I could reply to each comment individually, but I would prefer to just state that I read every reply, and that I will note what especially resonates with me, from reading the sum total of your helpful contributions.
Equanimity: all beings are owners of their kamma, heirs to their kamma, born of their kamma, related through their kamma, abide supported by their kamma...whatever kamma they shall do, for good of for ill, of that they will be the heir.."
I need more equanimity in general, also the ability to let go of the notion that i could somehow protect all those vulnerable kids (a wholesome sentiment, but unrealistic in the extreme! and of course I've always known it's impossible, but the wish has been there at times) - in any case, they too might be experiencing the results of past bad kamma, of course we cannot know at this stage, but we have all probably done some atrocious things during our long,long wandering though Samsara...and probably paid dearly for that also, although without the higher knowledge of recollection of previous lives, we can only take that as a 'reasonable working hypothesis' for now, one that does make good sense to me, however. In a sense, no-one is truly innocent; we're all creating & reaping kamma all the time.
I will look up that sutta where it says, 'what should I expect?' Was the Buddha implying here, 'this is what happens in Samsaric life, why are you so surprised?' or something along those lines?
Lastly, someone wrote about wishing the folks doing great harm to others, would cease and desist - in other words, 'may you learn the causes for true happiness, and act on that knowledge for your own benefit, and that of others', or words to that effect, which would entail ceasing & desisting from the evil actions they are doing, of course. When I contemplate that, I feel this sense of sadness, yes, but not anger. I can feel compassion for both victim and aggressor. I think my 'blockage' regarding this issue, is being resolved, thanks to all your good advice. I'm not saying there is not work to do, just that, I have some great advice and links to suttas I can utilize.
As I wrote in my opening post, the wish to be free of ill-will, has been steadily increasing within me for a while. In a sense, my heart has grown somewhat 'weary' of ill-will; there's this perception of it as a burden (and as an 'illness', as in the five hindrances simile). Not just because it hinders meditation, but because, I would like to be able to extend goodwill to all beings, without exception - and now I feel, I'm on the path to that.
This Forum is a great blessing, that we can get assistance like this, from around the world. A heartfelt thanks to everyone once more.
So to finish off...
May all beings without exception, abide in goodwill & kindness, learn the causes for true happiness, and act in such a way that brings happiness to both themselves and others.
