masturbation what's wrong?

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K.Dhamma
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Urges.

Post by K.Dhamma »

Ok, so I am going to start working on a desire I feel needs to be addressed. We are human, but we still have urges of the sexual type. Abstaining from sex I don't have a problem with so much. However refraining from the "solo acts" has become extremely difficult. Sutta's? Practices I can use? My teacher is afs(away from sangha) for a bit and I just need something to get me started.

Things I have tried:

Restricting access to erotica.(tv, computer, magazines)
Meditation as substitute.
The 5 body part meditation.(hair, nails, skin, teeth)

Only insight I can come up with is complete renunciation.

Metta.
"Remember you dont meditate to get anything, but to get rid of things. We do it, not with desire, but with letting go. If you want anything, you wont find it." - Ajahn Chah
Dennenappelmoes
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Re: Urges.

Post by Dennenappelmoes »

Couple of things that cross my mind;
- Remember why you want it (is this a necessary working area at all? If yes, you should remember your motivation)
- Be kind to yourself. Do not punish or harm yourself. If there was no Buddhism, which would you rather want to be: The conservative Christian who says you go to hell for masturbation and you should feel guilty, or the scientist who says it is a proven way to release stress and get rid of anxiety? In my opinion it is better to indulge in both temptation A and in temptation B with moderation, than to abstain from A completely, fanatically, while still having B (and there always is a B in life). Seriously, ban it from your life and you will notice you'll find a substitute desire, like food or smoke or whatever. Maybe differentiate between: This time food/entertainment/sexual activity is reasonably 'necessary' and an act of kindness towards myself, and this time I'm grateful to have this learning opportunity to make some good karma by taking a new course of action by not doing it. Middle way is where it's at!
- Contemplate the notion of impermanence or simply watch the breath. For me personally that helps a great deal when I feel sad, maybe it would work for your problem as well.

(I'm obviously not a teacher or anything so I'm posting this both to help you and to recieve help from anyone who disagrees with anything I wrote)

Another point: According to Ajahn Brahm, when it comes to sexual desire, restricting your access to things (access as in: even being able to see girls) does not work. It will simply lower the threshold for the desire to arise.

And maybe the way is not to refrain but to progress to a state where the conditions for the desire to arise in the first place dissolve? I think I've heard Yuttadhammo about this, but I can't remember which video.

Best of luck in your development! :namaste:
knighter
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celibacy/self pleasure

Post by knighter »

Hello there

Has anyone tried celibacy as part of there practice?, for how long? and how difficult was it?
And sorry to get personal, but what are your thoughts on masterbation.
thanks
knighter
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Sekha
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by Sekha »

Yes, for several years. Difficult in the beginning, but it becomes ever easier if you keep practicing consistently without backsliding. Masturbation should be avoided.
Where knowledge ends, religion begins. - B. Disraeli

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Coyote
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by Coyote »

Celibacy is part of the 8 precepts, which I have kept in the past, though my Uposatha day practice has fallen by the wayside recently. It wasn't a problem for the day/couple of days and gave me lots of work on in my meditation. Never tried it for longer periods, but it shouldn't be a problem if you are really dedicated and in a suitable setting. I think it is definitely a bonus if you are able, but remember there were many stream enterers in the canon who were not celibate.
"If beings knew, as I know, the results of giving & sharing, they would not eat without having given, nor would the stain of miserliness overcome their minds. Even if it were their last bite, their last mouthful, they would not eat without having shared."
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knighter
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by knighter »

Hello there

thanks for the reply
. Masturbation should be avoided.
why should masterbation be avoided ?
thanks
knighter
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Sekha
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by Sekha »

Any sexual activity strengthens the attachment of the mind to the body, which is a direct impediment to spiritual growth. The Buddha made this point very clear. There is no way to make it clearer than by experimenting oneself.
Where knowledge ends, religion begins. - B. Disraeli

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knighter
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by knighter »

Thanks sekha

ive just been reading your post on what makes a religion, if my grammar and writing skills where up to scratch id have written everything you had written.
I dont say this often but i hold you in high regard as i dont seem to be able to find many backers of vipassana on this site.
much respect, fellow human
Thanks
knighter
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Aloka
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by Aloka »

what are your thoughts on masterbation
There's already a long masturbation thread with lots of posts from the male members of the group somewhere on the website, but I'm not sure where it is. Maybe you could ask a moderator ?

.
knighter
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by knighter »

ps

any tips on when passion arises?
thanks
knighter
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Ben
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by Ben »

knighter wrote:ps

any tips on when passion arises?
thanks
knighter
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knighter
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by knighter »

Thanks all
knighter
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Sam Vara
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by Sam Vara »

Aloka wrote:
There's already a long masturbation thread with lots of posts from the male members of the group
.
This made me laugh. Thanks Aloka!
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DNS
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Re: masturbation what's wrong?

Post by DNS »

Sam Vara wrote:
Aloka wrote:
There's already a long masturbation thread with lots of posts from the male members of the group
.
This made me laugh. Thanks Aloka!
Moderator note: I have merged a few of the previous threads and the long one together. One topic for this subject is enough.
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ground
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Re: celibacy/self pleasure

Post by ground »

knighter wrote:. Masturbation should be avoided.
why should masterbation be avoided ?
Should it? Well maybe, at least during meditation ... that means ... as far as I now masturbation does not belong to the conventional meditation methods although there may be quite a deal of concentration involved .... and pleasure ... in jhanas there is also concentration and pleasure ... but it is said that the latter is conducive concentration and pleasure while masturbation is not ... anyway what can be learned is that humans are seeking pleasure and that there are different means to attain pleasure and that pleasure is only temporary. :sage:
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