corona lockdown". There are lots of them out there now. I watched one yesterday which was recommended, but it featured Jon Kabat-Zinn and there are limits!

You might find one that helps. I will be thinking of you and sending my best wishes.

[Dan74]

These tough times are the best practice times. When reality hits us smack in the face. Most of our practice and attainments are a fantasy. The ones that aren't are never thought of in those terms. So treasure it. Sip it like a fine wine. This is where it's truly at.

[[james]]

So treasure it. Sip it like a fine wine. This is where it's truly at.

[SarathW]

How to stay mindful? How to not subject myself to judgement by me?

Practice Satipathana.
- I do lot of walking up and down in my house. Keep your attention on the sole touching the ground
- Aware of the feeling your sole touching the ground
- Aware of body sensation primarily. (but see how other senses intrude. Specially negative thought of OCD creping from your mind)
- Observe the Dhamma arising. (primarily negatives such as greed hate delusion and positives such as Metta, Karuna,Mudita and Upekkha)

[Polar Bear]

I am facing a strange problem on day 12 of lockdown.

You're still allowed to exercise outdoor right?

Nope, here in India the lockdown confines us to our place of residence except for acquiring essentials like food and medicine. It ain’t no walk in the park

[2600htz]

Hello:

In part you just have to take the pain.
Its a sucky situation, you are going to have tougher days than usual, because when the conditions are right stress arises.
Dont fight it so much, its going to pass away eventually.

Regards.

[befriend]

Try reading the book Brain Lock it's about ocd and is written by a Buddhist.

[No_Mind]

Thanks for all the great responses.

I am coping by watching/listening Ajahn Brahm Dhamma talks almost non-stop. Something about him, his demeanor, and terrible jokes soothe me.

Also, reading passages from Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius and Stoicism, watching Einzelgänger, Academy of Ideas and School of Life videos on YouTube.

Last but not least ex-Seal Jocko Willink videos (of "discipline equals freedom" fame).

Lockdown will be lifted on 14th April and in all likelihood reimposed for a month after 4-5 days. Probably this will continue till September.

And from October one can reasonably expect a new wave of coronavirus. Pandemics usually last two full seasons.

It is a new normal and quite a but like zombie movies (WW Z, I am Legend, The Walking Dead)

Much love and metta to all of you.



No_Mind

[Meezer77]

Wash and sanitise your hands. And apply fragrance free moisturiser to them. You’ll be fine

[Aloka]

Hello No Mind,

I'm finding that the words of Ajahn Chah are helpful to me in these difficult times.

Peace is within oneself to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. Trying to run away from suffering is actually to run toward it.

If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will have complete peace.

https://www.dhammatalks.net/Books/Ajahn ... n_Chah.htm

Wishing you good heath and happiness.

[confusedlayman]

buddha said highest pleasure comes from keeping body still and not moving. hope u can aim for that

[Dhammanando]

buddha said highest pleasure comes from keeping body still and not moving. hope u can aim for that

Do you mean in the Vitakkasaṇṭhānasutta? If so, lying still is there described as the easiest posture, not the highest pleasure.

Monks, even as it might occur to a man who is walking quickly: ‘Now, why do I walk quickly? Suppose I were to walk slowly?’ It might occur to him as he was walking slowly: ‘Now, why do I walk slowly? Suppose I were to stand?’ It might occur to him as he was standing: ‘Now, why do I stand? Suppose I were to sit down?’ It might occur to him as he was sitting down: ‘Now, why do I sit down? Suppose I were to lie down?’, even so, monks, the man, having abandoned the very hardest posture, might take to the easiest posture itself. Even so, monks, if while the monk has brought about forgetfulness of and lack of attention to those thoughts there still arise evil unskilled thoughts associated with desire and associated with aversion and associated with confusion, monks, that monk should attend to the thought function and form of those thoughts. While he is attending to the thought function and form of those thoughts, those that are evil unskilled thoughts associated with desire and associated with aversion and associated with confusion, these are got rid of, these come to an end. By getting rid of these the mind subjectively steadies, calms, is one-pointed, concentrated.

https://suttacentral.net/mn20/en/horner

[confusedlayman]

buddha said highest pleasure comes from keeping body still and not moving. hope u can aim for that

Do you mean in the Vitakkasaṇṭhānasutta? If so, lying still is there described as the easiest posture, not the highest pleasure.

Monks, even as it might occur to a man who is walking quickly: ‘Now, why do I walk quickly? Suppose I were to walk slowly?’ It might occur to him as he was walking slowly: ‘Now, why do I walk slowly? Suppose I were to stand?’ It might occur to him as he was standing: ‘Now, why do I stand? Suppose I were to sit down?’ It might occur to him as he was sitting down: ‘Now, why do I sit down? Suppose I were to lie down?’, even so, monks, the man, having abandoned the very hardest posture, might take to the easiest posture itself. Even so, monks, if while the monk has brought about forgetfulness of and lack of attention to those thoughts there still arise evil unskilled thoughts associated with desire and associated with aversion and associated with confusion, monks, that monk should attend to the thought function and form of those thoughts. While he is attending to the thought function and form of those thoughts, those that are evil unskilled thoughts associated with desire and associated with aversion and associated with confusion, these are got rid of, these come to an end. By getting rid of these the mind subjectively steadies, calms, is one-pointed, concentrated.

https://suttacentral.net/mn20/en/horner

Hi monk. no thats not what i meant. Once one king ask buddha about highest pleasure. buddha ask king if his pelasure is more or monk who can sit without moving body and maintain higest pleasure is superior pleasuire...
its in one sutta.